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When is it permissible to divorce? Are your views of when it is permissible based on your religion?
My views are not religiously inspired.
The question of divorce is never an easy question. When is it better to stay together and attempt to work things out rather than give up?
Certainly, if there is abuse, divorce is legitimate (and usually preferred). Unfortunately, this isn't as rare as we might like.
But beyond that, people grow apart. Goals change. Communication can fail. And it can become clear that one or both people involved are unhappy and also unwilling to do the work to get back to happiness. It may simply not be worth it given the changed perspectives of those involved.
Full disclosure: I have been divorced twice. Both of my ex's have gone on to relationships where they are happier, as have I. I am still friends with my second wife and have no bad feelings toward my first one. But what we wanted out of life changed enough that the relationships, as marriages, we no longer viable.
Now, if anything, I see my second wife as more of a sister than anything else. As she likes to say, we divorced because we love each other.
but then, marriage is (almost) always permissible; as you say, advisability is another matter...Divorce is always permissible.
Advisability is a different question, but
that is up to the individual wanting to.
When is it permissible to divorce?
Are your views of when it is permissible based on your religion?
As one who is better versed than most on the subject based on experience, it's permissible, in my opinion, to get a divorce when the relationship deteriorates to a level where it causes harm to either party or to their offspring.
Your post strikes me as extraordinarily wise, Polymath. Maybe you should tone it down a bit. I mean, this is RF. We don't do wisdom here.
When is it permissible to divorce? Are your views of when it is permissible based on your religion?
In Christianity it is permissible to divorce if you have evidence of infidelity. Or if one partner is abusive to you or the children.
I wonder why nobody ever asks the corollary question: "when is it permissible to force people who despise one another to stay together and pretend to love each other?"Divorce is always permissible.
Advisability is a different question, but
the decision is up to the individual wanting it.
Aye, the parents might not always make the best decisions,I wonder why nobody ever asks the corollary question: "when is it permissible to force people who despise one another to stay together and pretend to love each other?"
After all, even if it's "for the children," those wee bairns can feel the conflict from an early age -- and they are harmed by it! Why would it be right to insist on that?
And you say that to a battered child who spent years in institutions to recover and learn to forgive -- taken away from those very parents who tried, in their mutual hatred, to kill him? You think, then, it would have been better for them to have stayed together and me to have remained with them -- and died?Aye, the parents might not always make the best decisions,
but no one else should be doing it for them. Kids benefit
from parents doing what the need to do.
Perhaps I was unclear, or I misunderstand your post, but here it goes an answer....And you say that to a battered child who spent years in institutions to recover and learn to forgive -- taken away from those very parents who tried, in their mutual hatred, to kill him? You think, then, it would have been better for them to have stayed together and me to have remained with them -- and died?
Nice.
Thank you. We are agreed. Perhaps I misread your post, or you left something out, or both, but I think we've cleared that up.Perhaps I was unclear, or I misunderstand your post, but here it goes an answer....
I favor parents divorcing (or not) if they feel the need.
Staying together when the marriage is dead or dangerous is bad for kids.
What a relief!Thank you. We are agreed. Perhaps I misread your post, or you left something out, or both, but I think we've cleared that up.
When is it permissible to divorce? Are your views of when it is permissible based on your religion?