Would you rather be what someone needs or what someone wants?
Why?
Why?
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Would You Rather?
- Thread starter SalixIncendium
- Start date
Definitely "need" (of the two available options).
"Want" I tend to identify with mutable craving and desire: very much a kind of ephemeral and insubstantial thing to me, whereas "need" is about whatever would really benefit and edify a person, which is to say actually give them a sense of lasting fulfilment rather than just satiate a passing 'want'.
"Want" I tend to identify with mutable craving and desire: very much a kind of ephemeral and insubstantial thing to me, whereas "need" is about whatever would really benefit and edify a person, which is to say actually give them a sense of lasting fulfilment rather than just satiate a passing 'want'.
Needs are great, but no one cares that much about a need until they can't fulfill it. Wants are dreams, ambitions, goals. If you want to be ordinary in someone's mind, be a need of theirs. If you want to be extraordinary, be a want.
Here's an example. We all need water. But no one except a thirsting person lies awake and night fantasizing about another sip of water. On the other hand, even those of us who do not play the lottery sometimes fantasize about winning it -- even those of us who do not need the money. So suppose someone had a choice between being $100 worth of water or a $100 winning lottery ticket. Want to be treated like water? Be a need. Want to be treated like a winning lottery ticket? Be a want.
Here's an example. We all need water. But no one except a thirsting person lies awake and night fantasizing about another sip of water. On the other hand, even those of us who do not play the lottery sometimes fantasize about winning it -- even those of us who do not need the money. So suppose someone had a choice between being $100 worth of water or a $100 winning lottery ticket. Want to be treated like water? Be a need. Want to be treated like a winning lottery ticket? Be a want.
Wants, definitely. Wanting is incitement to action -- to find ways to satisfy those desires. I want to know everything, so I read everything. I want to have enough money to live, so I try to ensure that. I don't want to have all the money in the world, so I don't bother with that.
Needing can be tough, and there may be no way to satisfy those needs -- or the way to satisfy them may contravene laws or other societal strictures. Jean Valjean, in Hugo's Les Miserables, steals bread to feed a starving child and that gets him committed to prison in exile. People in need often depend on the good will of others, and that good will may not always be there -- or may require that they agree to things that they would rather not -- things like accepting food, but being required to say a Christian grace to get it.
Needing can be tough, and there may be no way to satisfy those needs -- or the way to satisfy them may contravene laws or other societal strictures. Jean Valjean, in Hugo's Les Miserables, steals bread to feed a starving child and that gets him committed to prison in exile. People in need often depend on the good will of others, and that good will may not always be there -- or may require that they agree to things that they would rather not -- things like accepting food, but being required to say a Christian grace to get it.
Agreed but if you truly "need" something and feel the need of it, I think that can be an exceptionally strong basis for positive action.
As in "you really need to lift yourself up by your bootstraps now by getting a good education / apprenticeship and stop playing around".
I guess, judging by my own interpretation of what the OP is saying, I would rather be someone's friend in "need" and orienting their thought-pattern towards what will be most needful to their wellbeing / happiness than saying, "just satisfy those wants indiscriminately".
What is "needful" could - and I would say very often does - include the satisfaction of at least some "wants" if those happen to be both realisable and make for a wise or prudent life choice but also the abandonment of others that may be desirable but may not necessarily be "needful". That calls for discernment, of course, and every person has to figure that out for themselves.
I also tend to think that discriminating between one's needs and wants is an important part of getting one's priorities in order.
Like, thinking of it in terms of the personal now - rather than the interpersonal as with the OP's question - I may not always "want" to get out of bed in the morning to start work but I certainly "need" to do so if I'm going to retain a roof over my head and enjoy my life.
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Nobody truly needs me, and I doubt if anyone wants me much.
The closest thing I came to being needed was when the 5 kids were young, and Boss was a full time Mom. They didn't truly need me, but it was close. Life would have changed for them without me. So being needed brings great responsibility. It will make a man out of a boy PDQ if you're up for it.
Being wanted ... well that's mostly just an ego trip. I remember hearing through the grape vine that certain students or their parents had put in teacher requests to the principal to have me as a teacher. I suppose that's a lot better than an anti-request, which I also got.
So I'll opt for being needed over being wanted.
osgart
Nothing my eye, Something for sure
Isn't to be of need to be of use to someone.
And to be wanted could be just a mere whim.
I choose neither!
I would rather help someone who finds worth in me as a human being, no matter the need or want.
However I will help people in need being treated fairly. Help for help's sake and no other reason is good. I don't have to be a need or want.
And to be wanted could be just a mere whim.
I choose neither!
I would rather help someone who finds worth in me as a human being, no matter the need or want.
However I will help people in need being treated fairly. Help for help's sake and no other reason is good. I don't have to be a need or want.
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
I've given up trying to be a superhero who has everything people need and want.
When asking myself this question, I'd also ask myself, do they have what I need or want assuming I'll have what they need or want?
But if yes...
I'd rather be what someone wants because it involves more of a choice. Being needed sounds like something psychological where that person has developed an irrational attachment to you.
amorphous_constellation
Well-Known Member
I think that maybe the former is more self-concerned . Become what is needed, but only is needed if it is wanted
Wants or desires.
I have 2 reasons. 1 its easier 2 it respects them
I have 2 reasons. 1 its easier 2 it respects them
Jedster
Well-Known Member
very f ̶a̶ unny
Both?
Then why, oh why, do I come lie on your couch each week??
