Spiderman
Veteran Member
That is very sadI am so sorry to hear how you feel. I have longed for death at times but I was able to work through it by getting help I needed until I was able to cope better. My life is nothing to write home to mom about mostly because of what I have to deal with with my husband now, but I just try to do the best I can to get through each day.
Suicide was no solution for me because I know death is not the end of life, only the end of physical life. I don't look forward to the afterlife even though it is glorious according to my beliefs because I do not like change even if it is better.
My husband is suicidal because of his physical pain but I cannot understand how his kind of physical pain owing to an enlarged prostate and painful urination warrants suicide so I believe it is really depression. He saw that urologist yesterday and got three new prescriptions so he felt better about that for a few hours but now his is right back to feeling hopeless. Next week we see his primary care doctor and has an intake appointment with the psych assessment. He has lost so much weight if he loses any more he will die of starvation. I have no help from anyone because I have no family or friends so I have to depend upon the health care system and God for help.
I offer up my suffering and prayers for you and your husband as well.
This life is a crucifixion and humiliation for countless people out there. I feel helpless to make much difference in an agonizing world that seems to be getting worse.
But I appreciate your story, to know what others go through, I'm not alone, and God loves you and your husband, and God is close to those who carry the cross and suffer!