I have had OCD for over ten years

[Srivijaya]

anything you care to know or wonder?

Would you change it if you could?

 

[Shushersbedamned]

Would you change it if you could?

Change?

 

[Srivijaya]

Change?

I mean like not have it?

 

[Shushersbedamned]

I mean like not have it?

Wow. I can't really imagine that. I mean at this point the idea of it not being would exterminate a big part of myself and my life. It's a bit difficult question that way. But if I had to say yes or no I'd say no, I wouldn't not have it. It has thaught me so much and I have found some help from medication so hopefully I'll find an optimal one and can live with it.

 

[Mock Turtle]

Wow. I can't really imagine that. I mean at this point the idea of it not being would exterminate a big part of myself and my life. It's a bit difficult question that way. But if I had to say yes or no I'd say no, I wouldn't not have it. It has thaught me so much and I have found some help from medication so hopefully I'll find an optimal one and can live with it.

I think you might feel different looking back. I never imagined I would be where I am now as a person, and if I had realised this earlier I might have done more to effect change. I think it quite possible for many to change for the better if they find the right approach that works for them.

 

[Shushersbedamned]

I think you might feel different looking back. I never imagined I would be where I am now as a person, and if I had realised this earlier I might have done more to effect change. I think it quite possible for many to change for the better if they find the right approach that works for them.

This was about would I change the fact if having it. And I was looking back.

 

[Srivijaya]

The main thing is that you are happy with who you are. I think our definition of 'normal' versus OCD, autistic etc is a bit arbitrary in any case, as the human mind is a complex event. Thanks for sharing about yourself though, it's useful to dispel misconceptions.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

I thought it was then. Now I resent it. They didn't keep the seriousness from me. How could they have. My dad drunkenly screamed at night, she's definitely dying. And then he would tell me she won't and back and forth. At the same I couldn't see her cuz she was "resting" which I took to mean that I was too tiresome to her.

It's been 13 years and her death is never talked about. She cannot be talked about. I guess it would inevitably mean blaming someone and the hurt is so deep no one wants to refer to that blame which then touches the hurt part.

Oh my goodness! I have so much concern for you.

The premature death of a loved one has affected untold numbers of families, and destroyed many relationships within them....effectively destroying the families.

It's good you are able to write about it, that can help. Any communication can help you in healing. The best, though, would be with your family members....have you ever tried to broach the subject with your brother? But don't blame anyone.

My 3rd-great grandparents-- my Dad's, Mom's, Dad's, Dad's parents (seriously) -- they and their children went through a horrible ordeal: two fam.members died, and the mother blamed herself and became a mental invalid.... no one in the family wanted to talk about it, and the father kept her hid from them. He became an alcoholic. Several of their 11 kids -- basically the younger ones -- grew up being, let's just say, social outcasts, and the children they had, were deprived of good, stable family lives. And their children were affected.

It was a domino effect, and it could have been averted if they just had been able to communicate their feelings.

Please, talk about it....and best to do so with the other hurt members of your family, without assigning blame!

Best wishes.

 

[Deeje]

This was about would I change the fact if having it. And I was looking back.

I am wondering if the child of nine had a grasp on what was really happening....especially with your Dad.
Were you close to your Mom? Did your father remarry? Do you have siblings? Older or younger?

It sounds like the family dynamic was greatly affected by the illness and death of your mother. If alcohol was sought by your Dad as a way to cope then that would have added another toxic element to your experience.

Kids are always the casualties when people can't deal with their life situations. I have seen kids become the carers for their emotionally crippled parents. None of us ask for this. We did not choose our parents or have any control over the gene pool that produced us.....all we can do is try to mend the pieces of our broken lives as best we can....and if that means severing ties with people who are toxic to our healing, then we have to do what we have to do to stay functional.

I hope you are in good hands and that meds are helping you to stay of a fairly even keel. There is not much else to do, but as @Hockeycowboy said...talk therapy is also very cathartic. Get your feelings out and talk about them with people who understand without judging.