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What Does God Do On His Days Off?

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Revoltingest, Sep 25, 2020.

  1. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest I have the kavorka
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    Assuming he exists, there are many deep spiritual questions....
    - If he has hobbies, what are they?
    - Which is his day off? Certainly not Sunday, which is when he scares worshipers.
    - Did he ever go to school?
    - How did he come to know everything....science? A mentor?
    - What's his favorite color?
    - If he's a singular supreme being, then why is he male?
    - What are his genitalia for? Ew.
    - Who is this "God" person, anyway?

    I'm looking for thoughtful answers to deep questions.
    Enquiring minds must know!
     
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  2. Eyes to See

    Eyes to See Active Member

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    Well only God would know that. I say that tongue in cheek. He has spirit sons that reside in his presence and that he communicates with, so they probably know a lot of what he thinks and does. I guess there was a time when he thought up a universe and then decided to create it.

    If you look around at everything on earth, including the vast variety of life, in the sea, in the air, on the ground, all of the wonderful array of flowers, trees, types of grass.

    Think about this. Before any of it came to be God thought it all up in his imagination and knew how it was all going to work together.

    He probably has the future in mind, while we think about tomorrow, he's thinking of a hundred thousand trillion years from now.
     
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  3. Jaiket

    Jaiket Well-Known Member

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    Probably catches up on the housework, spends some time in the garden and reads the weekly papers. I'm not saying I have insider knowledge, but why would he have created humans to do these things otherwise?
     
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  4. Eyes to See

    Eyes to See Active Member

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    To answer your last question, God doesn't have a gender. He has both the male and female qualities he has endowed in his human creation to perfection. So men display certain qualities of God more, and women display other aspects of God's qualities more. But that doesn't mean God is a man or a woman. He is a spirit.

    We call God the Father because he designated the man as the head of the woman, and created the woman as a compliment for the man. Not that she is any less, but she was put in subjection to the man. Thus, God as the head of all things is rightly called the Father. That is what Jesus called him as well. He told us to pray: Our Father who is in heaven."
     
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  5. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest I have the kavorka
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    So does he have both kinds of genitalia or none at all?
     
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  6. Secret Chief

    Secret Chief Meghalayan Ape

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    Cycling. Gets him away from the wife.

    He asked the wife.

    That's what he asks the wife.

    See previous answer.
     
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  7. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Active Member

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    He comes here to RF, to troll, of course.
     
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  8. mikkel_the_dane

    mikkel_the_dane Shadow Wolf's Aspie sibling

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    Wonder why you call her a him?
     
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  9. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren Always Learning

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    Depends on what deity we talking about...Anytime Loki gets bored he causes trouble...Once he got his lips sewn shut for no reason.
     
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  10. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    If God were either on vacation or not it would imply God had limitations.
    hobbies - all and none
    Sundays God chooses not to exist, so that athiests can watch football or whatever nonsense.
    school - yes and no
    how is a word for pagans With God there is no how.
    favorite color: not created yet
    its the most incomprehensible gender
    they are apparently for screwing with atheists
    Who is but the form following the function of What
     
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  11. Eyes to See

    Eyes to See Active Member

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    So I'm sure you're being tongue in cheek now as well.

    God is a Spirit. You anthropomorphize him so you understand him and that is reasonable. But he is not like a human that you should compare him to us.
     
  12. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest I have the kavorka
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    Is he celibate?
    Or does he romance his various angels?
    Do angels have gender?
     
  13. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren Always Learning

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    this is the joke section.
     
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  14. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren Always Learning

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    not according to Zeus.
     
  15. Rival

    Rival Noahide
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    He gets the angels to do stuff and that's how you end up with 'white chocolate' and 'camp coffee'.
     
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  16. sun rise

    sun rise "This is the Hour of God"
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    Messing with humanity. Didn't you read "Good Omens"?

    White of course.

    You need to read the book, the trilogy actually, by Oolon Colluphid of course.

    You know what they say about Mother Nature being a ***** (nothing against dogs of the female gender, of course).

    Oh no, you've revealed @Revoltingest 's true identity. Now you're really in for it.
     
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  17. sun rise

    sun rise "This is the Hour of God"
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    Those are demonic inventions.
     
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  18. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest I have the kavorka
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    Check to see what forum this thread's in.
     
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  19. Eyes to See

    Eyes to See Active Member

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    Angels are neither male nor female. They are spirits like Jehovah.
     
  20. Eyes to See

    Eyes to See Active Member

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    :hugehug:
     
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