A Vestigial Mote
Well-Known Member
I don't believe the question of "who" you are really matters. A lot of people seem to think it does. I think the more revealing question is "what" you are. Examining the various facets of a live and lively being, to try and make heads or tails of what it is driving you, holding you back, etc.Maybe others have been in this situation before?
You know spiritually who you are and know what lay in front of you of hard work on morality, ethics, and cultivation of spiritual practice. But in daily life that's where one struggle?
Personally, I see and understand the spiritual side of the being I am. But on a personal level of being a human being, this is where I struggle the most.
My fiancèe, my Doctor, and family have seen my struggle and even asked me. Tell us by your own words, Who are you? And every time I end up with being unable to answer. it always ends up where I answer I do not know.
Who am I? This is the question I can not answer.....
We all know we each have a unique, one-of-a-kind personality, thoughts, desires, goals, "dreams", etc. But what really drives and supports all that is NOT some amorphous, independent "you." I believe that "what" you are facilitates all of the rest of it. Without the "what," I don't believe there is anything at all. Once you have boiled our life's complications down to a level of activity playing out on a "meta-structure," I feel that things all become a lot more clear, questions you once had are simply removed, things that were once complicated become unbelievably simple, and how you got where you are at loses a large part of its often-times frustrating mystery.
Take, for example, the fact that males of the human species have a penis. "You" didn't purposefully select this instrument, and "you" can't fully control its wielding! There it is, between your legs, and it is there regardless whether" "you" even really want to use it or not. There are thoughts tied to it. Thoughts that "you" did not place in your mind yourself. There is innate understanding how to utilize it, in some sense, even in the person who has never talked about it with another male. It sends signals to your brain that are pleasurable, and "you" are not (fully) capable of controlling the signals. This penis is a part of the meta-structure. It was built to support the greater common good of your colony of cells - your living body. It and its uses are tied to "you" very deeply, and cannot be fully extricated. Now, in a world where one assumes that the "you" part of you (that is to say, your consciousness, thoughts, memories, etc.) is the most important thing (for instance, in a monotheistic word where God loves this "you"), such a thing as this penis and all the instincts tied to it may become very, VERY complicated indeed (for evidence, I give you the Catholic church's views on sex), but when you accept that your mind and thoughts are just another part of the whole of "what" you are - why the matter becomes an exceedingly simple one.