What would you do if you found out your boyfriend or girlfriend was bisexual?

[Kathryn]

so you are saying that his sexual orientation is part of his personality and who he is as a person and that you like his personality as a heterosexual man?

Yes, absolutely. You hit the nail right on the head.

 

[fallenangel101]

Yes, absolutely. You hit the nail right on the head.

Okay.
It was cool to hear a different point of view on it.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

well personally, i don't like the idea of sharing my boyfriend. so i don't think it would be an idea that i would like.

But you were asking about how I felt. I understand that you and many others would have a problem with Polyamory. Why are you so surprised that some wouldn't? Is the concept really that alien?

 

[Karl R]

What would you do if you found out your boyfriend or girlfriend was bisexual?

He/She still liked you but they also had a slight interest in their same sex.

I've dated a few bisexuals. I don't have an issue with it. Monagamy and fidelity are the same for bisexuals as they are for anyone else.

would you be at all uncomfortable if she started pointing at girls and telling you how hot they were?

One of my bisexual girlfriends would point out girls that she thought were cute and solicit my opinion as well. She had good taste, though I liked a wider range of types than she did.

I never got comfortable with pointing out attractive women to her, though. (Since it's generally a bad idea in most relationships.) It might have happened eventually if the relationship had lasted.

I think that if I was in the situation I would probably do the same thing. But I would make sure that he knew that I thought he was hottest.

As you get older, that's really not necessary. I'm not under any illusion that I'm the hottest man in the world ... or even the hottest man that most of my girlfriends have dated. Likewise, most of the women I date can assume that they're not the hottest woman I've ever dated.

This really isn't an issue. I'm dating the woman for a reason. She's dating me for a reason. We don't need to be told that we're the hottest person in creation just to reassure us that the relationship is important to the other person.

 

[Realist]

I hope I don't spoil any fun thoughts here but I'll speak from a religious perspective. I used to have a bisexual girlfriend myself. I wasn't willing to look at it as a problem unless I seriously thought it conflicted with my religious beliefs. Closest I came to connecting the two and seeing it as a problem was that desiring for the act of same sex behavior is a sin, since Jesus indicated you can sin in your heart too, just by desiring the sinful act. But then she told me she wouldn't desire to be with girls in a sexual way anymore but would probably see one as attractive still. So as complicated as that sounded, we did still find a way to work though that particular issue. We eventually broke up due to some cheating issues (no same-sex acts involved), but I hope this would at least help show how a Christian might think about this.

 

[Kathryn]

Realist, thank you for sharing that perspective.

I had a bisexual boyfriend once. I didn't know it going into the relationship - he shared it with me later. We were both young (about 20 yrs old) at the time. We dated for about a year. Eventually though, we broke up and it WAS largely because of his bisexuality. A former boyfriend kept coming around and pursuing him. In spite of my efforts to put the thought of him with another man out of my head, eventually I began seeing other traits in him that I considered unattractive - and the interfering past boyfriend didn't help matters in the least. Even though he assured me that he wanted only me, I began to feel as if I may not be enough for him over time, simply because I was only a female - something I have no control over. And why deal with that? I mean, I can keep myself attractive, stimulating, and alluring - but I'll always only be a girl.

There was a lot I loved about him as a person, but I'm glad it didn't work out. Now that I am married to a totally heterosexual male, I realize that's the sexual orientation that I MUCH prefer in a mate.

 

[dawny0826]

He/She still liked you but they also had a slight interest in their same sex.

This hasn't happened to me but im curious to see how some people would react.

I dated and lived with a man who was bisexual, possibly homosexual. Bisexuality was a non issue as long as he was faithful to me. He was clearly struggling with coming to terms with his own sexuality. We truly had no business being in a relationship with one another. I was young and trying to fill voids in my life. He wasn't willing to face his own inner demons. He did everything he could to escape the responsibility of taking time to find himself.

It was dishonesty that pushed me away. It was far too painful and I had to leave him. Had he disclosed that he was homosexual and didn't want to be with me, romantically (which I suspected), I would have been open to remaining in his life as a friend.

If my husband divulged that he was either homosexual or bisexual, I'd be willing to hear him out and support him in any way possible, as long as he was honest with me.

 

[Beaudreaux]

He/She still liked you but they also had a slight interest in their same sex.

This hasn't happened to me but im curious to see how some people would react.

Good thread. It's a difficult situation for any man, but I would do my best to be understanding and accomodating. Perhaps we would go out together and notice women we both felt were attractive just to get things out in the open. This would help her feel less uptight about her natural feelings. Then maybe we'd go to a strip club together so she could indulge her curiousity in a healthy way. If necessary to be supportive, I suppose I would allow her to bring another woman into our bed, as often as she needed to. Naturally, I would try to make them BOTH comfortable in that situation so that all feel accepted. When you are selfless and put your partner's needs first, I find that everything works out for the best.

 

[JMorris]

so long as im not cheated on, i wouldnt care. and i have no more reason to belive a bi-sexual person would cheat on me than a straight person

 

[Comicaze247]

He/She still liked you but they also had a slight interest in their same sex.

This hasn't happened to me but im curious to see how some people would react.

The question is, what wouldn't I do? j/k

My girlfriend actually is bi. I have no problem with it. We even have debates over the hotness of other girls And while it's probably every guy's dream to have a threesome, because I favor committed relationships, I wouldn't be able to do it, as fun as it is to think about. But I told her, she can be with another girl if she ever feels the need to . . . as long as I can watch

 

[Sacred Silence]

Well I have had something similar to this happen to me except instead of my boyfriend being bisexual he told me that he is transgendered. And I handled it fine because I love him the way he is and when he becomes a woman I will love her the same as I did before. So in my opinion its not really that big of a deal.

 

[Seven]

What would you do if you found out your boyfriend or girlfriend was bisexual?

Phone a friend

 

[Valjean]

What's the big deal? Sexuality is like any other aesthetic. Some are broad, some narrow.

Some people like only jazz music, or only French impressionist art. Some love the mountains but have no appreciation for the seashore.

Wouldn't life be richer with an appreciation of the whole range of variationn within a given field?
Wouldn't it be more interesting living with a sophisticate than a philistine?

 

[blackout]

Just to note.... Polyamory is not a "bi" thing
anymore than it is a "straight" thing.

There are MANY Poly configurations.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

He/She still liked you but they also had a slight interest in their same sex.

This hasn't happened to me but im curious to see how some people would react.

Enh. If she's straight, then out of her "potential mate pool" of all men, she picked me. If she's bi, then out of her "potential mate pool" of all people male or female, she picked me. Either way, she had lots of people to choose from, and picked me.

If anything, I guess I would be somewhat flattered that I was chosen from a larger group of candidates than I originally thought.

okay. i get that too.
but there are some things guys can do that girls can't and vice versa. so what if your partner wanted something different and you couldn't offer it because of your gender?

There are some things that some guys can do that others can't. There are some things that some girls can do that others can't. Does this mean that straight people want something different from other members of the opposite sex?

I hope I don't spoil any fun thoughts here but I'll speak from a religious perspective. I used to have a bisexual girlfriend myself. I wasn't willing to look at it as a problem unless I seriously thought it conflicted with my religious beliefs. Closest I came to connecting the two and seeing it as a problem was that desiring for the act of same sex behavior is a sin, since Jesus indicated you can sin in your heart too, just by desiring the sinful act. But then she told me she wouldn't desire to be with girls in a sexual way anymore but would probably see one as attractive still. So as complicated as that sounded, we did still find a way to work though that particular issue. We eventually broke up due to some cheating issues (no same-sex acts involved), but I hope this would at least help show how a Christian might think about this.

I wonder why someone would assume that bisexuality would imply cheating thoughts about members of the same sex any more than heterosexuality implies cheating thoughts about members of the opposite sex.

 

[3.14]

call my hot ex girlfriend for a threesome

 

[Guitar's Cry]

I think GC was being sarcastic.

You know me well.

Yeah, I was just highlighting one of the more common stereotypes about bisexual folks.

 

[Nanda]

Man, I WISH my boys were bisexual. And hot for each other. XD

 

[DallasApple]

I wouldnt be happy with that revelation.

I think because I would know I could never be "complete" for him.I could never be everything he needs.Not on a long term basis.I mean ..I can never be a "man" for him..I would feel "inadequate".

Love

Dallas

 

[Green Gaia]

I wouldnt be happy with that revelation.

I think because I would know I could never be "complete" for him.I could never be everything he needs.Not on a long term basis.I mean ..I can never be a "man" for him..I would feel "inadequate".

Love

Dallas

Do you think bisexuals need both a male and female to feel "complete"?