Which is Superior

[Nakosis]

This is a perfect question because it is related to y very strict belief that The Bible says, "love is not provoked", which they have changed to love is not provoked. And, isn't it funny that I am alone voting that way?

And, I wrote love is not offended at first up above (love is not provoked), but I changed it because that is what is written. And isn't it funny that most everyone in the whole wide world (except me, of course) believes that not being offended (provoked) is better than not offending (provoking)?

I will die believing the God says, "love does not provoke (ie offend)".







Can you hear me now?

I think I would worry about love/compassion being taken advantage of. Kind of end up being the doormat.

I hear what you are saying, reminds me of the Quakers. It works in the happy ending of a movie, love triumphs over all.

It'd be nice if it worked that way but I see people take advantage of love/compassion. I see well meaning folks being taken advantage of. It's not a world of love, it's a world of competition.

It's a world of self love. Not entirely but the kind of love you are talking about is rare. You've experienced the world, tell me I'm wrong.

Anything close to that is usually reserved for family and a few friends.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Because the truth can often be offensive, I would never want an "ability" to not be offensive, and I would consider it a curse.

Depends on the actual "truth" itself and from the individual perspective.

 

[savagewind]

I hear what you are saying,

I have to comment on that. Lovely, really......to read the rest.....

 

[savagewind]

[QUOTE="Nakosis, post: 5865090, member: 34180"Kind of end up being the doormat.

[/QUOTE]

 

[savagewind]

I think I would worry about love/compassion being taken advantage of. Kind of end up being the doormat.

I hear what you are saying, reminds me of the Quakers. It works in the happy ending of a movie, love triumphs over all.

It'd be nice if it worked that way but I see people take advantage of love/compassion. I see well meaning folks being taken advantage of. It's not a world of love, it's a world of competition.

It's a world of self love. Not entirely but the kind of love you are talking about is rare. You've experienced the world, tell me I'm wrong.

Anything close to that is usually reserved for family and a few friends.

The teacher shall give you an A. Like, you are right.

 

[savagewind]

I do know how to be a doormat. It isn't as bad as it seems.

 

[savagewind]

Do you want to know funny? Be a doormat.

 

[Nakosis]

If you "have the ability to not offend" you are a real Master, I mean you offend nobody; you must be "pure Love"
And as a result of being such a "perfect one", obviously you will not be offended yourself.

So it is very clear to better have the first one, because automatically it implies you have the second one

The other one "you never feel offended" ... being a `good` narcissists or sociopath will do

Maybe I'm a sociopath, I've wondered sometimes. I've worked hard at not being offended, because being offended usually triggers anger and an angry response. You feel hurt, you want to hurt back.

Since I don't want to intentionally hurt someone I don't allow myself to get offended. I can deal with a person who tries to offend me equally with those that don't.

So I can act without preference or disfavor.

If you can act from pure love then hey, you are a better person than me. I really don't see much of that from anybody.

 

[savagewind]

Maybe I'm a sociopath, I've wondered sometimes. I've worked hard at not being offended, because being offended usually triggers anger and an angry response. You feel hurt, you want to hurt back.

Since I don't want to intentionally hurt someone I don't allow myself to get offended. I can deal with a person who tries to offend me equally with those that don't.

So I can act without preference or disfavor.

If you can act from pure love then hey, you are a better person than me. I really don't see much of that from anybody.

Nothing on this Earth is pure love so many you might relax a bit.

 

[Nakosis]

I do know how to be a doormat. It isn't as bad as it seems.

I would not treat anyone as a doormat. Folks treating other as a doormat offends me.

Ok, not perfect in being unoffended.

The thought of anyone being treated as a doormat makes me feel sad.

I suppose that is part of it. If you can't be offended, you can't really be treated as a doormat.

 

[savagewind]

I would not treat anyone as a doormat. Folks treating other as a doormat offends me.

Ok, not perfect in being unoffended.

The thought of anyone being treated as a doormat makes me feel sad.

I suppose that is part of it. If you can't be offended, you can't really be treated as a doormat.

But, what if I am a doormat?

 

[Nakosis]

Nothing on this Earth is pure love so many you might relax a bit.

Still I can imagine what it might be like.

 

[Nakosis]

But, what if I am a doormat?

Think You're "Too Nice"? 6 Signs You're Actually A Doormat

https://medium.com/@mzkagan/how-to-stop-being-a-doormat-start-living-like-a-******-a5ba24ded66d

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Depends on the actual "truth" itself and from the individual perspective.

Facts are facts and they are not subject to "individual perspective." We call those opinions.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Facts are facts and they are not subject to "individual perspective." We call those opinions.

Facts are facts but there are individual truths as well that are from the perspective of individuals.

 

[Jollybear]

Ive noticed within myself anytime i got offended it was always due to completely not understanding the other person one inkling bit. Like, this person must be from planet mars or somethin.

And then i usually offend them by responding to my not understanding them, in anger.

 

[Revoltingest]

How to not be offended on RF....
Recognize that those who would abuse us
are merely demonstrating their own shortcomings.

Of course, it's still useful to avoid such people.

 

[savagewind]

Ive noticed within myself anytime i got offended it was always due to completely not understanding the other person one inkling bit. Like, this person must be from planet mars or somethin.

And then i usually offend them by responding to my not understanding them, in anger.

You usually respond to them in anger? Like, angry?

 

[Quagmire]

Ive noticed within myself anytime i got offended it was always due to completely not understanding the other person one inkling bit. Like, this person must be from planet mars or somethin.

And then i usually offend them by responding to my not understanding them, in anger.

That's a really good lesson to remember, and thanks for reminding me, Jollybear, although I know I'm going to forget again.

A cpl times life tried to teach me this one:

--- I once screamed at, threatened, and then shoved a deaf guy for not getting out of my way (didn't know he was deaf, thought he was just messing with me).
--- one time I was sitting on my motorcycle outside of a gas station, when I noticed this big guy grinning at me and for some reason took it as derision, so I flipped him off (was really surprised by the hurt look on his face). When I went inside to pay, I heard the big guy talk and realized he was mentally disabled, and that for all practical purposes I had just flipped off a 6 year old.


What this taught me:

--- better to let a jerk get away with being a jerk than to inadvertently offend someone who doesn't deserve it.
--- if someone is being a jerk, well, I guess you can consider being a jerk a disabliltiy so maybe those people deserve some slack too.
--- like you said: more times than not I'm misunderstanding the person or situation, so letting anger be the default reaction is pointless.

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
----Hanlon's razor

Like I said: life has tried to teach me this countless times and hopefully someday it will stick.

 

[stvdv]

Maybe I'm a sociopath, I've wondered sometimes. I've worked hard at not being offended, because being offended usually triggers anger and an angry response. You feel hurt, you want to hurt back

I worked also hard to not being offended. Resulted in suppressing my feelings. I was so good in that that I did not feel anything anymore. Did not feel good, but of course I could not feel that. Took a long time to undo this habit for me. Now I use a different approach. Someone who offends me, I tell them nicely "you offend me". If no sorry then no contact anymore. I see no fun in contacting people without respect. I Let offenders offend offenders.

Since I don't want to intentionally hurt someone I don't allow myself to get offended. I can deal with a person who tries to offend me equally with those that don't.

Then you are not a narcissist nor sociopath. They take delight in hurting others and make others hurt. Most were hurt too much by their father or mother and never learned or could say NO to them, so now they act it out on others.

If you can act from pure love then hey, you are a better person than me. I really don't see much of that from anybody.

I was lucky to meet my Master. He is pure Love. I never said I can act like that. I just answered the question "the first one is the best". I still work every day to improve myself.