My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant in recent weeks, now when i pee it cleans the toilet.
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Coronapocalypse humor
- Thread starter sun rise
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When i was a kid the Scotts were known as being frugal (take note @Revoltingest ). There was a joke...
"How can you tell which is Jimmies (a schoolboy of Scottish ancestry) house"
"I don't know, how can you tell which is Jimmies house?"
"Look out for the toilet paper drying on the washing line"
dybmh
דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
Drying on the line. That's next level, Christine.
Heyo
Veteran Member
It must be true because I heard the same.
Though we have our own Scots here. The Swabians are said to be descendants of Scots who have been evicted from Scotland for being too stingy.
Do you know why Scots like velcro wallets?
Cuz they cry when opened.
A guy was admitted to hospital with flu like symptoms and in serious respatory distress.
The following day, he was laying in bed, feeling very poorly and with an oxygen mask over his face.
A nurse walked in "Hello, I am here to give you a bed bath"
With that she pushed the sheets down to his lower stomach, tugged up his beautiful blue and green striped hospital robe and began to bathe his chest.
The man mumbled "Are... my..... testicles.... black?"
The nurse, said. "Sorry, i am only here to bathe your chest, arms, lower legs and feet. I will ask a doctor to call in after his rounds and check"
She finished washing his upper body and before covering him the man gasped again, "please,.. are... my.... testicles.. black?"
He was showing some distress so the nurse pulled the bed cover lower, took hold of his member in one hand and gently lifted his testicles and examined them.
"No" she said, "they look perfectly normal to me"
The man reached up and removed the mask, slowly and breathing with difficulty he said, "that.. was... very.... nice.... but.. listen.. carefully... Are my.... test..... results.. back"
The following day, he was laying in bed, feeling very poorly and with an oxygen mask over his face.
A nurse walked in "Hello, I am here to give you a bed bath"
With that she pushed the sheets down to his lower stomach, tugged up his beautiful blue and green striped hospital robe and began to bathe his chest.
The man mumbled "Are... my..... testicles.... black?"
The nurse, said. "Sorry, i am only here to bathe your chest, arms, lower legs and feet. I will ask a doctor to call in after his rounds and check"
She finished washing his upper body and before covering him the man gasped again, "please,.. are... my.... testicles.. black?"
He was showing some distress so the nurse pulled the bed cover lower, took hold of his member in one hand and gently lifted his testicles and examined them.
"No" she said, "they look perfectly normal to me"
The man reached up and removed the mask, slowly and breathing with difficulty he said, "that.. was... very.... nice.... but.. listen.. carefully... Are my.... test..... results.. back"
Breaking news!
Secretly filmed footage of the conspiracy behind pandemics!
Secretly filmed footage of the conspiracy behind pandemics!
I vote Matt Groenig as God's Appointed Prophet of the Apocalypse.
Tom
Thanks for the great belly laugh.
Its Coronageddon and the TPocalypse, and we must all beware of the power of the Creased and the loss of 2/3 of our TP as if it had fallen into the Sea of Forgetfullness!!!!!!
"And I saw a white truck driven by seniors who squeezed the Charmin. And they bought the entire shelf, and they used a smile disarm'n."
"And I saw a white truck driven by seniors who squeezed the Charmin. And they bought the entire shelf, and they used a smile disarm'n."
Milton Platt
Well-Known Member
dybmh
דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
A multi-purpose festivus pole... nice.