4 years. That's how long I've been seeking a path.
After my high school "angry atheist" stage passed, and after I entered college, I gave religion another chance. This was a gradual process. First I went from a strong Atheist to an agnostic Atheist; then I looked into religions/philosophies like Taoism, Confucianism, and Buddhism; then I adopted Buddhism (and consequently went from agnostic Buddhism, to religious Buddhism, to secular, back to religious, then back to agnostic which is what I take inspiration from now); then I realized that I believed in a higher power and became an Agnostic Theist (which is what I still am); then I tried Christianity again, and also looked into Islam and Judaism; then I tried Paganism; and finally tried to adopt Hinduism (first as strictly a Hindu, then as a Hindu-Buddhist, then as a Buddhist-Hindu, then back to Hindu before dropping it all together). This isn't even all of the religions I've looked into or all of the details of the one's I did.
When it comes to the religions I've studied:
Christianity- I don't believe in the divinity of Christ, nor in any of the alleged historical accuracy of the New Testament. I also think it's too fragmented and divided (rather than just simply diverse).
Islam- I don't believe in the divine revelation of the Qur'an or in the final prophethood of Mohammed. It also doesn't help that I'm gay.
Judsiam- While I like how Jews interpret their scriptures differently than Christians, and I can find more inspiration in their interpretations, there are still many things that don't jive well with me. Converting to Judaism is also a HUGE commitment and I'm not sure if I could keep it. It's embarrassing, because I messaged a couple members of the Judaism DIR about how I wanted to study Judaism more, and I had my current revelation while speaking with a Rabbi yesterday.
Buddhism- I still technically follow the philosophy, but none of the cultural baggage that comes with it. I think I tired too hard to force myself to believe the religious aspects.
Hinduism- The same as Buddhism. I tried too hard to believe the religious aspects, but still follow some of the philosophy found within.
Sikhism- It's huge emphasis on the 5 K's is ridiculous. I think how one follows a religion's teachings is more important than a religion's distinctive look. It's too based in Punjabi/Indian culture in that regard
Baha'i- I don't believe in literal divine revelation and I don't like how it's simply legalism masked as progressive theology. I also find it hypocritical that they claim to be against discrimination of all kinds, but still believe homosexuality is inherently negative.
Taoism- The philosophy is cool, but even that is partly too rooted in Chinese culture. Also, even the purely philosophical school has beliefs in divination and astrology (I don't really believe in either).
Confucianism- Holy crap it has some very sexist views.
Paganism (I'm including Wicca in this)- I agree with quite a few aspects of Paganism, but I don't have a connection with any of the pantheons. Also, for some Pagans, if nature itself is god, why not just call it nature? I also hate how many Pagans appear to have some sort of spiritual superiority over Abrahamic theists (especially Christians).
It has become just too much. On one hand, I know what I want, but on the other hand I also don't. It has gotten to the point where I simply need to stop seeking for the time being; as it has nearly consumed my life for these past few years. I just need to breathe and relax. I still believe in God, go to my local UU church, and wish to go to school for theology, but I think I'm trying too hard to pinpoint my beliefs. Why put them in a box? Why try too hard to conform to an organized set of beliefs? Eventually, a religion will just come naturally to me (if one ever does at all).
See you all around the forums.
After my high school "angry atheist" stage passed, and after I entered college, I gave religion another chance. This was a gradual process. First I went from a strong Atheist to an agnostic Atheist; then I looked into religions/philosophies like Taoism, Confucianism, and Buddhism; then I adopted Buddhism (and consequently went from agnostic Buddhism, to religious Buddhism, to secular, back to religious, then back to agnostic which is what I take inspiration from now); then I realized that I believed in a higher power and became an Agnostic Theist (which is what I still am); then I tried Christianity again, and also looked into Islam and Judaism; then I tried Paganism; and finally tried to adopt Hinduism (first as strictly a Hindu, then as a Hindu-Buddhist, then as a Buddhist-Hindu, then back to Hindu before dropping it all together). This isn't even all of the religions I've looked into or all of the details of the one's I did.
When it comes to the religions I've studied:
Christianity- I don't believe in the divinity of Christ, nor in any of the alleged historical accuracy of the New Testament. I also think it's too fragmented and divided (rather than just simply diverse).
Islam- I don't believe in the divine revelation of the Qur'an or in the final prophethood of Mohammed. It also doesn't help that I'm gay.
Judsiam- While I like how Jews interpret their scriptures differently than Christians, and I can find more inspiration in their interpretations, there are still many things that don't jive well with me. Converting to Judaism is also a HUGE commitment and I'm not sure if I could keep it. It's embarrassing, because I messaged a couple members of the Judaism DIR about how I wanted to study Judaism more, and I had my current revelation while speaking with a Rabbi yesterday.
Buddhism- I still technically follow the philosophy, but none of the cultural baggage that comes with it. I think I tired too hard to force myself to believe the religious aspects.
Hinduism- The same as Buddhism. I tried too hard to believe the religious aspects, but still follow some of the philosophy found within.
Sikhism- It's huge emphasis on the 5 K's is ridiculous. I think how one follows a religion's teachings is more important than a religion's distinctive look. It's too based in Punjabi/Indian culture in that regard
Baha'i- I don't believe in literal divine revelation and I don't like how it's simply legalism masked as progressive theology. I also find it hypocritical that they claim to be against discrimination of all kinds, but still believe homosexuality is inherently negative.
Taoism- The philosophy is cool, but even that is partly too rooted in Chinese culture. Also, even the purely philosophical school has beliefs in divination and astrology (I don't really believe in either).
Confucianism- Holy crap it has some very sexist views.
Paganism (I'm including Wicca in this)- I agree with quite a few aspects of Paganism, but I don't have a connection with any of the pantheons. Also, for some Pagans, if nature itself is god, why not just call it nature? I also hate how many Pagans appear to have some sort of spiritual superiority over Abrahamic theists (especially Christians).
It has become just too much. On one hand, I know what I want, but on the other hand I also don't. It has gotten to the point where I simply need to stop seeking for the time being; as it has nearly consumed my life for these past few years. I just need to breathe and relax. I still believe in God, go to my local UU church, and wish to go to school for theology, but I think I'm trying too hard to pinpoint my beliefs. Why put them in a box? Why try too hard to conform to an organized set of beliefs? Eventually, a religion will just come naturally to me (if one ever does at all).
See you all around the forums.