Saving Yourself for Marriage?

[Shermana]

I think you're idolizing Virginity to say the least; putting it on a pedestal.

In that case, I idolize pretty much everything I idealize, including every aspect of my religious beliefs. I guess I also idolize organic food too, since I won't eat anything but. I guess almost all of humanity has "idolized" virginity for most of its history. I guess anything I try to defend that coincides with my religious beliefs must be being "idolized". But I don't see what that has to do with the very essence of what I'm even debating. The original point I tried to make, before being pressed to try to defend my opinion that I find virgins more attractive and why I do so, was that virgins have a much higher demand among the upper-status males.

I think we have different definitions of "idolizing".

 

[Shermana]

It doesn't mean that you can't get excited over anything but your fetish. It just means you like that more. A guy who really likes larger boobs doesn't suddenly become impotent at the sight of a B-cup.

Well you should have a talk with Me Myself, as your definitions are clashing. Besides, a "large breast" fetish is not necessarily in its own league from the general breast fetish. Most guys prefer large breasts to begin with, but will be happy with almost any size available. Your argument is apples and oranges compared to how fetishes work.

Then again for it to be deeme a fetish it most be one of the central parts of interest on the sex part, to the point that without it sexual satisfaction is a lot harder.

Unless you have a different idea of what "a lot harder" means.

I got excited just fine by the most-likely-not-virgin waitress at the business lunch I just back from. It certainly wasn't a "Lot harder". There goes your Fetish argument.

 

[Sha'irullah]

I believe celibacy should be encouraged as a more acceptable and masculine and feminine option to life.

In American society it feels that to me over sexualization is just far to rampant. Every time you see a medical show 70% of the questions are sexual related. We are becoming far to obsessed with it that the best alternative is to promote the idea of not giving a damn.

People mock others for being celibate and I myself am heavily mocked for being asexual. It is deemed inhumane and unmasculine but this is simply not true. Those who have total control of their loins to the point they require no physical stimulation are those who are truly productive in society or have the greater expectancy.

Celibacy should not be used for religious purposes but instead for self discipline and the betterment of the mind.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I believe celibacy should be encouraged as a more acceptable and masculine and feminine option to life.

In American society it feels that to me over sexualization is just far to rampant. Every time you see a medical show 70% of the questions are sexual related. We are becoming far to obsessed with it that the best alternative is to promote the idea of not giving a damn.

People mock others for being celibate and I myself am heavily mocked for being asexual. It is deemed inhumane and unmasculine but this is simply not true. Those who have total control of their loins to the point they require no physical stimulation are those who are truly productive in society or have the greater expectancy.

Celibacy should not be used for religious purposes but instead for self discipline and the betterment of the mind.

Why must reduction of the sexual obsession that some people seem to have be accompanied with encouragement of celibacy? It doesn't seem to me that replacing one extreme thing with another would be a solution to anything.

 

[DallasApple]

Having sex with a virgin is like playing chess with someone who's never played before: they don't know how to move the pieces, they have no chance of giving you an interesting game, and it's a tedious and long process to try to teach them how to play decently. I'm more interested in playing against someone who can force a draw half the time after a long and complex opening, middle, and end game which included a solid strategy, flashy tactics, and an ability to use many pieces in combination.

Now wait a minute here . LOL!!!!! That's swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction .I have "bumped into" LOTS of men that were not virgins and by chance met and fell in love with a virgin .None of them described "teaching' her as tedious or having "no chance' of giving him and interesting "game'.They ENJOYED teaching her even thought of it as a special priveledge.

Of course those guys were interested in a long term relationship.I can see where it may not be really fun for a one night stand or casual sex.

 

[illykitty]

I think discovering things together is part of the fun, but that's just me.

 

[Shermana]

I think discovering things together is part of the fun, but that's just me.

Yeah, I dread to think of a life where teaching a girl new things is 'tedious".

 

[dust1n]

Not necessarily. The ugly ones just have more experience with more partners. The prettier ones can be just as experienced if not more so, but with more exclusive practicioners.

Being experienced with one person and then claiming to be experienced in sex is like only ever making enchiladas and then claiming to be a master at Mexican cuisine. Might be really good at making enchiladas though.

 

[Shermana]

Being experienced with one person and then claiming to be experienced in sex is like only ever making enchiladas and then claiming to be a master at Mexican cuisine. Might be really good at making enchiladas though.

Seriously? What if that person was a Kama Sutra expert?

Give that a big rethink there.

 

[dust1n]

Seriously? What if that person was a Kama Sutra expert?

Give that a big rethink there.

Yeah... the best enchiladas someone's ever had.

 

[Me Myself]

Seriously? What if that person was a Kama Sutra expert?

Give that a big rethink there.

Knowing the kamasutra by heart wont necessarily translate into being good on sex.

 

[Me Myself]

For reference and from ODE

Definition of fetish in English
fetish
Pronunciation: /ˈfɛtɪʃ/
Translate fetish | into German | into Italian | into Spanish
noun
1a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.:
a man with a fetish for surgical masks
a foot fetish
some may have fetishes, like dressing up in women’s clothes
Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots
an excessive and irrational devotion or commitment to a particular thing:
men will never understand a woman’s fetish for shoes and handbags
the western fetish for all things North African
2an inanimate object worshipped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.

 

[DallasApple]

Being experienced with one person and then claiming to be experienced in sex is like only ever making enchiladas and then claiming to be a master at Mexican cuisine. Might be really good at making enchiladas though.

Seriously? I'm starting to resent such comments even though i haven't only been with one person but my experience with others is a drop in the bucket over my lifetime considering the experience I have with one specific person.And I am "experienced in sex".My husband and I aren't really good at just "making enchiladas" .

Conversely someone who continues over there lifetime to sleep with different people doesn't mean they might not suck in bed. Someone who sleeps with 500 ,1000 people wont change a thing as far as being a "master" in bed if they are a selfish non generous lover with no imagination and limited sexual expression .

Sexual "experience" does not REQUIRE or have to include more than one partner.That's just having experienced sex with more than one partner.No matter how dull,boring and selfish you are when you are experiencing it doesn't make you a 'master".

 

[Sha'irullah]

Why must reduction of the sexual obsession that some people seem to have be accompanied with encouragement of celibacy? It doesn't seem to me that replacing one extreme thing with another would be a solution to anything.

I am not saying to replace sexual obsession. I am just saying that it is better to promote celibacy as an equally masculine alternative. Celibacy is heavily frowned upon now in America . It is viewed as outdated and is treated as an assault on masculinity for some reason. The common thought is that men should be overly sexual beasts with no common sense or restraint.

I am clueless as to how this concept came about but this primarily became abundant with the increased fall of Christianity and secular promotion.

 

[Sunstone]

Seriously? I'm starting to resent such comments even though i haven't only been with one person but my experience with others is a drop in the bucket over my lifetime considering the experience I have with one specific person.And I am "experienced in sex".My husband and I aren't really good at just "making enchiladas" .

Conversely someone who continues over there lifetime to sleep with different people doesn't mean they might not suck in bed. Someone who sleeps with 500 ,1000 people wont change a thing as far as being a "master" in bed if they are a selfish non generous lover with no imagination and limited sexual expression .

Sexual "experience" does not REQUIRE or have to include more than one partner.That's just having experienced sex with more than one partner.No matter how dull,boring and selfish you are when you are experiencing it doesn't make you a 'master".

While I agree that experience with multiple partners does not necessarily make you a master, and further agree that someone with experience of only one partner can have a dynamite sex life, I think experience with multiple partners can provide you with valuable lessons and enhanced skills, resulting in your becoming a better lover. As with every other thing in life, there's no guarantee that it will, but it can and does help some people. At least, that's been my experience.

Some years ago, I had a friend who was OK in bed, but nothing spectacular. We stopped seeing each other for a few years. When we got back together again, she had had four or five partners in the meantime, and she had learned enough to blow my socks off.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

While I agree that experience with multiple partners does not necessarily make you a master, and further agree that someone with experience of only one partner can have a dynamite sex life, I think experience with multiple partners can provide you with valuable lessons and enhanced skills, resulting in your becoming a better lover. As with every other thing in life, there's no guarantee that it will, but it can and does help some people. At least, that's been my experience.

Perhaps. It's been like that for me in my own experience, as well. I know one thing is for sure: having sex with multiple partners doesn't make you ugly. That is, unless, ugliness is defined by standards of an idealized purity.

 

[moodys]

Study finds that those who engage is casual sex are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety than those who do not.

 

[Sunstone]

That is, unless, ugliness is defined by standards of an idealized purity.

One can either make love to a particular woman, or make love to an ideal. If one makes love to an ideal, one is all but committing an act of masturbation, because the only real person involved in it, so far as one is concerned, is oneself.

 

[DallasApple]

I think experience with multiple partners can provide you with valuable lessons and enhanced skills, resulting in your becoming a better lover. As with every other thing in life, there's no guarantee that it will, but it can and does help some people.

right I agree in "some people" .But in some people even with that experience they aren't as good a lovers as some people who have only been with one person.

IOW you can take "a" person who has only been with one person in the past 15 years who can BLOW the sox off "a " person who has been with 100 different people in the past 15 years.

Also I give much merit to just having chemistry to begin with.Then add in bond AND experience that's a "threesome" LOL!!!

 

[Sunstone]

Study finds that those who engage is casual sex are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety than those who do not.

First, a correlation does not prove causation.

Second, one study does not a law of nature make.

Third, there is a study that suggests women's happiness increases after divorce. Suppose that study were collaborated by several other studies: Would that mean women should never get married, or having gotten married, should divorce?

Fourth, even if the study is accurate, that does not mean that all women who engage in casual sex will suffer from depression and anxiety. For some, casual sex might have the opposite effect. What's right for some people is not necessarily right for all people.