"Surround yourself only with good people" but there are no good people

[an anarchist]

Reading the Dhammapadda and reading through this thread ( What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced? ) inspired this one.

As a youngin when I was in Christian church, I was taught to only befriend the good people i.e. other Christians. The Pastor would whip out a Bible verse or two supporting this idea.

I'm no Christian anymore, but I was reading the Dhammapadda and found the Buddha telling me something similar. I don't have the book with me right now so I can't exactly quote it, but the Buddha was saying to not hang out with "fools".

Well, I look around in my life, and everyone is a fool or in some other way twisted and distasteful. I know there are people with correct beliefs out there like me, but they aren't in my life. So, what am I to do, Mr. Buddha? Be by my lonesome?

I am no saint, but, if I was in charge of the world, everything would be alright. I have yet to meet someone who I wish to follow and learn from. A teacher type figure. Instead, I am surrounded by statists and otherwise misled and oblivious folk. They are all fools.

So, I reject the notion that you should only surround yourself with good people. Good people are scarce and far between. I may not be good, but I am no fool. However, I cannot follow the Buddha's advice and only hang with the wise because I have yet to find anyone really.

 

[JustGeorge]

Reading the Dhammapadda and reading through this thread ( What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced? ) inspired this one.

As a youngin when I was in Christian church, I was taught to only befriend the good people i.e. other Christians. The Pastor would whip out a Bible verse or two supporting this idea.

I'm no Christian anymore, but I was reading the Dhammapadda and found the Buddha telling me something similar. I don't have the book with me right now so I can't exactly quote it, but the Buddha was saying to not hang out with "fools".

Well, I look around in my life, and everyone is a fool or in some other way twisted and distasteful. I know there are people with correct beliefs out there like me, but they aren't in my life. So, what am I to do, Mr. Buddha? Be by my lonesome?

I am no saint, but, if I was in charge of the world, everything would be alright. I have yet to meet someone who I wish to follow and learn from. A teacher type figure. Instead, I am surrounded by statists and otherwise misled and oblivious folk. They are all fools.

So, I reject the notion that you should only surround yourself with good people. Good people are scarce and far between. I may not be good, but I am no fool. However, I cannot follow the Buddha's advice and only hang with the wise because I have yet to find anyone really.

What's a good person?

I see some wonderful people making unfortunate mistakes.

 

[an anarchist]

I see some wonderful people making unfortunate mistakes.

Perhaps. But I do venture that this is a tricky mindset. How much do you overlook? How much empathy do you spare for someone else when it comes to understanding there ill-perceived actions?
I have found myself able to overlook the worst of things for the sake of seeing the good in a person.
It is tricky. I do not know what I should do.

 

[idea]

... I have yet to meet someone who I wish to follow and learn from. A teacher type figure. ...

There is a transition in life from dependent, to independent, to interdependent.

William G. Perry (psychologist) - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Welcome to the stage "you have to make your own decisions"

You have to make your own decisions

e.g. "what is important is not what the tutor thinks but what I think"

People are fun if you don't feel the need to follow them, or rely on them. you are your own teacher. Follow yourself.

 

[JustGeorge]

Perhaps. But I do venture that this is a tricky mindset. How much do you overlook? How much empathy do you spare for someone else when it comes to understanding there ill-perceived actions?

For me, it depends why they're performing an action, how much self control they have available, and what their ultimate goals are regarding themselves(I don't mean this in a materialistic way, but more of a moral way).

I have found myself able to overlook the worst of things for the sake of seeing the good in a person.

Same, other than in cases where the person will intentionally hurt others to get ahead. I'm not talking simple misjudgments or quick mistakes, but where its plotted out.

It is tricky. I do not know what I should do.

I would analyze how much the company you keep affects you.

I always thought the advice to be picky with one's company to be snobby and exclusionary... but then I observed many people completely altering their mindsets and lifestyles because they company they kept did. And I saw the wisdom in it.

I'm not very influenceable, so I'll befriend whoever the hell I want.

However, if you find you do influence easy, it might be best to be choosy to some extent of who you spend your time with.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Are you confusing a good person with a perfect person? We all have flaws, we all make mistakes and might accidentally hurt others. Then there are people who hurt others and don't give it a second thought. Those are the ones I consider bad people.

 

[an anarchist]

Are you confusing a good person with a perfect person? We all have flaws, we all make mistakes and might accidentally hurt others. Then there are people who hurt others and don't give it a second thought. Those are the ones I consider bad people.

So, I oft use statism as an example when I talk but hey, I'm literally @an anarchist .

A typical person is a statist. Is this there fault? Not entirely, the fact that they are statists is a calculated result. From our earliest age, government run education promotes statism. Heck, in America, you are literally pledging allegiance to the American flag every day, starting in kindergarten.

So, let's say I give the typical statist a pass. They haven't come to realize anarchism as the moral option. But what is the result of their buffoonery? Another example I always point to is war. But, war is a direct result of statism. So, the statists in my life, they pay taxes and vote and otherwise give their support to a war machine. Sure, I'm not getting blown up, but that's because I am a privileged citizen. Just taking the 21st century into account, how many innocents has America killed in one way or the other, either through direct military action or by funding other countries militaries? Alot. This is the typical statist's fault, because enough of you guys exist to make war a constant reality.

So, "we all have flaws and might accidentally hurt others" is nice and all, but that "accidentally hurting others" = bombing children.

And war is just one example. But a prevalent and apparent one.

I understand the affects of naivety. The result is death. So perhaps a "good" person is not good enough for me. But, then, as you say, we all have flaws.

 

[oldbadger]

Reading the Dhammapadda and reading through this thread ( What if You Found Out That a Friend Was Racist or Otherwise Hatefully Prejudiced? ) inspired this one.

As a youngin when I was in Christian church, I was taught to only befriend the good people i.e. other Christians. The Pastor would whip out a Bible verse or two supporting this idea.

I'm no Christian anymore, but I was reading the Dhammapadda and found the Buddha telling me something similar. I don't have the book with me right now so I can't exactly quote it, but the Buddha was saying to not hang out with "fools".

Well, I look around in my life, and everyone is a fool or in some other way twisted and distasteful. I know there are people with correct beliefs out there like me, but they aren't in my life. So, what am I to do, Mr. Buddha? Be by my lonesome?

I am no saint, but, if I was in charge of the world, everything would be alright. I have yet to meet someone who I wish to follow and learn from. A teacher type figure. Instead, I am surrounded by statists and otherwise misled and oblivious folk. They are all fools.

So, I reject the notion that you should only surround yourself with good people. Good people are scarce and far between. I may not be good, but I am no fool. However, I cannot follow the Buddha's advice and only hang with the wise because I have yet to find anyone really.

It's a strange situation, isn't it?
We have a little hound, she's old now and very small, but she's grumpy, greedy, impatient, selfish and irritable.......and we love her more than any of our relatives or anybody else! If she happened to be a human I don't think I would have anything to do with her, and so she shows me that my love can be quite separated from my logic.
You see, I am quite as imperfect, mistaken, stupid and daft as everybody else, and so I might just as well seek to enjoy other people as much as I do with our little hound.

 

[chinu]

"Surround yourself only with good people" but there are no good people​

And can a blind-person find a sighted person ? ​

 

[SalixIncendium]

I think you took the quote out of context and perhaps are unintentionally misinterpreting the meaning, and you either did not read the entire quote or misremembered it.

The quote you are speaking of is from chapter 5 of the Dhammapada...The Fool.

Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let him resolutely pursue a solitary course; there is no fellowship with the fool.​

​

The Dhammapada: Chapter 5, The Fool

​

The chapter, in a nutshell, is saying that associating with those that are in ignorance of their true nature and are absorbed in the world (fools) reinforces dukkha (suffering) and attachment to samsara (the cycle of rebirth) and is counterproductive to liberation.

The quote really has nothing to do with "good people."

 

[PureX]

Using our own presumed superior intellect and moral character to judge and condemn others is just blind egotism. And if we fall into that trap we become unteachable, and of no positive value to anyone else. We just end up alone and frustrated.

But if we can humble that ego, and stop presuming ourselves to be the intellectual and moral superior of everyone else, we can learn from them. Even if it's what not to do. And then everyone becomes our teacher. And we, theirs.

 

[Koldo]

So, I oft use statism as an example when I talk but hey, I'm literally @an anarchist .

A typical person is a statist. Is this there fault? Not entirely, the fact that they are statists is a calculated result. From our earliest age, government run education promotes statism. Heck, in America, you are literally pledging allegiance to the American flag every day, starting in kindergarten.

So, let's say I give the typical statist a pass. They haven't come to realize anarchism as the moral option. But what is the result of their buffoonery? Another example I always point to is war. But, war is a direct result of statism. So, the statists in my life, they pay taxes and vote and otherwise give their support to a war machine. Sure, I'm not getting blown up, but that's because I am a privileged citizen. Just taking the 21st century into account, how many innocents has America killed in one way or the other, either through direct military action or by funding other countries militaries? Alot. This is the typical statist's fault, because enough of you guys exist to make war a constant reality.

So, "we all have flaws and might accidentally hurt others" is nice and all, but that "accidentally hurting others" = bombing children.

And war is just one example. But a prevalent and apparent one.

I understand the affects of naivety. The result is death. So perhaps a "good" person is not good enough for me. But, then, as you say, we all have flaws.

If the measure is human death, an anarchy would bring about the end of the welfare state with nothing to replace it leading to the death of millions due to starvation (and malnourishment) and lack of access to health services.

 

[RestlessSoul]

‘And now tell me, why is it that you use the words “good people” all

the time? Do you call everyone that, or what?’

‘Everyone,’ the prisoner replied. There are no evil people in the world.’

‘The first I hear of it,’ Pilate said, grinning. ‘But perhaps I know too little of life! ...


Exchange between Yeshua ha Nozri and Pontius Pilate, from The Master and Margarita by Mikhael Bulgakov

 

[ajay0]

So, I reject the notion that you should only surround yourself with good people. Good people are scarce and far between. I may not be good, but I am no fool. However, I cannot follow the Buddha's advice and only hang with the wise because I have yet to find anyone really.

The Buddha nature or Self is within you as well, and this is considered to be the highest holy company. As the biblical saying goes, 'The kingdom of God is within you.'

So if you cannot find wise people around you, practice Self-awareness or mindfulness, and you will be in the company of the Buddha within you.

The highest satsang (holy company) is to have the company of the one true Self. The second is to enjoy the company of those who have realized this. The third is the company of a profound spiritual book. Remain in the company of the enlightened ones and as the sun sets fire to the sky, the fire of their wisdom will burn your ego to ashes. ~ Anandamayi Ma

 

[1213]

I'm no Christian anymore, but I was reading the Dhammapadda and found the Buddha telling me something similar. I don't have the book with me right now so I can't exactly quote it, but the Buddha was saying to not hang out with "fools".

Well, I look around in my life, and everyone is a fool or in some other way twisted and distasteful. I know there are people with correct beliefs out there like me, but they aren't in my life. So, what am I to do, Mr. Buddha? Be by my lonesome?

I am no saint, but, if I was in charge of the world, everything would be alright. I have yet to meet someone who I wish to follow and learn from. A teacher type figure. Instead, I am surrounded by statists and otherwise misled and oblivious folk. They are all fools.

So, I reject the notion that you should only surround yourself with good people. Good people are scarce and far between. I may not be good, but I am no fool. However, I cannot follow the Buddha's advice and only hang with the wise because I have yet to find anyone really.

Pro tip, don't surround yourself with bad people:

Do not envy evil men, nor desire to be with them. For their heart studies violence, and their lips talk of mischief.
Pro 24:1-2
Do not be led astray; bad companionships ruin good habits.
1 Cor. 15:33

I would recommend to to follow only God and Jesus.

And being surrounded is not good, always leave room for escape.

 

[PureX]

I think we're all surrounded by all kinds of people. Maybe the thing to watch out for is how we allow them to effect us.

On another thread someone asked what we'd do if we discovered a friend was an evil person (hateful bigot, etc.) and my thought was that we probably would not have become friends to begin with, but if somehow we did, my priority would be to guard my own moral boundaries so as not to become 'infected' by the poison that has infected them. It would be mice to hope that being around me would help them get past this poison, but I have little control over that. I can control, however, how I am being effected by my proximity to it. And that I would want to be very mindful of.

 

[ChristineM]

@an anarchist
What's a good person? Everyone has their faults (yes even me). So my philosophy here is surround yourself with people you can get on with and accept their faults, so long as they are acceptable.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Everyone has their faults (yes even me).

My whole image of you is blown.

 

[Quintessence]

Good people are scarce and far between.

I found this weird because in my experience precisely the opposite is true - good humans are abundant and bad ones are scarce and far between. Like, I can count on one hand the number of them I've had the misfortune of needing to deal with in my life.

 

[an anarchist]

"Surround yourself only with good people" but there are no good people​

And can a blind-person find a sighted person ? ​

I guess not. The sighted people should speak more loudly though.