Disgusting, sexually charged misogyny

[an anarchist]

Rant incoming

So, I work in a restaurant. Typically, it's mostly guys working in the kitchen while the customer service side of things is more mixed gender.

A big topic of discussion amongst males is which female they would like to "smash". Everytime a new girl is hired, every guy immediately comes together with their assessments on her physique and their determination on whether they want to have sex with her or not.

First off, low standard for sex I think. Based off look alone? C'mon. Well I guess most guys really are that shallow.

But like, they don't even see the girl as another equal person it seems. They care nothing about her. Not about her interests, beliefs, or ambitions. Her sole reason for being their is sex... if the guys have their way.

It's a rampant misogynistic attitude that I have come across at nearly every place I've worked at. It makes me disgusted, because I see these guys chumming it up with the girls acting like they aren't after one thing only. I would hate to be female, because I wouldn't trust that any guy talking to me wasn't secretly thinking I'm just going to be a whore for them. It seems like the expectation of most males, from my male pov.

Idk I just wanted to vent about it. I got some guilt I'm not completely innocent. Like the guys come up to me with their questions, and well I'm a dog too so half the time I'm like "Hell yea I would " instead of sticking up for the opposite gender and shutting down their nasty attitudes. This past week I've been copping out easy though by saying I'm planning on being a monk now so putang is no longer for me.

 

[exchemist]

Rant incoming

So, I work in a restaurant. Typically, it's mostly guys working in the kitchen while the customer service side of things is more mixed gender.

A big topic of discussion amongst males is which female they would like to "smash". Everytime a new girl is hired, every guy immediately comes together with their assessments on her physique and their determination on whether they want to have sex with her or not.

First off, low standard for sex I think. Based off look alone? C'mon. Well I guess most guys really are that shallow.

But like, they don't even see the girl as another equal person it seems. They care nothing about her. Not about her interests, beliefs, or ambitions. Her sole reason for being their is sex... if the guys have their way.

It's a rampant misogynistic attitude that I have come across at nearly every place I've worked at. It makes me disgusted, because I see these guys chumming it up with the girls acting like they aren't after one thing only. I would hate to be female, because I wouldn't trust that any guy talking to me wasn't secretly thinking I'm just going to be a whore for them. It seems like the expectation of most males, from my male pov.

Idk I just wanted to vent about it. I got some guilt I'm not completely innocent. Like the guys come up to me with their questions, and well I'm a dog too so half the time I'm like "Hell yea I would " instead of sticking up for the opposite gender and shutting down their nasty attitudes. This past week I've been copping out easy though by saying I'm planning on being a monk now so putang is no longer for me.

Yeah, sounds pretty neanderthal - on 2nd thoughts that's probably unfair to neanderthals: perhaps I'm being subspeciesist. It seems to come from environments in which a primitive, swaggering, macho male culture is allowed to take hold. In the UK we've had recent scandals involving the London police and fire service of this kind of behaviour. It's what they call "canteen culture".

It seems to be a long and hard road to stamp this out in the whole of society, but I think one has to blame management a lot of the time. I remember when I worked on an oil refinery back in the 80s, there was a fair amount of this, with pictures of naked women on the walls of mess rooms etc. But when women actually arrived on site (for a while I went out with one of the first female refinery technologists) and the management made clear the girlie pics had to go and any bad behaviour would not be tolerated, it vanished pretty fast. Men can be civilised if they know that is what is expected.

What supervision is there of the kitchen staff where you work and why don't they intervene?

 

[an anarchist]

What supervision is there of the kitchen staff where you work and why don't they intervene?

Psssshhh some management I've worked under are just as involved in the talk as the rest of the cooks. My current management is female mostly, so they are often the subject of conversation. The one male manager is new and a Jehovah Witness so I doubt he partakes in those types of talks lol.

 

[exchemist]

Psssshhh some management I've worked under are just as involved in the talk as the rest of the cooks. My current management is female mostly, so they are often the subject of conversation. The one male manager is new and a Jehovah Witness so I doubt he partakes in those types of talks lol.

Maybe the JW is the man to raise standards a bit, then. You may well find, if you get one or two of the guys on their own, that they find it all a bit boorish and tedious, just as you do, but go along because they want to "fit in". You might find you can get to a point at which you can ask if they can please give it a break and have some in the group who will agree with you.

But it sounds as if the managers aren't close enough to the action to realise what's going on under their noses.

 

[Estro Felino]

Well...I guess it depends on how they act upon it.

Because my female friends and I also gossip about men, their physique, and one of them considers them like preys, at times.

But it's just talking. None of us has ever wanted just a one night stand...or something.

 

[Estro Felino]

I have remarked something about men:

- If a woman is a nympho that is sexually available, men are afraid of her, and flee from her. Even if she looks like Miss Universe.

- If a woman is very sophisticated, misandric, selective, picky, men chase her obsessively...even if she doesn't look that pretty.


Us women are much more pragmatic and simple-minded: if we think he is cute, we date him.
I guess God created Eve after realizing how quirky and complex Adam was.

 

[Sand Dancer]

Smash? This is the new term for it now? Like the term "hit" wasn't bad enough.

 

[Heyo]

Rant incoming

So, I work in a restaurant. Typically, it's mostly guys working in the kitchen while the customer service side of things is more mixed gender.

A big topic of discussion amongst males is which female they would like to "smash". Everytime a new girl is hired, every guy immediately comes together with their assessments on her physique and their determination on whether they want to have sex with her or not.

First off, low standard for sex I think. Based off look alone? C'mon. Well I guess most guys really are that shallow.

But like, they don't even see the girl as another equal person it seems. They care nothing about her. Not about her interests, beliefs, or ambitions. Her sole reason for being their is sex... if the guys have their way.

It's a rampant misogynistic attitude that I have come across at nearly every place I've worked at. It makes me disgusted, because I see these guys chumming it up with the girls acting like they aren't after one thing only. I would hate to be female, because I wouldn't trust that any guy talking to me wasn't secretly thinking I'm just going to be a whore for them. It seems like the expectation of most males, from my male pov.

Idk I just wanted to vent about it. I got some guilt I'm not completely innocent. Like the guys come up to me with their questions, and well I'm a dog too so half the time I'm like "Hell yea I would " instead of sticking up for the opposite gender and shutting down their nasty attitudes. This past week I've been copping out easy though by saying I'm planning on being a monk now so putang is no longer for me.

Boys will be boys.

 

[metis]

Rant incoming

So, I work in a restaurant. Typically, it's mostly guys working in the kitchen while the customer service side of things is more mixed gender.

A big topic of discussion amongst males is which female they would like to "smash". Everytime a new girl is hired, every guy immediately comes together with their assessments on her physique and their determination on whether they want to have sex with her or not.

First off, low standard for sex I think. Based off look alone? C'mon. Well I guess most guys really are that shallow.

But like, they don't even see the girl as another equal person it seems. They care nothing about her. Not about her interests, beliefs, or ambitions. Her sole reason for being their is sex... if the guys have their way.

It's a rampant misogynistic attitude that I have come across at nearly every place I've worked at. It makes me disgusted, because I see these guys chumming it up with the girls acting like they aren't after one thing only. I would hate to be female, because I wouldn't trust that any guy talking to me wasn't secretly thinking I'm just going to be a whore for them. It seems like the expectation of most males, from my male pov.

Idk I just wanted to vent about it. I got some guilt I'm not completely innocent. Like the guys come up to me with their questions, and well I'm a dog too so half the time I'm like "Hell yea I would " instead of sticking up for the opposite gender and shutting down their nasty attitudes. This past week I've been copping out easy though by saying I'm planning on being a monk now so putang is no longer for me.

My wife waitressed for 30 years, and she would agree with you on this, although not all men participated in it.

 

[Revoltingest]

Rant incoming

So, I work in a restaurant. Typically, it's mostly guys working in the kitchen while the customer service side of things is more mixed gender.

A big topic of discussion amongst males is which female they would like to "smash". Everytime a new girl is hired, every guy immediately comes together with their assessments on her physique and their determination on whether they want to have sex with her or not.

First off, low standard for sex I think. Based off look alone? C'mon. Well I guess most guys really are that shallow.

But like, they don't even see the girl as another equal person it seems. They care nothing about her. Not about her interests, beliefs, or ambitions. Her sole reason for being their is sex... if the guys have their way.

It's a rampant misogynistic attitude that I have come across at nearly every place I've worked at. It makes me disgusted, because I see these guys chumming it up with the girls acting like they aren't after one thing only. I would hate to be female, because I wouldn't trust that any guy talking to me wasn't secretly thinking I'm just going to be a whore for them. It seems like the expectation of most males, from my male pov.

Idk I just wanted to vent about it. I got some guilt I'm not completely innocent. Like the guys come up to me with their questions, and well I'm a dog too so half the time I'm like "Hell yea I would " instead of sticking up for the opposite gender and shutting down their nasty attitudes. This past week I've been copping out easy though by saying I'm planning on being a monk now so putang is no longer for me.

When I worked in a restaurant (1970), I never heard anything
so extreme. Never heard it in any other workplace either.
I must run with a better crowd.

 

[syo]

A big topic of discussion amongst males is which female they would like to "smash".

They are either in their 20s or 30s. Above 40 is problematic because the brain ages fast.

 

[JustGeorge]

I've worked with groups of all men, and groups of all women, and bawdy talk existed in both groups. It wasn't usually as immature as what you're suggesting here, but there was definitely discussions of "would I hit that"(because, like @Sand Dancer said, that's how it was stated back then). It wasn't a middle school game like what you've laid out here, though I'd argue it was probably about as inappropriate.

Maybe the JW is the man to raise standards a bit, then. You may well find, if you get one or two of the guys on their own, that they find it all a bit boorish and tedious, just as you do, but go along because they want to "fit in". You might find you can get to a point at which you can ask if they can please give it a break and have some in the group who will agree with you.

But it sounds as if the managers aren't close enough to the action to realise what's going on under their noses.

I do think there's an expectation from men towards other men, that if they're acting like an ape, others oughta follow suit.

My husband's rather conservative(I mean that in a social sense, not getting into politics). However, he looks like a biker, so its a bit unexpected. A neighbor was telling him how he'd gotten a job as a bouncer at a local strip club. My husband let him yammer on, nodded now and then, didn't say much. Clearly, this is not the response the man wanted, and he poked for more. "Don't you just think that's awesome?" he asked.

Finally, he let loose. "Actually, I think that's disgusting." My husband spent the next 5 minutes ranting about how trashy he thought such a place was, and not only was he not impressed, he was certain the neighbor would catch a disease from working in such a place.

"Oh" was all the guy managed to say to that, and quickly changed the subject.

Well, he did ask for it. If he hadn't prodded, my husband would have said nothing at all.

 

[crossfire]

Rant incoming

So, I work in a restaurant. Typically, it's mostly guys working in the kitchen while the customer service side of things is more mixed gender.

A big topic of discussion amongst males is which female they would like to "smash". Everytime a new girl is hired, every guy immediately comes together with their assessments on her physique and their determination on whether they want to have sex with her or not.

First off, low standard for sex I think. Based off look alone? C'mon. Well I guess most guys really are that shallow.

But like, they don't even see the girl as another equal person it seems. They care nothing about her. Not about her interests, beliefs, or ambitions. Her sole reason for being their is sex... if the guys have their way.

It's a rampant misogynistic attitude that I have come across at nearly every place I've worked at. It makes me disgusted, because I see these guys chumming it up with the girls acting like they aren't after one thing only. I would hate to be female, because I wouldn't trust that any guy talking to me wasn't secretly thinking I'm just going to be a whore for them. It seems like the expectation of most males, from my male pov.

Idk I just wanted to vent about it. I got some guilt I'm not completely innocent. Like the guys come up to me with their questions, and well I'm a dog too so half the time I'm like "Hell yea I would " instead of sticking up for the opposite gender and shutting down their nasty attitudes. This past week I've been copping out easy though by saying I'm planning on being a monk now so putang is no longer for me.

It's pretty rampant in all the places I've worked as well. I make it clear that that sort of thing is off the table amongst my co-workers, but even then some of my (male) customers have gone to my management saying that I get sexually harassed by my co-workers. Some guys will even treat their female co-workers like a commodity and try to set them up with other men in their network who work at different locations. I always let those guys know that that sort of thing is off the table as well, and leave it at that. It's not that I don't like men, it's just that I'm not interested in that sort of thing.

 

[Estro Felino]

When I worked in a restaurant (1970), I never heard anything
so extreme. Never heard it in any other workplace either.
I must run with a better crowd.

In a clothes shop I have heard much worse than that.
But it was about men commenting about other men's physique.

 

[Heyo]

Some guys will even treat their female co-workers like a commodity and try to set them up with other men in their network who work at different locations.

That is a whole other thing. Talking trash doesn't really harm anyone. I do it tongue in cheek, though never behind women's back. Acting like trash is at best juvenile.

 

[Alien826]

I do think there's an expectation from men towards other men, that if they're acting like an ape, others oughta follow suit.

How about throwing poo at people, is that OK?

 

[JustGeorge]

How about throwing poo at people, is that OK?

Of course. What else would a person do with their time?

 

[exchemist]

I've worked with groups of all men, and groups of all women, and bawdy talk existed in both groups. It wasn't usually as immature as what you're suggesting here, but there was definitely discussions of "would I hit that"(because, like @Sand Dancer said, that's how it was stated back then). It wasn't a middle school game like what you've laid out here, though I'd argue it was probably about as inappropriate.




I do think there's an expectation from men towards other men, that if they're acting like an ape, others oughta follow suit.

My husband's rather conservative(I mean that in a social sense, not getting into politics). However, he looks like a biker, so its a bit unexpected. A neighbor was telling him how he'd gotten a job as a bouncer at a local strip club. My husband let him yammer on, nodded now and then, didn't say much. Clearly, this is not the response the man wanted, and he poked for more. "Don't you just think that's awesome?" he asked.

Finally, he let loose. "Actually, I think that's disgusting." My husband spent the next 5 minutes ranting about how trashy he thought such a place was, and not only was he not impressed, he was certain the neighbor would catch a disease from working in such a place.

"Oh" was all the guy managed to say to that, and quickly changed the subject.

Well, he did ask for it. If he hadn't prodded, my husband would have said nothing at all.

Well that's exactly it. Men can feel the need to fit in with the tribe, regardless of what they really feel comfortable with, so a lot of change can be effected by setting the tone for the tribe in the right way.

You actually see the inverse of this with Trump. He sets out to lower standards and get everyone hating one another - and it is men mostly that go along with it. A responsible politician tries to lead by raising the standards of debate and interaction with others, not lowering them.

 

[PureX]

They're bloviating to impress the other guys. It has nothng to do with the girls, really. Or reality either, for that matter.

 

[Estro Felino]

They're bloviating to impress the other guys. It has nothng to do with the girls, really. Or reality either, for that matter.

Exactly.
What males do here.
They catcall beautiful girls on the streets who wear revealing clothes, but won't turn words into deeds.
Since they do it just to impress their pals, and to show how virile they are.