I remember wondering why a God who loves us so much would lets us burn in the fiery torments of hell? The only response I ever got was "God doesn't let us, we choose it by rejecting him". I was a pretty literate kid. I read cover-to-cover a simplified children's bible when I was 12, supplemented by the weekly readings at church and my own studies at home. It seemed so odd to me that there were so many contradictions in the bible, how God could change from vengeful to loving, then back again at the end of the world - did you know that according to Revelations only 144,000 celibate men will be saved? 14:3-4
Speaking of Revelations, that was a book missing from my childhood text! Have any of you ever read it? You wanna talk fire and brimstone, Revelations is enough to give anyone nightmares!
Anyway, long story short, I was 16 when I knew in my heart that Christianity wasn't for me, but I kept going to church until I was 18 because it meant so much to my mother. But finally I couldn't take it any more, and told her that I was done, that I rejected Christianity and all of it's teachings. She accepted my decision, but I was disappointed that she didn't want to discuss anything with me. A short time later I realized that I missed the sense of community and belonging that is the church.
A lot of things led me to my decision. The idea of heaven and hell never did sit well with me. Even heaven didn't sound all that great to me. There is so much on Earth that I won't get the chance to experience that not being allowed to come back would be my idea of hell.
My only fear, one that has plagued me since I renounced christianity, is that of loneliness. Say what you will about christianity, but one cannot deny how uplifting it is to worship with others who share and confirm your beliefs. I have no one who shares my beliefs, no one to worship or participate in ritual with. I can hold feasts and parties under the pretext of Samhain or Solstices, but the spirituality has to be kept to a minimum if I want my peers to participate. Sidenote: I believe that this is why so many pagan communities fail. We are all standing alone in a room of hundreds.
As usual my replies are dreadfully longwinded! So if you just skipped to the bottom, hell was never an issue for me, leaving the community of the Church was the hardest part.
