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Can we all agree it is wrong for a 32yo to date a teenager?

Is it wrong for a man in his 30s to date a teenager?

  • Yes

    Votes: 16 41.0%

  • No

    Votes: 23 59.0%
  • Total voters
    39
metis

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
And I suppose some feel that it's right & proper to sexually molest a 14 year old as well as a guy who had been told to leave certain areas that teens congregate, such as a mall. But hey, if one is willing to blindly follow the Groper-In-Chief, why should they be bothered about a politician molesting a few kids here and there.
 
Milton Platt

Milton Platt

Well-Known Member
leibowde84 said:
Criminality aside, can we all just agree that it is wrong for a man in his 30s to date a teenager?
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It depends entirely upon the two people in the relationship. It does raise some questions, but it is not wrong by default. Also, you failed to define what you meant by the word "teenager".
There is a legal age under the law, and that is a different question.
 
metis

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
Scott C. said:
18-19 year old girl, maybe ok, although I would worry if it were my daughter.
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Maybe you should also worry if it's someone else's daughter as well. [I'm not being snarky, btw] Look at what just happened last week with the 17 year old in Florida who took off with her soccer coach, and then imagine if it was your daughter who did that.
 
Scott C.

Scott C.

Just one guy
metis said:
Maybe you should also worry if it's someone else's daughter as well. [I'm not being snarky, btw] Look at what just happened last week with the 17 year old in Florida who took off with her soccer coach, and then imagine if it was your daughter who did that.
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I would be concerned about any 18-19 year old girl who wanted to date a 30 something year old man. My point is simply that it might be a legitimate relationship with a well meaning man. Yes, I would freak out if the Florida incident happened to my 17 year old daughter. I assume the man committed a crime by running off with her, but I haven't looked into it.
 
leibowde84

leibowde84

Veteran Member
Milton Platt said:
It depends entirely upon the two people in the relationship. It does raise some questions, but it is not wrong by default. Also, you failed to define what you meant by the word "teenager".
There is a legal age under the law, and that is a different question.
Click to expand...
I understand that now. I came into this discussion feeling pretty strongly that it was objectively wrong for someone in their 30s to go after teenagers (I meant age 13-19 btw), but now I see that it is very subjective. I still feel that it is wrong due to the fact there is so much room for taking advantage of the teenager, but I do understand that there are exceptions to the rule. For now, I would say that 18 is an appropriate legal age, but morally speaking, I think that 21 is probably the appropriate age to not go below (anything lower would be gross). But, that is my opinion.
 
Scott C.

Scott C.

Just one guy
leibowde84 said:
I agree, and that's why I think 30 something's should just lay off teenagers in general. There are plenty of non-teenagers to go after.
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I pretty much agree. But I'm not leaving out the possibility of a 30 year old and 19 year old hitting it off in a relationship that turns into a life long and stable marriage. The 19 year old is out of High School and may be in college or the work force. She meets a single 30 year old at work and they hit it off. Like I said, I would be leary of this relationship if it happened to my 19 year old. If I got to know the guy and saw that he was a mature and responsible person, I might warm up to the idea.

But generally speaking, yes 30 somethings should stay away from teenagers, especially girls in high school! If a 30 year old considers the local high school to be the "pool" of his potential mates, then he has a big problem and girls be warned. But if it's a mentally healthy and responsbile 30 year old who falls for a 19 year old at the office, maybe he's ok and things would work out.
 
leibowde84

leibowde84

Veteran Member
Scott C. said:
I pretty much agree. But I'm not leaving out the possibility of a 30 year old and 19 year old hitting it off in a relationship that turns into a life long and stable marriage. The 19 year old is out of High School and may be in college or the work force. She meets a single 30 year old at work and they hit it off. Like I said, I would be leary of this relationship if it happened to my 19 year old. If I got to know the guy and saw that he was a mature and responsible person, I might warm up to the idea.

But generally speaking, yes 30 somethings should stay away from teenagers, especially girls in high school! If a 30 year old considers the local high school to be the "pool" of his potential mates, then he has a big problem and girls be warned. But if it's a mentally healthy and responsbile 30 year old who falls for a 19 year old at the office, maybe he's ok and things would work out.
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I can get on board with this. I think that a person who goes after high school girls in their 30s should be ashamed, no matter what though.
 
Milton Platt

Milton Platt

Well-Known Member
leibowde84 said:
I understand that now. I came into this discussion feeling pretty strongly that it was objectively wrong for someone in their 30s to go after teenagers (I meant age 13-19 btw), but now I see that it is very subjective. I still feel that it is wrong due to the fact there is so much room for taking advantage of the teenager, but I do understand that there are exceptions to the rule. For now, I would say that 18 is an appropriate legal age, but morally speaking, I think that 21 is probably the appropriate age to not go below (anything lower would be gross). But, that is my opinion.
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We all have opinions (I have far too many of them LOL) Between 18 and 30, you are really talking about 12 years. I have known quite a few couples with that age spread. It is true that late teens may have a maturity issue, and I wouldn't advocate throwing caution to the wind. I'm just saying that it is a case by case situation.
 
C

columbus

yawn <ignore> yawn
Scott C. said:
But I'm not leaving out the possibility of a 30 year old and 19 year old hitting it off in a relationship that turns into a life long and stable marriage.
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This is why I can't feel too absolute about it. What is usually true isn't always true.
3 of my 4 sisters had picked their mates by the time they were 19. One had married him. Another had picked a guy who was so much older that he was literally married to his ex-wife when she was born. Both are still happily married after 30+ years.

I am accustomed to propriety. And I know why hard edged age of consent is a necessity. But I just can't agree that it's always wrong.
Tom
 
leibowde84

leibowde84

Veteran Member
Milton Platt said:
We all have opinions (I have far too many of them LOL) Between 18 and 30, you are really talking about 12 years. I have known quite a few couples with that age spread. It is true that late teens may have a maturity issue, and I wouldn't advocate throwing caution to the wind. I'm just saying that it is a case by case situation.
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I don't think it is an issue of age difference. It is an issue of sexual maturity.
 
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