Sexual self-pleasure ~ a dead end street

[ADigitalArtist]

I live a much more complicated life than anyone might imagine.

Don't we all?

Still, getting a third person perspective can and has helped a lot for a lot of people. And if the relationship is worth it to you both it's going to take effort from you both to mend it, and that might include getting outside help.

 

[Cooky]

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[Saint Frankenstein]

My wife hasn't had sex with me for almost 2 years now. And I'm tired and lonely.

I used to use substances, so I had some strange thoughts and inclinations in the past. Now she sleeps in another room permanently. I'm "gross".

...Maybe just a scary man. Maybe I need marriage counseling. Ugh.

22 years of marriage, and 4 kids, and all of a sudden, I'm a disgusting human being.

I am very sorry you are going through this. I don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that. A counselor sounds like a very good idea, if you cannot work out the issues between you. I hope things turn out the best for both of you, but you have to make your own health and happiness a priority.

 

[Cooky]

Don't we all?

Still, getting a third person perspective can and has helped a lot for a lot of people. And if the relationship is worth it to you both it's going to take effort from you both to mend it, and that might include getting outside help.

I've been really depressed because since my wife has lost interest, I've been spending too much time trying to win her love back... Almost to the point, that I worship her.

...And at mass yesterday, the reading was directed straight to me, and the sermon was about men who sometimes shoot their wife and kids because they love 5hem too much and cannot live without them. The sermon was about having "healthy" relationships, and not putting too much focus on them, but rather placing focus on God.

 

[Cooky]

So That really stuck with me, and helped me so much, I can't even come to explain it, and I even shed tears during the sermon.

And I realize now, that trying so hard to love her, only makes her lose more respect for me.

...So I need to love myself. And look to Jesus as the fountain of love to feed me and guide me back to spiritual health. Sorry. I'm just telling you what helps me.

 

[It Aint Necessarily So]

I've heard many people brag about the fact that they sexually self-pleasure themselves, and what a healthy life choice this is.

It's probably good cardiovascular exercise, but if you feel the burn, you might want to call your doctor.

Sorry about your marital troubles.

 

[dfnj]

I've heard many people brag about the fact that they sexually self-pleasure themselves, and what a healthy life choice this is. But in the long run, doesn't it seem repetative and unfulfilling?

Try for example, setting an entire day aside as a test. Begin in the morning and let it last until the late afternoon just before bedtime, or even into the night, and see how fulfilling this is.

...Then try loving an actual person for a day, taking them out for breakfast, doing nice favors for them and having actual intercourse with that human being. Spend time with that person sharing ideas and thoughts.

Then tell me which is more fulfilling.

In the end, you will quickly realize what the human reproductive system is specifically designed for and what is not. Use this in your life, to become a more pure person. Be true to yourself.

No one has ever gotten an STD or anyone pregnant from masturbation. Masturbation doesn't lead to any abortions. Just saying.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

So That really stuck with me, and helped me so much, I can't even come to explain it, and I even shed tears during the sermon.

And I realize now, that trying so hard to love her, only makes her lose more respect for me.

...So I need to love myself. And look to Jesus as the fountain of love to feed me and guide me back to spiritual health.

Sounds like you also really need to *talk to her.* Preferably with the help of a mediator like a couples counselor to keep the conversation going a productive direction. I can't stress the importance of adequate communication between a couple enough. Because neither smothering nor ignoring her is going to fix this.

 

[Cooky]

I guess in a nutshell, for me, sexual self-pleasure has been a lonely, lonely road. And that's because I want something different. And that's just me.

 

[Valjean]

Self-love is a form of love. Masturbation, ideally, is a form of loving your body and being comfortable with it. It teaches you about yourself and what you like.

No. Masturbation is not "self love." That's just silly.

It's more like drug use. It gives you a rush of pleasure. The only difference is that the dopamine is endogenous, rather than from an external source.

Shame about the hairy palms and blindness, though...

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

No. Masturbation is not "self love. That's just silly.

It's more like drug use. It gives you a rush of pleasure. The only difference is that the dopamine is endogenous, rather than from an external source.

Nothing I said was silly. Of course masturbation is self-love. It's a part of being comfortable in your body. Especially when you've struggled with shame and self-hatred, it can be a form of therapy. Loving your body and your sexuality, including your sexual organs, is a big part of being healthy and happy. I think it's sad how masturbation is looked down on like some "dirty" or meaningless purely carnal thing. It's as meaningful and spiritual as any other expression of sexuality.

Your drug use analogy can be used to reduce love and all emotional bonds down to simple chemical interactions in the brain, so you should probably drop it.

 

[stvdv]

Although stress can cause a number of physical health problems, the evidence that it can cause cancer is weak. Some studies have indicated a link between various psychological factors and an increased risk of developing cancer, but others have not
Psychological Stress and Cancer
It seems the evidence for frequent ejaculation is far stronger

When I say "emotions have impact" it's not just stress I think of. Sadness, fear, anger, hate, jealousy, envy all have a big impact on health. The scriptures are quite clear about that. And it will take some time for science to come to the same conclusion. To prove things scientifically takes a lot of time. Especially when it is about health, because the human body is very complex.

If it were only smoking that would cause long cancer then what about those 90 year old chain smokers who never got cancer. So long cancer is not only about smoking. People who smoke like a chimney, normally don't eat very healthy either, that is obvious. So it's also not diet alone. When they smoke so much we can also exclude other unhealthy work environment (unless they work in Chernobyl type of environment). So for me it is obvious that emotion is the big factor + genes.

For many years the doctors claimed that diet has not much to do with health issues. When I was a baby the doctors told my mother to give me 60 gr of white sugar on a daily basis. I developed diabetes. Not due to the white sugar alone of course. But now the doctors agree that diet does have a big impact on health (in the Netherlands) when it comes to diabetes. That is a big shift from 30 years ago to nowadays. I told the doctors 30 years ago, impact diet is immense on my health. They did not want to hear it then.

There is another obvious link between Big Pharma, doctors and ensurance companies. That is called "money flow". 15 years ago I asked a doctor, whom I met in a spiritual retreat, where lying was the one thing you should not do "Am I so very smart or are the doctors so dumb , to claim that diet has no impact?" He told me "doctors know, but they get big commission if they they just tell people what Big Pharma wants them to tell". Makes sense, now I understand why my doctor owned 5 cars (jaguar etc).

I was 5 years and I was already very strongly against smoking. I refused to go in the car if parents smoked. I seem to be 30 years ahead of knowledge the doctors share with the public. Only now (last 20 years or so, they are very strong against smoking in Holland ... every package has a nice line telling you that you get cancer, some nice pictures on it with longs etc. Even though I find smoking disgusting I am against this voodoo like anti-smoking campaign).

It's all about money, what they share with the people about health. Big Pharma is Big Business. And Big Business usually don't play fair. Just using common sense, how to earn the most in Big Pharma: a)Make sure the people work their whole life + b)when they retire make sure to collect all their money before they die (people fear death and disease, so cancer is perfect disease for Big Pharma).

Science of course, is also a big money friend of Big Pharma. So they don't fool me. They all work together to maximize the "money flow".

I just don't trust people who make "our health their business". Same with religion, when they ask the people to donate, I put big question marks. But in 20 years or so we will see if my view is crazy or true.

 

[Cooky]

No. Masturbation is not "self love." That's just silly.

It's more like drug use. It gives you a rush of pleasure. The only difference is that the dopamine is endogenous, rather than from an external source.

That has been my experience, honestly. Drug use and masturbation have, for the most part, gone hand in hand. No pun.

And there is a world of difference between that disfunctional lifestyle, and a properly organized one. From my experience.

 

[ChristineM]

When I say "emotions have impact" it's not just stress I think of. Sadness, fear, anger, hate, jealousy, envy all have a big impact on health. The scriptures are quite clear about that. And it will take some time for science to come to the same conclusion. To prove things scientifically takes a lot of time. Especially when it is about health, because the human body is very complex.

If it were only smoking that would cause long cancer then what about those 90 year old chain smokers who never got cancer. So long cancer is not only about smoking. People who smoke like a chimney, normally don't eat very healthy either, that is obvious. So it's also not diet alone. When they smoke so much we can also exclude other unhealthy work environment (unless they work in Chernobyl type of environment). So for me it is obvious that emotion is the big factor + genes.

For many years the doctors claimed that diet has not much to do with health issues. When I was a baby the doctors told my mother to give me 60 gr of white sugar on a daily basis. I developed diabetes. Not due to the white sugar alone of course. But now the doctors agree that diet does have a big impact on health (in the Netherlands) when it comes to diabetes. That is a big shift from 30 years ago to nowadays. I told the doctors 30 years ago, impact diet is immense on my health. They did not want to hear it then.

There is another obvious link between Big Pharma, doctors and ensurance companies. That is called "money flow". 15 years ago I asked a doctor, whom I met in a spiritual retreat, where lying was the one thing you should not do "Am I so very smart or are the doctors so dumb , to claim that diet has no impact?" He told me "doctors know, but they get big commission if they they just tell people what Big Pharma wants them to tell". Makes sense, now I understand why my doctor owned 5 cars (jaguar etc).

I was 5 years and I was already very strongly against smoking. I refused to go in the car if parents smoked. I seem to be 30 years ahead of knowledge the doctors share with the public. Only now (last 20 years or so, they are very strong against smoking in Holland ... every package has a nice line telling you that you get cancer, some nice pictures on it with longs etc. Even though I find smoking disgusting I am against this voodoo like anti-smoking campaign).

It's all about money, what they share with the people about health. Big Pharma is Big Business. And Big Business usually don't play fair. Just using common sense, how to earn the most in Big Pharma: a)Make sure the people work their whole life + b)when they retire make sure to collect all their money before they die (people fear death and disease, so cancer is perfect disease for Big Pharma).

Science of course, is also a big money friend of Big Pharma. So they don't fool me. They all work together to maximize the "money flow".

I just don't trust people who make "our health their business". Same with religion, when they ask the people to donate, I put big question marks. But in 20 years or so we will see if my view is crazy or true.

The scriptures are not medical texts

Strawman, lung cancer and diabetes s not in question

You can protest all you want, the medical establishment is fairly well agreed. And your health is their business, without that business the human life expectancy would be around 35 years, tens of millions of people (including my husband) would be dead now without that business.

In 20 years or so you may have prostate cancer, are you willing to take the risk on a matter of principle?

 

[Skwim]

Self-love is a form of love. Masturbation, ideally, is a form of loving your body and being comfortable with it. It teaches you about yourself and what you like.

As far as I can remember, the self-love is only a love of the physical feeling.

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[Saint Frankenstein]

As far as I can remember, the self-love is only a love of the physical feeling.

.

That's your experience of it. Experiences differ.

 

[Cooky]

The scriptures are not medical texts

Strawman, lung cancer and diabetes s not in question

You can protest all you want, the medical establishment is fairly well agreed. And your health is their business, without that business the human life expectancy would be around 35 years, tens of millions of people (including my husband) would be dead now without that business.

In 20 years or so you may have prostate cancer, are you willing to take the risk on a matter of principle?

But don't they also say silly things like having a glass of wine every day helps too? Or eating chocolate lowers your risk for a heart disease?

Could eating chocolate lower risk of stroke and heart disease?

...I'm pretty sure we can find some kind of medical benefit for just about anything.

 

[Skwim]

That's your experience of it. Experiences differ.

So when you masturbate what kind of love is it that emerges?

.

 

[stvdv]

You're the one claiming that emotions help to cause cancer, which there's no evidence for, unless you'd like to cite it?

I said "it has more to do with emotions", not just "with ejaculation alone". There are plenty of Saints without prostate cancer who don't ejaculate 21 times a month as per recipe of science. people who have emotional problems can develop many diseases because their system is out of balance. I have no scientific proof. But there is plenty of information on this in the Ayurveda (health system in India). Slowly science in the West will have to admit many things already proven thousands of years ago by Saints.

Nowadays it is proven that meditation is beneficial. That took science already many years to prove. When science has not proven it yet, does not mean it's untrue, it just means they can't or won't prove it yet. Same with cancer. Takes some time. Maybe they already know more than they show us. Big Pharma, ensurance company, doctors they all play a game to maximize profits. They don't show us all they know. You need not be clearvoyant to know that. That is just economics.

It even took science some time to prove the earth is not flat. It is sometimes very difficult for science to prove things. So science runs a little behind the facts. First we get the Saints who know it "by purity of heart", then we get the people who know it by experiences, then many decades later we get science able to prove what already was prophesied sometimes thousand years ago. I give "Spiritual Science" like ayurveda the advantage of doubt, because it has proven it's value. I rather don't wait for doctors telling me the wrong things until proven different.

 

[stvdv]

In 20 years or so you may have prostate cancer, are you willing to take the risk on a matter of principle?

It's not a matter of principle. It's a matter of wisdom in this case. I don't say that you should ejaculate or not, for me personally it's better not to.