We’ve all had the experience of saying something we regret, wishing the floor would swallow us up whole, or momentarily wishing we were flexible enough from yoga to literally insert our foot into our mouth. But beyond blunders and bloopers, we’ve all struggled to effectively communicate and be heard by others. If you are reading this, you may be wondering when and whether mindfulness can help.
Mindful and compassionate speaking isn’t just an ethical choice—mindful speech is simply more effective. What’s more, these guidelines are useful online, where anonymity and impulsivity can bring out less than the best in humanity. Practicing mindful speech may prove challenging, but the rewards of effective and positive communication that causes less harm to everyone are well worth it.
"If you made a mistake, apologize. If you are thankful, say it. If you are confused, ask questions. If you learn something, teach it. If you are stuck, ask for help. If you are wrong, admit it. If you can unselfishly give, give. If you love someone, tell them, now"
I know. You’re busy, and finding the time to take proper care of yourself can be hard. But if you don’t, it won’t be long before you’re battered from exhaustion and operating in a mental fog where it’s hard to care about anything or anyone.
I should know.
A few years ago, I had a corporate job in London, working a regular sixty-hour week. I enjoyed working with my clients and colleagues, and I wanted to do well.
But I had no life.
I rarely took care of myself, and I was always focused on goals, achievements, and meeting the excessive expectations I had of myself. My high tolerance for discomfort meant I juggled all the balls I had in the air—but at the expense of being a well-rounded human being.
So I made an unusual choice. I quit my job and moved to Thailand to work in a freelance capacity across many different countries and companies, which enabled me to set my own hours and engagements.
Sometimes self-care is about knowing when you’re getting overloaded or overwhelmed, and responding with micro habits that prevent all-out burnout, says Cynthia Ackrill, MD, a wellness and leadership coach based in Asheville, North Carolina.
For example, she says, are you starting to withdraw from friends? Are you sitting in traffic swearing? Getting more headaches or stomachaches lately? She calls this learning from what you consider to be your overwhelmed “emoji” key. (We all have a unique one that resonates with us, right?) When you feel the need to text that emoji to everyone on your contact list, take it as a cue to ask yourself what you need. Maybe you need to roll your shoulders a few times and then go take a short walk. “It’s about building up an awareness and having the self-knowledge to check in and adjust,” she says.
Getting older involves changes in all realms of life, from the physical to the mental to the social, emotional, sexual, and more. Some of these changes you may regard as positive and some negative. The challenge is to maximize the good parts of getting older while taking proactive steps to maintain your health and minimize the negative aspects.
DailyTao.org The Book of The Way, Day by Day Wednesday, 13 July, 2022 | 44
Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness: which is more valuable?
Success or failure: which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
“Empathy is really the opposite of spiritual meanness. It’s the capacity to understand that every war is both won and lost. And that someone else’s pain is as meaningful as your own.”
"Mindfully accepting our painful feelings is an essential prerequisite to supporting ourselves with kindness and compassion. Accepting our pain means being willing to be present with it, not pushing it away or reacting to it." --Bodhipaksa, “Loving Pain”