Not surprising or expectation defying though. Feminists "around her age and wave" are of TERFs, and they provide some wonky wack *** points. Like how they can't call a trans-woman a woman because if he's harassed and ridiculed he might like it. And you typically have to struggle and suffer as a woman to be a woman, according to them. Really, overall, they are strangely kind of about like the "doom and gloom don't do it" crowd when it comes to transitioning. The take away being anything related to being female, feminine, or woman is to be miserable, full of suffering, and it's blaspheme to suggest otherwise.
We all struggle though. It seems to me the key difference is those who keep going, looking ahead, while the rest give up and insist life and your identity has to be a struggle. Which sounds awfully like those Christians who promote doom and gloom because god doesn't want us smiling, being happy, or having it easy.
Perhaps it has to do with strictly and dogmatically adhering to an ideology, but clearly something makes people more prone to defining themselves based upon their struggles and hardships, to the point it becomes a requirement and focus. In a culture of "just be yourself," just being yourself may not always necessarily be enough.