May the Gods Help Me..

[Circle_One]

So aparently I've just been informed that I've been enlisted by my family to cook Thanksgiving dinner today. They all voted and opted for me.

Poor, silly family.

I don't even eat turkey, and I'm supposed to know how to cook one? HA! They're all gonna get food poisoning, don't they realize that?

Anyway, I'm scared. I'm not too good around a kitchen. Normally, I'm not even allowed in my kitchen (something about almost setting my parent's house on fire, years ago).

Just wanted to share this absolute idiocy with all of you.

If I'm not around for a while it's because my parents killed me for not cooking a good enough dinner or something.

Anyone have any easy tips for me? :help:

 

[Mike182]

microwave everything - they will never ask you again :devil:

 

[BFD_Zayl]

just say you will have a tofu turkey, after they hear that they will take over cookin......heh heh heh heh

 

[Circle_One]

just say you will have a tofu turkey, after they hear that they will take over cookin......heh heh heh heh

Can't do that, mom already told me no tofu turkey allowed. Grrr

 

[Mike182]

Can't do that, mom already told me no tofu turkey allowed. Grrr

you could stab the turkey, several times, so it doesn't explode (things have exploded this week when i have had to cook for myself), stuff it in the over, with some sort of *paste* (because apparantly you paste a turkey :areyoucra ) and microwave all the veg, whisk up some gravy, and serve.

 

[Circle_One]

you could stab the turkey, several times, so it doesn't explode (things have exploded this week when i have had to cook for myself), stuff it in the over, with some sort of *paste* (because apparantly you paste a turkey :areyoucra ) and microwave all the veg, whisk up some gravy, and serve.

HA! Believe me, I wouldn't be surprised if something blows up for me today.

I can do the veggies, that's no problem at all, it's just, I have NO idea how to cook a turkey, hahaha.

I'm dead.

 

[BFD_Zayl]

you could stab the turkey, several times, so it doesn't explode (things have exploded this week when i have had to cook for myself), stuff it in the over, with some sort of *paste* (because apparantly you paste a turkey :areyoucra ) and microwave all the veg, whisk up some gravy, and serve.

dont forget the mashed taters! and when you make em use red skin potatos, cut em up, boil untill very soft, mash, add milk and alittle but of garlic, parsley, and basil

 

[Circle_One]

dont forget the mashed taters! and when you make em use red skin potatos, cut em up, boil untill very soft, mash, add milk and alittle but of garlic, parsley, and basil

Mashed potatoes are my specialty, so I'm not worried about that.

 

[Buttons*]

.... watch some cooking shows on TV, i'm sure they have specials....

or look up something online!

 

[Circle_One]

I tried looking up things online but it all seems so difficult! Can't I just throw the damn turkey in the oven and leave it there for a while? hahahaha

 

[kreeden]

Turkey isn't that hard to cook C1 . Just make sure it is covered { tinfoil will do } and that it doesn't dry out . Cook it slowly , allowing lots of time .... don't know how long per pound off hand as it has been awhile ...

And if all least fails , there is KFC .

 

[evearael]

Oooo! It's our first Thanksgiving we are cooking, too... I've got a thread going with recipies and such here. Good luck!

 

[kreeden]

Oh , I forgot the MOST IMPORTANT part ..... drink lots of wine .

Enough wine makes everything ok .

 

[Circle_One]

Hahaha! Thanks guys.

I'm just a little scared. I don't know why they would choose me as they all know I hate cooking, don't eat meat and have never cooked a turkey before.. it's kind of odd.

 

[michel]

So aparently I've just been informed that I've been enlisted by my family to cook Thanksgiving dinner today. They all voted and opted for me.

Poor, silly family.

I don't even eat turkey, and I'm supposed to know how to cook one? HA! They're all gonna get food poisoning, don't they realize that?

Anyway, I'm scared. I'm not too good around a kitchen. Normally, I'm not even allowed in my kitchen (something about almost setting my parent's house on fire, years ago).

Just wanted to share this absolute idiocy with all of you.

If I'm not around for a while it's because my parents killed me for not cooking a good enough dinner or something.

Anyone have any easy tips for me? :help:

Ouch! Whatta mistaka to maka!

Cook the Turkey long and hard; if the family will let you get away with it, you can get breasts of turkey with no bone. If you look at a turkey after it has been savaged by a carving knife and for, you'll understand why.

With a turkey crown, you can even par - cook it in the microwave which will save you a lot of cooking time.

Don't do what my wife did, the first Christmas we were married; she got a 25 Lb turkey, and decided to cook it slowly.

When it came to serving it (she plated it in the kitchen - thank goodness!!) it was pink all over (except for a thin layer all round). Somehow or other, everyone got turkey, and no one got food poisoning, but it was a close shave!

A lot of cases of food - poisoning apparently occurr when people try to defrost the animal under a hot water tap; that is asking for trouble.

 

[ayani]

keep the turkey basted- pour some of the pooling gravey over the bird every while. cover it in foil and leave it for a while- but baste!

mashed potatos are easy... you can add cheese or herbs to the, that's always nice. asparagus is easy. just cover and steam them in a small pan for a few minutes and you're set. peas can be boiled or zapped. baked sweet potatos- just stick a fork in em and stick em in the oven for a while, checking with knife till they get gooey.

i stink at cooking, by the way. but it's not super hard.

 

[lizskid]

Get a turkey roasting bag, Reynolds makes them. Rinse off the turkey, take all the gits out, put it in the bag, use the closure and then slit a couple of holes near the top side for venting. Cook as recommended on the bag directions, I think it's like 30 min per pound at 350-375. The turkey will brown and stay moist. If you cannot get those bags where you are, let me know I will send you one, honestly! I do the Thanksgiving meal every year and have for over 10 years...never once a complaint!!!!! PM me if you need more!

 

[methylatedghosts]

Do a really really bad job. They'll never ask you again!

stuff it in the over, with some sort of *paste* (because apparantly you paste a turkey :areyoucra )

Do you mean baste? (or am I completely wrong here :S I don't know. I don't do turkey either. Or Thanksgiving for that matter, living in NZ )

 

[Green Gaia]

Have a deli cook the turkey for you, then all you have to worry about is the side dishes and picking up the turkey.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

One thing you can do to surprise them, if you have a large enough fryer, is deep fry the turkey.
Or you could add lots of cajun seasoning to the bast or marinade.