Why Can't You Just Be Nice?

[dybmh]

seat at the table

Respectful Question: Which table is this? RF? Or a hypothetical school board meeting?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Respectful Question: Which table is this? RF? Or a hypothetical school board meeting?

It varies by context.

On RF, I wouldn't try to disrupt with a conversation (unless it violates the rules, and then I just report it), but there are conversations I deliberately choose not to engage in out of a hope that lack of attention will help cause the thread to die from lack of interest.

 

[halbhh]

In the heat of debate, why do some of you feel the need to behave like a jerk or be disrespectful to get your point across?

I've been in heated debates, while I occasionally resort to sarcasm or snark either to get my point across or to inject humor, I do my best to maintain a level of respect for the person with which I'm engaged.

I wonder why others here struggle to do the same. Would you walk up to someone on the street and speak with someone the way you do here? I'm sure some of you would have your bell rung for the lack of respect you display here if you displayed such in real life.

Is it because you have a degree of anonymity here?

Does behaving like a jerk to others somehow make you feel better about yourself?

Each time i laboriously learned the thesis ideas and information of posters that were insulting, they turned out to have blunders and easy to find errors. After a dozen or so such, 100% having simple errors, I realized that each time a person is insulting, their ideas don't hold up.

Perhaps being insulting is their way to avoid in depth discussion.

But what would help them?

Now, I tend to avoid even challenging their ideas after 1 or 2 posts, if I notice the pattern, but try to help them feel loved. Since that may help free them, which could help them to progress.

In other words, kindness is the best answer to a troll. Not that it always occurs to me quickly. But sometimes.

 

[stvdv]

I've already dissed his analogy....let's not over-do it.
But we all have our tweezers.

Why you dissed my analogy?

 

[Revoltingest]

Why you dissed my analogy?

Well, not really dissed....but I exploited it with the tweezer change.

 

[Stevicus]

Respectful Question: Which table is this? RF? Or a hypothetical school board meeting?

If it was RF, they'd probably still be arguing over what shape the table should be.

 

[Jim]

I see people openly admitting in this thread that they use personal attacks as a way of trying to discredit other people’s views, in violation of forum rules.

 

[stvdv]

Well, not really dissed....but I exploited it with the tweezer change.

I see.

 

[Quagmire]

Pffff, I give the world the Me it deserves.

 

[Thief]

Awareness.

Awareness of how one’s behavior:

• can potentially impact another.
• can potentially impact oneself.
• can potentially impact productivity of a discussion or debate.
• appears to others who see it.

impact is the word

discussion evolves into change
as you have said

change is typically hurtful

some part of you must die....that you change

listen to me.....and it's going to hurt

 

[Darkforbid]

I see people openly admitting in this thread that they use personal attacks as a way of trying to discredit other people’s views, in violation of forum rules.

And? We're supposed scan through 152 comments. Because you're unable to give the post numbers!

 

[columbus]

I boast at having no warnings on my record

I'm getting close to my 50th warning. 49, at the moment.

You're a staff person with "experience".
How could I make it special?

Should I wait until my current infraction points expire, then post something spectacular? Or something a little more low key? Like an upkilt pic from a website in Michigan?
Tom

 

[Revoltingest]

I'm getting close to my 50th warning. 49, at the moment.

You're a staff person with "experience".
How could I make it special?

Should I wait until my current infraction points expire, then post something spectacular? Or something a little more low key? Like an upkilt pic from a website in Michigan?
Tom

He boasts of having no warnings.
What cop is ever cited for a speeding patrol car?

 

[Darkforbid]

He boasts of having no warnings.
What cop is ever cited for a speeding patrol car?

Only the black ones

 

[Jainarayan]

Is it because you have a degree of anonymity here?

Does behaving like a jerk to others somehow make you feel better about yourself?

I freely admit yes. At least for the past. I have had serious anger and rage issues for which I am medicated. I've gotten more than a few temp bans on other sites for being not nice.

I do a lot of tongue-biting now, deep breath-taking and teeth-clenching.

 

[columbus]

Only the black ones

I don't know where you live,
But around here a white cop can wreck their police cruiser, causing fatalities, not get breathalyzed, and not go to jail until their next DUI.
This is Indiana, Marion County to be more exact.
Tom

 

[Darkforbid]

I don't know where you live,
But around here a white cop can wreck their police cruiser, causing fatalities, not get breathalyzed, and not go to jail until their next DUI.
This is Indiana, Marion County to be more exact.
Tom

It was a joke about racism in the police

 

[columbus]

It was a joke about racism in the police

I'm better at snarky jokes and sarcasm.
If you want a primer, feel free to beg....
Tom

 

[Brickjectivity]

I'm getting close to my 50th warning. 49, at the moment.

You're a staff person with "experience".
How could I make it special?

Should I wait until my current infraction points expire, then post something spectacular? Or something a little more low key? Like an upkilt pic from a website in Michigan?
Tom

You're too late. I'm already leaving staff. I'm just waiting for somebody to flip the switch to turn off the blue nameplate. As of today I'm not even actively moderating. I don't know maybe I'll do a couple of things, but I'm a lame duck mod at this moment.

 

[MonkeyFire]

Because you dont believe.