This is so true. Honestly, I've been fat my entire life, but I've never had a shortage of attention from men (or women, for that mattter). Attitude goes a long way; and the rest is looking for like-minded individuals, people who like you for you, and not your dress size.
I'm so glad you chimed in, Nanda, about your experiences with perceptions of beauty. I thought for years as a kid that the only way to be considered beautiful was to be tall and rail thin - I used to blame the ballet industry for espousing that impossible standard and for my sheep-like mentality considering my eating habits and self-image. I'm under five feet tall with short arms and crazy-tiny hands. I
used to think that people wouldn't think of me as an adult and would just pat my head like a little girl. Like you said, attitude does certainly go a long way.
I'd said in another thread that I've witnessed women, who by conventional standards, would be considered some of the ugliest women on the planet and yet have walked into a crowded room looking more radiant, dynamic, and
gorgeous than any other woman there. If anyone still doesn't believe me, ever seen an actual profile image of Cleopatra? Immortalized in history as one heck of a seductress of powerful men - as well as carving out her own niche in politics - and also possessed a big honkin' hook-nose.
And she's not the only one, either. Mae West didn't become famous until after she turned 40, when her age would conventionally dictate that she be washed up and when we thought (and still think in come circles) that youthfulness defines beauty. There have been senior sirens, "ugly" seductresses (Wallis Simpson wasn't "all that" in her pics), and women with superior intellects - smarter than their male counterparts - who have captivated millions throughout history.
So, you know, I just sooooo wish that more women knew and realized that the "it" girls of today will be gone tomorrow, and that this is all the result of a media circus to keep us talking. Men looking for beauty in women will nearly
always devote more time and energy in women who are autonomous, conversational, and charismatic. When our oldest son started dating his girlfriend, he kept mentioning how much in love he is with her. So when we met her, we weren't surprised. She is ambitious, a voracious reader, an activist for gay marraige rights, and makes us all laugh up a storm. Did I mention that she is quite overweight? It's an afterthought. Because I think our son has a real catch. She's beautiful. :yes: :yes: :yes:
My husband said that it isn't my hair or my figure per se that made him want to worship the ground I walk on, but my confidence. He tells me that he just really loves the way I carry myself. And it's those qualities that we continue to try to teach our kids as they get older. I keep telling our daughter:
speak your mind and flaunt your stuff, and that your "stuff" is what YOU decide it to be, and no one else. So far, so good. I have yet to hear her at 11 question whether or not she's pretty enough, or thin enough, or smart enough, or anything enough. I know she still has a ways to go, but it's definitely a good start. :angel2:
Can you tell I have a lot to say about the subject of women's beauty and our self-image? LOL
