Fundies Say The Darndest Things

[Smoke]

FSTDT Top 100

Some of these are funny:

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?

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You are not a Christian for Christians don't accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian.

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Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic.

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I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back.
​

Some are insane:

Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing.

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There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.

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A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire.

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Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.
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Some are -- well, predictable:

Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.

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Muslims countries aren’t as interested in ID because they don’t need to deal with nearly as much atheist scum evolutionists with their evolving mind tricks. All our liberties are allowing the atheists here to destroy our society.

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Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence. Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.
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And at least one is tragic.

 

[kai]

are you having a little rant , argueing with logic against faith is sometimes baffling isnt it ,its almost psychotic some peolples befief . any way on with the game

 

[Smoke]

are you having a little rant

Just stumbled on that site and thought others might be interested in having a look.

 

[sandandfoam]

Brilliant. I especially enjoyed the kid with the magazine under his bed.

 

[rojse]

I liked this one:

"Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).

The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English."

Continued:

"If your original Hebrew disagrees with my original King James --- your original Hebrew is wrong. If your original Hebrew agrees with my original King James, your original Hebrew is right."

 

[methylatedghosts]

OMG that's funny!!!

 

[methylatedghosts]

LOL!!!! " I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

 

[methylatedghosts]

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

LOL! so much for stomach contents!!!!

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.

Does this actually deserve a response? LOL!!!

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I haven't checked that site in awhile. Most of them are quite hilarious.

 

[Mister_T]

Nothing funny about this.

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son


[Note: the boy eventually took his own life.]

Betty, Unidiversal [Comments (330)] [2006-Dec-10]

 

[doppelganger]

Nothing funny about this.

Oh my . . . . that is so tragic. Not only for the loss of her son, but the very real guilt that the poor mother is going to inflict on herself for it. She was confused about what "love" is . . . we all are sometimes . . . and it's understandable that she did what she did. Unfortunately, that confusion can have truly tragic and sad consequences, no matter how earnestly one "believes" they have the truth.

 

[doppelganger]

Unfortunately, this isn't an isolated incident.

Amazon.com: Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son: Books: Leroy Aarons

 

[Mister_T]

Oh my . . . . that is so tragic. Not only for the loss of her son, but the very real guilt that the poor mother is going to inflict on herself for it. She was confused about what "love" is . . . we all are sometimes . . . and it's understandable that she did what she did. Unfortunately, that confusion can have truly tragic and sad consequences, no matter how earnestly one "believes" they have the truth.

I agree Dopp. If you read the thread where she breaks the news to everyone, you can see she is feeling a huge amount of guilt over her son's suicide. By reading her responses you can also see she really loved her son but was like you said, confused about what love is.

Very sad story.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

As Bill stated, some are funny, some are inane, and some are tragic.

Some are downright scary:

What do the other human persons here think ?

No doubt someone will object, saying something obviously ridiculous like, but atheists are persons.

But clearly this is mistaken because anybody without a well developed belief in God is obviously not a full human person.

What could be more obvious than that ?

How many full human persons do you know without a well developed belief in God. Obviously none, because if they were full human person they would have a well developed belief in God.

Now some people might object to killing atheists for there (and obviously it is there and not thier as they are not whos but whats ) organs but think of all the full human persons that would benifit from the organs and the medical research that could be done on these non-persons.

How could anybody object, they are not human persons and if you think we should not kill them then that is just because of out dated ideas and because they must really just want people to suffer. For shame on you !

So what do people think ?

Should we kill these atheist human non-persons for the benifit of fully human persons ?

Peace,
Mystic

 

[Somkid]

Every time I see things like this I am surely amazed. I'm beginning to see the possibility of believing in god but there is no way you can ever make me believe in his followers.

 

[rojse]

Nothing funny about this.

I didn't see that one. That's tragic.

 

[Katzpur]

These were my favorites:

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK.

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims. Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

A missionary I knew watched a bullet headed for him do a RIGHT ANGLE before it got to him.

 

[Somkid]

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK.

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims. Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

A missionary I knew watched a bullet headed for him do a RIGHT ANGLE before it got to him.

I know there is no possible way to misconstrue this. No one ever said humans evolved from monkeys as we are 2 different species humans evolved form other forms of humans that were primates which have a lot in common with us. And over several BILLION years many species have come and gone there is plenty of verifiable evidence of that which most religious people with any common sense won't even try to debate somehow with a little logic they manage to find room for it in their belief with ease and are not threatened by it as they are strong in their convictions.

I don't know where you get having sex with a baby from and I am not aware of any religion in the world that would go along with that notion. I'm originally from Pennsylvania where it is still legal (but obviously odd and I'm sure not in practice) to marry at the age of 10 as long as consent is given by both parents.

Scientists don't use complex terminology to confuse anyone most words are from Latin or Greek which are the universal languages of science, medicine, mathematics, philosophy and even religion perhaps a little education is in order to understand these things however it is not to hurt anyones feelings or make them feel inferior. What is your suggestion for a word to replace Deoxyribonucleic Acid? As far as acid in our cells goes it is primarily amino acid which is harmless to organic life to spite the fact we are comprised mostly of water and salt. I fail to see your point and it is not even logical from a fundamentalist point of view; not one that would get anywhere in a real debate anyway.

As far as seeing a bullet do 90 degree turn well that is just beyond human capability...

 

[Katzpur]

I know there is no possible way to misconstrue this. No one ever said humans evolved from monkeys as we are 2 different species humans evolved form other forms of humans that were primates which have a lot in common with us. And over several BILLION years many species have come and gone there is plenty of verifiable evidence of that which most religious people with any common sense won't even try to debate somehow with a little logic they manage to find room for it in their belief with ease and are not threatened by it as they are strong in their convictions.

I don't know where you get having sex with a baby from and I am not aware of any religion in the world that would go along with that notion. I'm originally from Pennsylvania where it is still legal (but obviously odd and I'm sure not in practice) to marry at the age of 10 as long as consent is given by both parents.

Scientists don't use complex terminology to confuse anyone most words are from Latin or Greek which are the universal languages of science, medicine, mathematics, philosophy and even religion perhaps a little education is in order to understand these things however it is not to hurt anyones feelings or make them feel inferior. What is your suggestion for a word to replace Deoxyribonucleic Acid? As far as acid in our cells goes it is primarily amino acid which is harmless to organic life to spite the fact we are comprised mostly of water and salt. I fail to see your point and it is not even logical from a fundamentalist point of view; not one that would get anywhere in a real debate anyway.

As far as seeing a bullet do 90 degree turn well that is just beyond human capability...

Somkid... I was quoting from the website mentioned in the OP, for crying out loud! :biglaugh:I can't believe you thought I was stating my own point of view! I don't think anybody has ever misunderstood me quite that enormously in the nearly three years I've been posting here! You must take me for an absolute moron!

 

[GabrielWithoutWings]

LOL!!!! " I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

/sigh

That poster still frequents the same forum, and still holds strong to the same beliefs.

I used to make fun of him, but now I just shake my head at him.