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May the Gods Help Me..

Hema

Sweet n Spicy
Tell them that the sight of raw meat makes you feel sick and you don't want to throw up all over the food. You can tell them you'll come early and help them chop vegetables or something and then they'll do the actual cooking. I don't eat meat either and nobody is going to make me touch it, moreover to cook it. Seriously, if you would feel uncomfortable cooking it, tell them. Don't let anyone make you do what you don't want to. I can't stand the smell of meat when it's being cooked. I feel so sick. Tell them something like that.
 

MaddLlama

Obstructor of justice
I have some really good beginner cookbooks (since I suck at cooking) that have some clear, concise and good instructions for turkey and Thanksgiving dinner (one book from the Food Network, and the other from Betty Crocker). If you'd like, I can scan in the pages and e-mail them to you =)
 

Engyo

Prince of Dorkness!
I usually smoke our turkeys lately. If your grill is big enough, it's easy.

1. Soak turkey in salt water for at least 8 hours prior to cooking.

2. Prepare grill: 20 minutes before cooking, stack 50 briquets and light. Take 2 lb bag of mesquite grilling chips and soak them in 1/2 bottle of red wine (inexpensive, merlot works well).

3. When a coating of grey ash has begun to form, separate into two piles of 25 briquets each, along both sides of a single use aluminum drip pan (under grill below bird). Add a handful of wine-soaked mesquite chips to each side. Set bird on grill. Place grill top over and set vents to allow a little smoke to release.

4. Every half hour (this is important - SET YOUR TIMER!) add 5 briquets and a small amount of chips to each side of the drip pan. Replace grill cover.

5. This will take approximately 4 hours for a 16 lb. bird, and 5 hours for a 20 lb. bird, etc. For a smaller bird, take at least 3 1/2 hours minimum to ensure complete cooking. Note that turkey meat may be pink, but juices should run clear.

Turkey can be brined with seasonings, if desired. A rub of rosemary and olive oil may be used, and cubed onions and apples added to body cavities will add flavor, but none of these steps are vital.

I have used this recipe with minor variations for at least 6 years, and it has never failed me.
 

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
Circle_One said:
So aparently I've just been informed that I've been enlisted by my family to cook Thanksgiving dinner today. They all voted and opted for me.

Poor, silly family.

I don't even eat turkey, and I'm supposed to know how to cook one? HA! They're all gonna get food poisoning, don't they realize that?

Anyway, I'm scared. I'm not too good around a kitchen. Normally, I'm not even allowed in my kitchen (something about almost setting my parent's house on fire, years ago).

Just wanted to share this absolute idiocy with all of you.

If I'm not around for a while it's because my parents killed me for not cooking a good enough dinner or something.

Anyone have any easy tips for me? :help:
Seriously, if my family tried that, I'd tell them all to take a flying leap. I have never in my life cooked a turkey and I wouldn't know where to start. That's my sister's job.
 

lizskid

BANNED
Katzpur said:
Seriously, if my family tried that, I'd tell them all to take a flying leap. I have never in my life cooked a turkey and I wouldn't know where to start. That's my sister's job.

Yeah, well, my sister has to host Christmas!!!! I CHOSE Thanksgiving, because I love to prepare it!: hamster :
 

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
lizskid said:
Yeah, well, my sister has to host Christmas!!!! I CHOSE Thanksgiving, because I love to prepare it!: hamster :
LOL! I host Christmas. She chose Thanksgiving because she loves to prepare it! Funny, huh? (We don't have turkey for Christmas, though. We have prime rib. What could be easier?)
 
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