When is anger wrong?

[Sonic247]

So what do think about anger when should it be suppressed? when should it be expressed? I have some problems with anger. Lately I have been listening to sermons on anger to help get some knowledge and perspective on the subject. The most helpful thing I learned was that usually anger that isn't good comes from you expecting something to go a certain way and it doesn't work out. On the other hand the small percentage of anger that is useful is usually caused by something bad happening to someone else not to you. Maybe I have been to idealistic about life. Not that good ideals aren't something to strive for but I guess you can't get upset when reality falls short of your ideals. Well that's my take on it, what about you?

 

[zenzero]

Friend Sonic247,

When is anger wrong?

It is not a question of right and wrong.

One has to realize that it is part of DUALITY and not be part of either.
Love & rgds

 

[Sonic247]

Right because you say duality is an illusion. But in a practical sense I don't think any of those who you would call enlightened would publicly steal from the elderly. And you face situations where you have to make decisions either one way or the other unless you spend your whole life in solitude meditating. You may deny it but you do have a unique identity, you are from the same source (God) as me, yet you are an individual entity. The unity that should be sought after is the unity of fellowship. Everything is connected but everything isn't the same. Like you have one body but your ear cannot see and your eye cannot hear; they are linked together but still unique.

 

[Draka]

There's different kinds of anger. There's petty anger, which serves no good purpose. There's righteous anger, which is getting angered at an unjust or unfair situation or person, which can be a good thing because it fuels action to right the wrong. There's harbored anger, which can be very bad in the long run, because suppressed anger has a way of bubbling up at the wrong time no matter how it started. There's so many different forms of anger, I don't think one can classify that emotion as good or bad alone. Like most things, it's about context.

 

[ericoh2]

So what do think about anger when should it be suppressed? when should it be expressed? I have some problems with anger. Lately I have been listening to sermons on anger to help get some knowledge and perspective on the subject. The most helpful thing I learned was that usually anger that isn't good comes from you expecting something to go a certain way and it doesn't work out. On the other hand the small percentage of anger that is useful is usually caused by something bad happening to someone else not to you. Maybe I have been to idealistic about life. Not that good ideals aren't something to strive for but I guess you can't get upset when reality falls short of your ideals. Well that's my take on it, what about you?

One thing I can say from my experiences is that you should never try to suppress anger. Anger is a form of energy and it must find an outlet one way or another. So a good place to start is practice watching your anger when it arises. Do not suppress the anger but do not act on it either. Try to simply witness the energy. If you become sensitive enough to anger, you will eventually be able to transform it into a positive energy. While you practice this technique also try to observe the motivations of these feelings. More often than not human anger is the result of selfish desire, as you stated in your post. This is based on a false idea of reality. Anger in its pure form is a condensed form of compassion. A good example is when Jesus lashed out at the money changers. Jesus knew how harmful these practices are to our development so the anger shown by him in this situation was of compassion. Hope this helps .

 

[Sonic247]

Another thing I was thinking about was how physical condition effects emotion. It is easy to be peaceful when you are free from aches and pains, when you are not hungry or thirsty or tired etc. Because we are psychosomatic and the mind and body interact like that. But if you can be calm when you are in a horrible/irritable condition physically then you really have inner strength. Also I think it's about perspective, most of the time our anger would seem foolish if seen from the right perspective. I think God was trying to get Jonah to realize this when he said "doest thou well to be angry." One of the best things to do with anger is probably to evaluate it.

 

[ChristineES]

It isn't necessarily anger that is wrong, but what you do with it. Sometimes anger can be a good thing- it can cause a change. For example, a man in a wheel chair is angry because there is not ramp to get into a building he needs to get into, he can make measures to make sure there is a ramp made. Anger can also be used for something bad, such as beating someone for cutting you off in traffic (road rage). If you just growl or something that same anger is harmless.

 

[kai]

you know i think anger is something that alters your perspective ,however fleetingly ,you lose control.

 

[Sonic247]

That road rage thing made me think of something else that is a big factor in determining whether anger is justified or not. They say if you get angry very quickly or right away then it usually isn't worth it.

 

[Sonic247]

you know i think anger is something that alters your perspective ,however fleetingly ,you lose control.

Yeah I think that's usually true.

 

[kai]

Yeah I think that's usually true.

its kind of like being drunk for a moment and then sobering up.

 

[Sonic247]

Yea that fits.

 

[zenzero]

Friend Sonic247,

On the subject of *anger*.
how does anger develop?
your analysis?
Love & rgds

 

[ranjana]

Generally I find anger to be of little service, it just keeps one bound to the isolated individual existence that feels it is being threatened. Yet there is nothing that can actually diminish you, or divide you, only your own mind.

Yet I cant dismiss anger altogether, because we do live in a physical world, which to me is a paradox of real vs unreal (but thats another story). basically, anger can be a clue that an action should be taken, or one's course should be altered. It is just a nudge toward awareness really. but usually we humans hold on to it and go nuts.

 

[Riverwolf]

Anger at something uncontrollable is worthless. Anger at something controllable is worthless.

HOWEVER, anger can be used to make the uncontrollable controllable. Anger, channeled to a purpose, can fuel determination and ambition.

For example, it is more or less out of my control what happens to me if someone attacks me. But, fueled by anger, I can fight him or her off well, so long as the anger does not take control of me.

 

[3.14]

anger is wrong when 10 deep breaths of air can't release you from it

 

[CarlinKnew]

When is anger wrong?

When it's supported by religious belief.

 

[Storm]

So what do think about anger when should it be suppressed? when should it be expressed? I have some problems with anger. Lately I have been listening to sermons on anger to help get some knowledge and perspective on the subject. The most helpful thing I learned was that usually anger that isn't good comes from you expecting something to go a certain way and it doesn't work out. On the other hand the small percentage of anger that is useful is usually caused by something bad happening to someone else not to you. Maybe I have been to idealistic about life. Not that good ideals aren't something to strive for but I guess you can't get upset when reality falls short of your ideals. Well that's my take on it, what about you?

There's no hard and fast rule. Sometimes it's justified, sometimes not so, but still understandable, and sometimes it's just ridiculous. You've got to judge each instance on its own.

I have anger issues, too. As I've said elsewhere, I have PTSD, though it's largely under control now. As you may or may not know, that generally manifests in one of two ways: irrational fear or irrational anger. I go the anger route. It used to be, someone would do something completely innocuous, and I'd get furious at them because it triggered a memory. Took me a long time to figure that out.

I also never learned to express anger in a healthy way. Most of the time, I just get nasty verbally, but on the rare occasion that I lose my temper, I get really violent. I just have to hit SOMETHING. I've never gone so far as to hit a person, but I want to, so I'll punch walls and break things. I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

 

[YmirGF]

Anger at something uncontrollable is worthless. Anger at something controllable is worthless.

HOWEVER, anger can be used to make the uncontrollable controllable. Anger, channeled to a purpose, can fuel determination and ambition.

For example, it is more or less out of my control what happens to me if someone attacks me. But, fueled by anger, I can fight him or her off well, so long as the anger does not take control of me.

I tend to agree. Anger can indeed be a powerful motivating force. I think those who negate the value of anger are selling themselves short. I am not implying that one should be angry all the time, but rather, when anger hits, understand why and use the raw power behind the anger to fuel constructive change in your life.

 

[Smoke]

I don't know if anger is ever wrong. How we act when we're angry, on the other hand ...

Try observing your anger. When you get angry, observe what's happening. Why are you angry? Not because she always does that. The anger is in you; you have to observe what it is about you that makes you angry. Also, how does the anger affect your body? What does it make you feel like doing? I'm not saying to do it, mind you. Just observe.

The exercise of observing what's really going on drains the moment of some of the raw emotion, and helps you learn to be more rational about handling your anger and even about getting angry in the first place.

Generally speaking, struggling to change yourself and trying to be "good" is frustrating and even counter-productive. Observation and understanding is a better approach.