atheist dating a christian

[KarlVonMox]

I'd like some perspective from the users of this board on something I've been thinking about. Its possible others have dealt with a similar issue, and if so please share it.

Briefly-
I've recently met a girl (2-3 months ago) who I've developed a really nice relationship with. Communication is good and perspectives are similar on a lot of things. The only potential problem is that she is religious, churchgoing, and Catholic. She maintains that religion has gotten her through tough times in her life. I am an atheist, and I always have been. I used to be a lot more militant than I am now, with a more live-and-let-live sortoff attitude (as long as my civil rights are intact and Im not discriminated against). But personally I think the concept of faith is vacuous and unnecessary.

So, do such relationships work? How often? Has anyone dealt with a similar situation before?

discuss!

 

[T-Dawg]

I couldn't possibly see such a relationship working (but keep in mind that this is coming from someone who hasn't gotten ANY relationship working ).

Religion, being simultaneously the point of life and the most inhumane propagnada tool, is frequently a dealbreaker. Actually, it's a surprise that a devout Catholic is willing to date an atheist at all, knowing how Catholics (and many Christians) are. Does she not know that you are an atheist? If not, you may want to tell her. She may very well run out of the room screaming that Satan sent you to tempt her, but better now than later, when the relationship is stronger and harder to break without breaking both your hearts in the process.

 

[Smoke]

My husband is a Christian, but of the "me and Jesus got our own thing going" variety. He rarely goes to church and doesn't usually ask me to accompany him on the rare occasions when he does.

I'd have a problem with a pious Catholic, but then I'm gay. I just don't understand gay Catholics (or gay Republicans).

 

[KarlVonMox]

oh yes she knows Im an atheist. And we've talked about religion before a few times in pretty civil manner. Doesnt stop her from wanting to go out with me.

 

[monta]

I'm curious how are all catholics and some christians TAL.

On the op , if it doesn't bother her , why should it bother you ?

 

[Dunemeister]

These relationships generally work out long term if one of the partners converts; 90% of the time, it's the religious person who compromises (that number taken from my personal counselling experience, not from any sociological study).

 

[Madhuri]

I've known these kinds of relationships to work out but usually because both partners are respectful and fairly liberal thinkers. I'm a Hindu and I've been with my atheist boyfriend since early last year and we're going strong. We have discussed our beliefs extensively but so far we have been compatible. You'll just have to get to know her more and see how you both deal with each other's beliefs. Just know that a relationship of this kind is possible.

 

[Kathryn]

I would encourage this nice Catholic girl to break things off with you romantically. Why should she hook up with someone who does not share the faith that she places such importance on? For a person of strong religious convictions, that faith is an integral part of "who they are," and the basis for their decisions, life choices, plans, opinions, and actions - even actions that go against that belief system are held to the standard OF that belief system.

If you don't share such a basic element, one of you is going to have to compromise your values. Why go into a relationship that is going to require such an undermining of personal values over the long haul?

It's like a fault line running through your relationship. It is always going to be there, and just when you need your ground to be the most stable (life crises), the ground is liable to give way.

 

[freethinker44]

If religion is really important to her and atheism is really important to you, then eventually, after the hormones and courtship or possibly later in your life together, one of you will have to change.

Think about this, if you have children will they be catholic or atheist? Or maybe they can go to church with her and when they get home you can tell them about all the lies they were told by their mother and priest.

If religion is not important to her now, it very well may be in the future, and the same goes for your atheism, I was pretty "militant" about atheism when I first "converted", but then I kind of gave up and took on the live and let live attitude you have, but in recent years my beliefs have become really important to me for some reason and so a relationship with someone religious would be nearly impossible for me.

 

[Kerr]

If you like her and she likes you, go for it. If it does not work it does not work, if it does work it may lead to something wonderful. But you won´t find out unless you actually try.

 

[T-Dawg]

I'm curious how are all catholics and some christians TAL.

I've always gotten the impression that rituals, exclusiveness, hostility towards those of differing beliefs, and fundamentalism were inherently part of being Catholic. I'm sure there's exceptions, but I've yet to see a moderate Catholic.
Christians, on the other hand, can be more flexible, although most choose not to be.

 

[Kerr]

I've always gotten the impression that rituals, exclusiveness, hostility towards those of differing beliefs, and fundamentalism were inherently part of being Catholic. I'm sure there's exceptions, but I've yet to see a moderate Catholic.
Christians, on the other hand, can be more flexible, although most choose not to be.

Catholics are Christians as much as protestants are .

 

[The Neo Nerd]

I once dated a christian. She didn't really care that i didn't believe in god.

We were having sex, i guess she wasn't a very good christian. But we discussed religion and we each showed respect for each others beliefs. She never asked me to go to church with her and i never tried to interfere with her church activities.

We were only together for 6 months but i can say that while we were together religion was not an issue. It may have been in the future though.

-Q

 

[T-Dawg]

Catholics are Christians as much as protestants are .

Actually, most catholics (and christians) I've met insist that they'e separate =/.

 

[zenzero]

Friend KVM,

atheist dating a christian

Dharma means a WAY of life.
The way you live is your way and the way your girlfriend lives, is her way.
There is no objective of life as such but we live the way we live to be comfortable with our own *self*. Each individual has his/her own way to do so.
Relationship grows only when we respect each others ways and give enough room to that individual to be comfortable in his/her own way.

If that be so; then see no problem arising NOW or anytime.

Love & rgds

 

[Dena]

When I met my husband eight years ago I was a Christian and he was an atheist. It bothered me but I continued the relationship and obviously married him. Today I am no longer a Christian but I am still religious. He is still an atheist. It is difficult because I've gone through some difficult things that he could not really understand. However, because he's an atheist it also means he never judged me or told me I was going to burn in hell forever because I rejected Jesus. I would like it if we could share this journey, I really would. It can be difficult to be the believer in the relationship and to have the person you love not share in something that is extremely important to you. So, honestly, my concern would be more for her. At this time in her life she may not care but there may come a day where she does. It's not to say these relationships can't work. They can. Absolutely.

 

[zenzero]

Friend Dena,

They can. Absolutely.

EXACTLY! It all depends on that *YOU*.

Love & rgds

 

[sandandfoam]

EXACTLY! It all depends on that *YOU*.

Love & rgds

I third that.
I've been with my wife 18years now. She an atheist from the beginning. I was a Christian at the start, an atheist for a while and now just a theist of a yet to be determined hue after flicking through several attempts at organised religion.
We've had a family and religion has never been a problem. It never is unless you choose to make it one.

 

[Aquitaine]

She's Catholic?

Okay well, if you both can't sit through an episode of Father Ted and both leave in hysterical laughter, then get rid of her.



Just kidding (of course LOL)!

Nah bt srsly, You two may have different beliefs but you're both still Human at the end of the day, and you both seem to like oneanother, so meh, go for it. Religion will only be a problem if either of you two let it become one, that's all.

Best of luck with it

 

[Kerr]

Actually, most catholics (and christians) I've met insist that they'e separate =/.

It has always seemed to be more like two flavors of the same thing to me.