Fundies Say The Darndest Things

[rojse]

A missionary I knew watched a bullet headed for him do a RIGHT ANGLE before it got to him.

God intervened so that the bullet shot the missionary?

 

[Katzpur]

God intervened so that the bullet shot the missionary?

LOL! For a minute, I thought you'd misunderstood me too!

 

[Somkid]

Somkid... I was quoting from the website mentioned in the OP, for crying out loud! :biglaugh:I can't believe you thought I was stating my own point of view! I don't think anybody has ever misunderstood me quite that enormously in the nearly three years I've been posting here! You must take me for an absolute moron!

Oh my Buddha, I am soooooooooo sorry I couldn't believe that anyone could be that stupid (no offense to the people that are you can't read this anyway)!!!!!!!! Well, ya got me with the 90 degree bullet, I thought it was a typo.

 

[Katzpur]

Oh my Buddha, I am soooooooooo sorry I couldn't believe that anyone could be that stupid (no offense to the people that are you can't read this anyway)!!!!!!!!

Whew!

 

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

are you having a little rant , argueing with logic against faith is sometimes baffling isnt it ,its almost psychotic some peolples befief . any way on with the game

C'mon, lighten up, kai. You gotta admit that there are some serious misconceptions that the quoted fundies have chosen to put forth. Humans evolving from monkeys (which they didn't), gays can be changed (which they can't), faith healing is the only true medicine (which it isn't), etc. What's crazy is that in America, these very values that are being pushed upon those who choose to see past them.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Nothing funny about this.

Yes, some of them are tragic, and some of them make me thankful they are too loony to be politicians.

But, alot are inane and funny.

Pagans havebeen persecuted like every group at some point in history.

But Pagans were never persecuted by Chritsians.
Only by Catholics and protestants in the USA.

There is a difference between Catholics , protestants, and Christian you know that right??

One of the most controversial subjects in America's churches today is pants on women; but there is NO controversy if you believe the Bible. 1st Timothy 2:9 clearly instructs women to dress MODESTLY, i.e., of good behavior. A woman's clothing says MUCH about her character. I guarantee you that women who approve of abortion (i.e., murder) also see no problem with women wearing pants. It's more than coincidence in a nation where most women scoff and laugh at the notion of women dressing modestly, that 48,000,000 of those same women have murdered their own children through abortion. If you don't want to listen to the Bible, then here's proof from the unsaved world why pants on women are sin.

im sure the us navy could build such a vessel. the point is the wouldnt because they see no need to do so. also, the biggest US navy aircraft carriers are of a similar size to what the ark was meant to be, so you are talking ********.

Anybody that has been truly saved and really and truly know who Jesus Christ is will NOT ever, for any reason, give that up.
I know 2 people who used to be Baptist.....so they say they were...and have converted to Jehovah Witnesses. I also believe they would not have converted if they had been truly saved and had their faith grounded in Jesus and the Bible. It just won't happen with a true Christian.

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.

By the way, without him, I don't have any power. But with Him, the Bible tells me, I really can do all things – and so can you.

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.

But there are quite a few obviously fake ones. Even one "real church" sign that came from churchsigngenerator.com

 

[PureX]

As far as seeing a bullet do 90 degree turn well that is just beyond human capability...

Not to mention the bullet's! *hehehe*

 

[rojse]

LOL! For a minute, I thought you'd misunderstood me too!

Well, the way it reads, it sounds like God intervened so that the bullet would not miss the missionary.

Can't have those pesky missionaries getting around.

 

[Troublemane]

LoL, this thread is great. I love that link Midnight, especially now we know what you atheists are secretly planning:

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ******* eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?

 

[Troublemane]

this one is awesome (tears streaming from laughter)

so you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn't fear god's judgement i would have killed many many times.