What's wrong with sex?

[rojse]

...I of course, being the big scary anti-religionistic atheist, had a big rant in front of my TV...

Talking to your television must be a sign of insanity.

 

[Draka]

When I was eight, ATARI was just coming out.

Did you have a Colecovision and a Commodore 64 as well? Those along with my Atari made up our trifecta of entertainment when I was a child. :yes:

 

[Sunstone]

Casual sex is not necessarily meaningless.

 

[Jeremy Mason]

Did you have a Colecovision and a Commodore 64 as well? Those along with my Atari made up our trifecta of entertainment when I was a child. :yes:

No Colecovision, but a Commodore 64 yes.

 

[Buttons*]

Now I know what most of you are thinking, "What about babies? What about STD's?" Well, what about them? I'll bet a hundred bucks your kids have heard and understand the dangers of that stuff. Why? Public schools. They cram all that crap down kids' throughts by like age 10. Why is it that we can teach our kids about AIDS and condoms at age 10, and then forbid them to have sex for almost a whole decade?

I dunno, to me, when a teen feels ready for sex, they are ready. Even if they are not, I am a firm believer in the lessons learned from trial and error. Am I the only one out there that holds this radical, "politically incorrect" view? I would love to hear thoughts and insight on this topic.

I think that telling your kid "No" for no reason is a stupid answer. But I think that if you tell your kids, "You do realize that there are dangers out there, and you will have to handle the consequences for your actions." Then it's fair enough if they go out and do whatever. They can't claim ignorance for it. I think parents should be the first ones to talk with their kids about sex. Not the TV, not public schools.

No, I do think that if bad things happen to sexually irresponsible teens, all I can say to them is, "Well, you knew better, now you must live with the consequences." It's a harsh view, and one that not many people agree with me on. It's the same with drugs : you make your bed, and you should sleep in it.

Not to say that if someone needs help, you shouldn't help, but I believe in personal responsibility and accounting for your own actions.

 

[Buttons*]

Casual sex is not necessarily meaningless.

No, one night stands have always meant quite a lot to me

 

[McBell]

Did you have a Colecovision and a Commodore 64 as well? Those along with my Atari made up our trifecta of entertainment when I was a child. :yes:

I preferred my Fairchild.

 

[science_is_my_god]

There may be some out there that can, but rarely the ones who think they can. Ask most adults who had sex as a teen and thought they were mature enough at the time and they usually say now that they really weren't. Hindsight is 20/20 you know.

Hahaha that's rich. You still say "most adults" and "Usually say."I hope you realize why you can't make a generalization here, because once you do, you will understand what I am basing my arguement on.

Not all teens know how to use protection thanks to public schools that are stuck in the "abstinence only" programs.

Exactly. that's why abstinence has it's flaws. Also, proving my point, that is why sex is something between parents and kids, not a third party such as school or TV.

they ARE minors and still require adult supervision

Minors don't need supervision because they are minors, minors need supervision because 99% of them are reckless. However, I just want people to be aware that there still is that remaining 1% of teens that are legitimently adults, in the sense that they are very matureand resposible. You know, I think kids can be MORE mature than adults sometimes.

it would be irresponsible parenting to give the impression that it's okay to go out and have sex as a kid.

Why? How so? They are going to do it behind my back if they want it bad enough anyway. I'd rather establish open mindedness so that my kids can feel comfortable with me knowing what's going on, that way, if anything gets out of control, I know how to react.

You're 19 and you obviously started having sex at least a couple years ago

Sigh. It's not my fault I'm such a stud.

and now are all offended at the commercial for no logical reason.

Yes I'm offended, but no, it's not illogical. Look at me. I had sex early (age 14, just for the record) and yet:

1. No babies
2. No STD's
3. Only one partner (still my girlfriend 5 years later)
4. No psychological damage (to me OR my girl)
5. No sexed-based relationship (still founded on love; I made it clear even at age 14 sex can wait and she doesn't have to give me some to keep the relationship going.)

Now, you know, I think 5 years together is pretty darn good, considering most marriages don't even last that long anymore.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

...abstinence has it's flaws. Also, proving my point, that is why sex is something between parents and kids...

I knew you atheists were sickos, but I just didn't know how much.

 

[Storm]

Now I know what most of you are thinking, "What about babies? What about STD's?" Well, what about them? I'll bet a hundred bucks your kids have heard and understand the dangers of that stuff. Why? Public schools. They cram all that crap down kids' throughts by like age 10. Why is it that we can teach our kids about AIDS and condoms at age 10, and then forbid them to have sex for almost a whole decade?

Apparently, you had MUCH better sex ed than I did. Mine consisted of "condoms don't work."

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Apparently, you had MUCH better sex ed than I did. Mine consisted of "condoms don't work."

Mine consisted of the typical line-drawing diagrams of the reproductive system and learning the names of each element. And something about nocturnal emissions. It was ever so enlightening.

 

[Storm]

Ever heard of The Education Of Shelby Knox? We went to the same high school.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Ever heard of The Education Of Shelby Knox? We went to the same high school.

Now I have!

 

[DallasApple]

Yes I'm offended, but no, it's not illogical. Look at me. I had sex early (age 14, just for the record) and yet:

1. No babies
2. No STD's
3. Only one partner (still my girlfriend 5 years later)
4. No psychological damage (to me OR my girl)
5. No sexed-based relationship (still founded on love; I made it clear even at age 14 sex can wait and she doesn't have to give me some to keep the relationship going.)

Now, you know, I think 5 years together is pretty darn good, considering most marriages don't even last that long anymore.
__________________

Ya'll sound wonderful..

And also very lucky .

You are beating the odds though.

This :

3. Only one partner (still my girlfriend 5 years later)

Is not within your control.Thats not only your decision..That takes two.and at 14..the odds that both will stay committed long term are not very good.Im assuming she has not had any other partners either durign your relationship.And had she dumped you say at 14 and 1/2(which is a far more likely scenerio at that age) ..you most likely would have found another girl...and so on and so on..

5. No sexed-based relationship (still founded on love; I made it clear even at age 14 sex can wait and she doesn't have to give me some to keep the relationship going.)

This you can only claim if she in fact didnt 'give you any all these years..or if she stopped giving you some now..

4. No psychological damage (to me OR my girl)

This again is not something you "controlled" on your own..If your girlfriend had jerked you around..say ..slept with your best friend..you would have been deeply hurt.(you said your relationship was love based).

Ya''ll lucked out as I say..that you found each other.It sounds as if you are a very good match.Your parents raised ya'll well..but your relationship is "unique.

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Mine consisted of the typical line-drawing diagrams of the reproductive system and learning the names of each element. And something about nocturnal emissions. It was ever so enlightening.

Mine too..

And then my mother gave us the "Encyclopedia of Sex"(for children) (I still have them.they are from the 70's I'll have to get them out for a laugh)...She gave them to us and said nothing..just read these if you want..after she found a "dirty magazine" that my brother found in a parking lot next to a dumpster hidden under his pillow(he was probably 12)..she almost passed out..she told us the pictures were not what "two people that love each other and are married do with each other"

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Apparently, you had MUCH better sex ed than I did. Mine consisted of "condoms don't work."

Its funny you say this..I dont know if I had ever even heard the word "condom" untill after I had a baby..I knew them as "rubbers" ..and I only knew that because thats what the kids called them.

I knew the words ovary and uterus and penis and vagina though..that shoud have been enough.

Love

Dallas

 

[science_is_my_god]

You are beating the odds though.

So what? All that proves is that the odds CAN be beaten and sex CAN be healthy early on.

Is not within your control.Thats not only your decision..That takes two.and at 14..the odds that both will stay committed long term are not very good.Im assuming she has not had any other partners either durign your relationship.And had she dumped you say at 14 and 1/2(which is a far more likely scenerio at that age) ..you most likely would have found another girl...and so on and so on..

Relevance? :sarcastic In case you havn't read Dallas, we ARE still together. The "what ifs?" didn't happen to us, so if we can do it, other teens can. That's all im implying.

This you can only claim if she in fact didnt 'give you any all these years..or if she stopped giving you some now..

You don't find it reasonable to be able to found a relationship on love and authentic compassion, and then have sex later on? Dallas, that is very hurtful. Do you want to know how we met? She suffers from chronic depression, and I was volunteering in a mental health outreach program (my mother is schizophernic, and I wanted to help the community.)I was doing a fund raising thing where we would buy hospitalized mental health patients get well gifts. I went to drop off her gift and I heard crying and crying and crying. She had been raped. I went in and, against my better judgement, offered my condolences. She was so surprised that a complete stranger was willing to sit down and just listen. Ever since that day, she has done a 180 degree recovery. So no, Dallas, our relationship WAS founded on love, and I find any doubt in this to be quite offensive and bigoted, as you are not me nor her.

This again is not something you "controlled" on your own..If your girlfriend had jerked you around..say ..slept with your best friend..you would have been deeply hurt.(you said your relationship was love based).

Sure I would have. But don't forget, I also would have learned a valueable lesson. Sometimes, there is value in experiencing pain and grief. This is life, Dallas, it's not some romantic la-la land where every day is bright and sunny.

Ya''ll lucked out as I say

Ah, so we just got lucky huh? Well I don't believe in luck. We took control of our destiny together, and don't you forget it.

It sounds as if you are a very good match.

Thank you.

Your parents raised ya'll well

Actually, my mom was schizophernic and in and out of institutions. My father was a hopeless, jobless drunk. Like I said, there is value in walking through life by yourself.

but your relationship is "unique.

Maybe one day you'll realize that every relationship is unique...

 

[Jeremy Mason]

I knew you atheists were sickos, but I just didn't know how much.

:biglaugh:

 

[Panda]

Apparently, you had MUCH better sex ed than I did. Mine consisted of "condoms don't work."

Our sex ed went over all the different STDs, symptoms of each etc. Also included at one point learning how to use a condom, by putting a condom on a dildo. Was fairly comprehensive actually.

 

[DallasApple]

So what? All that proves is that the odds CAN be beaten and sex CAN be healthy early on.

Of course the odds can be beat..the odds can be beat with just about anything except we're all going to die..That doesnt mean you use "exceptions" as a teaching method on how to conduct your life.

Thats like telling people to go ahead and smoke ..because some people live to be 110 that smoke all thier life and then die by getting hit by a bus.

Love

Dallas