I need advice about a loan

[Vinayaka]

I do understand you
personally i have no attachments to money, both in having a lot of it or have nothing at all. and if someone chose to not give back what they borrow its not my problem

I have fewer attachments to money than most people, especially these days, but back when we had 5 kids to feed, a huge dharmic responsibility, I had quite the attachment. In my sampradaya we call it affectionate detachment, which basically means there's no emotion involved, but we're not cold either.

 

[Vinayaka]

Morning here, not enough coffee yet.

 

[Audie]

I drive home from work every day. A co worker doesn't have a license so I often give him a ride down the highway to a bus stop. He catches me for rides at least a couple of times per week. No skin off my nose; I'm going that way, anyway. We are co workers who have known each other (in work, very little social contact outside of work other than Facebook or a text message) for over 10 years. Friendly, maybe even friends but who knows.

A couple of weeks ago, we drove past the supermarket and he spoke about not having anything for dinner, so he was considering going shopping. His one hesitation is that he didn't know if he had enough cash handy to buy anything good. "Don't worry," I said, "I have cash." He said he only needed a $20 but I only had a $100 so I pulled it out and gave it to him. He went shopping.

Fast forward a few weeks. He hasn't mentioned the money (which I know he is good for -- he is financially stable) and I don't know how, when or even if to mention it to him. Does he remember it? Did he think I was just giving him a gift of $100? He is a sensitive soul so I don't want to come off as harsh or demanding, or strain our (somewhat) friendship because we do work together, daily, and I still give him rides.

So looking for advice as to how to deal with this. Should I just write the money off? Should I drop not-so-subtle hints until he feels awkward? TIA

Me, personally, I would forget the hundred dollars.
I dont need it; I dont need phony "friends".

He knows he owes it; he is a freeloader.
You are not his friend any more than you
are a mosquito's friend.

He sure as anything would never get another ride
from me. Let him be "sensitive". He aint
sensitive enough to give your money back.

I'd tell him to keep the hundred dollars and
that he can find another way to get to and from
work.

 

[Revoltingest]

He came to my desk (waiting to speak to the boss) and we were talking about something. I said that I had a difficult and sensitive question to ask him and then mentioned it. He received it well, apologized because he knows he tends to be forgetful and this has happened before. He pulled out the money and handed it to me and we continued to shmooze, so I'm hoping that this is now a closed issue.

Congrats!

Hey, could I borrower $5?
I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
(@Skwim will tell you that I'm good for it.)

 

[suncowiam]

I read the title and started thinking of a car loan, mortgage or business loan.

Well, you should have tacked on an interest, closing fee plus late fees where applicable.

 

[Rival]

Well, you should have tacked on an interest, closing fee plus late fees where applicable.

No interest if to another Jew

 

[Revoltingest]

No interest if to another Jew

Or Muslim.

Btw....
I just lent some money to a friend, a contractor who does much work for me.
We had a title company draw up the agreement & the mortgage on his house.
(He's building a shop behind his home.) This is the way to lend money.

 

[Audie]

I read the title and started thinking of a car loan, mortgage or business loan.

Well, you should have tacked on an interest, closing fee plus late fees where applicable.

Also pain and suffering.

 

[YmirGF]

You gave your co-worker a gift here. You didn't enter into an oral contract to be repaid such as a loan entails.

I'll have to remember this if I ever happen to spot you $20.00 (Get it in writing, with 3 witnesses and a video tape of the exchange for good measure.)

Under such circumstances expecting repayment would not be unreasonable and would not have to be mentioned. It (repayment) is a "given" in the context.

 

[Nous]

I'll have to remember this if I ever happen to spot you $20.00 (Get it in writing, with 3 witnesses and a video tape of the exchange for good measure.)

Oral contracts are OK under certain circumstances. Reliable witnesses are good to have. And if the parties do things in fulfillment of the terms of said contract, a court would weigh those acts. Getting a written contract notarized is always the best thing to do.