Pray that I die soon. I am ready!

[JustGeorge]

I think kids sometimes could help give meaning and comfort to life too sometimes. Kids can be a blessing I bet, just a lot of work.

People can be a lot of work in general. Kids are just a specific kind of work... they want you to peel their oranges and snap their train tracks together. They also like to fight you on eating their potatoes, and turn changing their socks into a monumental task. However, to me, the work is of a mostly positive nature.

Adults create work, too, and that work differs as well, depending on your relationship with them.

If the chest pain doesn't go away, I won't be sleeping, but I just took a gabapentin and ibuprofen. That is supposed to help a little.

I just feel so sorry for sick or injured, scared, or agonizing people in Ukraine right now. Suffering makes me more sensitive to what others go through. It is like sharing some of the burden I suppose!

Some Saints have looked at it that way, like bearing with other people's crosses and afflictions!

Sometimes suffering does help you better relate to others...

I hope you're sleeping now.

 

[RestlessSoul]

I’m sorry you have to suffer. All this will pass, in it’s own time - meanwhile, offer it all to God - the pain, the fear, the restlessness, all of it. He has a plan for you, and it clearly doesn’t involve you dying just yet, because if it did, you’d already be dead.

With everything you’ve been through, think of all the people you will be able to help in the future, as you continue to get well. You’ve already begun that journey back to health, so don’t give up now; it’s all going to be alright.

God loves you, and so do we; even the ones who don’t believe in God, believe in you. That’s how God works, through people, and especially for some strange reason, through broken people like you. So stick around little bro; you have work to do before you rest.

 

[Spiderman]

People can be a lot of work in general. Kids are just a specific kind of work... they want you to peel their oranges and snap their train tracks together. They also like to fight you on eating their potatoes, and turn changing their socks into a monumental task. However, to me, the work is of a mostly positive nature.

Adults create work, too, and that work differs as well, depending on your relationship with them.



Sometimes suffering does help you better relate to others...

I hope you're sleeping now.

Sleeping is on and off! It's 2:32 am here. I go in and out of consciousness!

 

[Spiderman]

I’m sorry you have to suffer. All this will pass, in it’s own time - meanwhile, offer it all to God - the pain, the fear, the restlessness, all of it. He has a plan for you, and it clearly doesn’t involve you dying just yet, because if it did, you’d already be dead.

With everything you’ve been through, think of all the people you will be able to help in the future, as you continue to get well. You’ve already begun that journey back to health, so don’t give up now; it’s all going to be alright.

God loves you, and so do we; even the ones who don’t believe in God, believe in you. That’s how God works, through people, and especially for some strange reason, through broken people like you. So stick around little bro; you have work to do before you rest.

Thank you! That was very helpful!

 

[Spiderman]

Sleeping is on and off! It's 2:32 am here. I go in and out of consciousness!

It's 3:44 Am now. I'm wide awake, It feels like worms and maggots are crawling inside my chest! It's super annoying!

It's definitely not like any flu I have ever had!

I will get through this, have a higher tolerance to pain, and be able to weather greater storms in the future, right @JustGeorge ?

The more I suffer, the higher my tolerance to suffering grows, so I can carry more heavy crosses, and endure greater pain and sorrow in the future. I think that is often how it works? Resistance builds strength!

It's just so annoying feeling like another annoying, disturbing, painful entity is living inside my chest, a deep, unfathomable, incomprehensible pain I have never experienced before!

I don't know if I have the same virus your family caught George, but it is strange that your family and I, are both feeling sick at the same time!

 

[Twilight Hue]

I'm sorry. I need to vent some times. I'm suicidal a lot. So, it comes out every few months.

But I have lots of things to say at this forum that are positive too, or at least not negative.

Yes, I love spring and summer, and am far more happy then, than I am during winter.

But I kind of consistently feel I'm ready to get diagnosed with cancer, and have no responsibilities, but to prepare for death
.


Life has enormous beauty. I love Capitol Hill, the cathedral , shrines honoring deceased heroes nearby. I have had great experiences with the supernatural and spirits, Angels, and God, or what appears to be them, paranormal supernatural activity. But maybe I'm just crazy like people say, and delusional.

I'm very grateful for it. But life involves a chronic pain, sorrow, aches, responsibilities, change, loss, poverty, weakness, disappointment, temptations, anger, annoyances, and agony, I just don't want to deal with.

I would much rather be dead!

I would think both death and life are over rated.

If I was you, I would just slow down and enjoy the immediate amenities that life has to offer while looking forward to any and all eventualities. There's something to be said for putting on the brakes once in a while and remain in one's inner circle.

 

[Spiderman]

I would think both death and life are over rated.

If I was you, I would just slow down and enjoy the immediate amenities that life has to offer while looking forward to any and all eventualities. There's something to be said for putting on the brakes once in a while and remain in one's inner circle.

Thank you, but when the present moment means writhing in pain and agony in bed, like a helpless worm that got cut in half with a shovel, and when you are all alone, in the ghetto (my apartment), and no healthy friends or family near by, it's very hard to enjoy torture, writhing in agony.

It's currently 4:22 am here , and I cannot sleep! But I will pray for the grace to love suffering!

 

[Spiderman]

I don't live in my ghetto apartment, but will very soon, and it will be frightening, living there in this condition!

 

[Twilight Hue]

Thank you, but when the present moment means writhing in pain and agony in bed, like a helpless worm that got cut in half with a shovel, and when you are all alone, in the ghetto (my apartment), and no healthy friends or family near by, it's very hard to enjoy torture, writhing in agony.

It's currently 4:22 am here , and I cannot sleep! But I will pray for the grace to love suffering!

Well, life is pain.

I don't think death is really long enough before the next bout occurs, so I came to the resignation that it's just how nature rolls and try not to get too traumatized over it and roll along with it.

For me no pain is forever, so I try to normalize the experience while it's ongoing with the knowledge it's not something that is forever. I also gave up on fighting the experience as well.

I think you would be in a much better position if one adjusts accordingly while traversing through hell.

It's why I stopped being suicidal minded once I approached mid life.

But it's your decision all the same. That's how life rolls as well, but you will miss out on knowing if eventualities will improve or not. For me I just had to know, so I put myself in a role as an engaged observer rather than experiencer.

 

[Spiderman]

Well, life is pain.

I don't think death is really long enough before the next bout occurs, so I came to the resignation that it's just how nature rolls and try not to get too traumatized over it and roll along with it.

For me no pain is forever, so I try to normalize the experience while it's ongoing with the knowledge it's not something that is forever. I also gave up on fighting the experience as well.

I think you would be in a much better position if one adjusts accordingly while traversing through hell.

It's why I stopped being suicidal minded once I approached mid life.

But it's your decision all the same. That's how life rolls as well, but you will miss out on knowing if eventualities will improve or not. For me I just had to know, so I put myself in a role as an engaged observer rather than experiencer.

Great wisdom there!

I'll try not to get traumatized, roll with it, even love and embrace my cross!

I'm sorry for complaining.

It is a relief sometimes to vent, but I'm sorry for complaining at the same time!

I'm trying to describe how it feels, and it's hard to explain a torment worse than death, and feeling tortured, when no one is torturing you!

But I can be grateful for so much , and stop worrying about things I can't control, not regret the past, not worry about the future!

 

[Spiderman]

It is 6:16 AM in Saint Paul. Basically a sleepless night, but I think I lost consciousness at one point.

It shall be an interesting day I suppose.

 

[JustGeorge]

It's 3:44 Am now. I'm wide awake, It feels like worms and maggots are crawling inside my chest! It's super annoying!

It's definitely not like any flu I have ever had!

I will get through this, have a higher tolerance to pain, and be able to weather greater storms in the future, right @JustGeorge ?

The more I suffer, the higher my tolerance to suffering grows, so I can carry more heavy crosses, and endure greater pain and sorrow in the future. I think that is often how it works? Resistance builds strength!

It's just so annoying feeling like another annoying, disturbing, painful entity is living inside my chest, a deep, unfathomable, incomprehensible pain I have never experienced before!

I don't know if I have the same virus your family caught George, but it is strange that your family and I, are both feeling sick at the same time!

This was nasty stuff! I never get sick, but this took me down... and I couldn't even rest, both because I kept waking up from pain and nausea, and because I had to keep tending to everyone else. One night I didn't sleep more than two hours, because I had to keep Yudhi cool(who was spiking a high fever).

It will go away, though. I still find it exhausting to do even little things, but this is the first morning in over a week I laid my rangoli on the floor. (This is a rangoli, though mine is simpler

It is 6:16 AM in Saint Paul. Basically a sleepless night, but I think I lost consciousness at one point.

It shall be an interesting day I suppose.

I think its a great day for a nap.

 

[Luchito Prays]

If others pray for you to die, then the God might ask to each one of them, "what is wrong with you?

No one is supposed to pray for you to die.

Think and try a different way for receiving the support of others. Like to find better alternatives so you can be with us for long time.

Just give a try doing it differently, I think it's worthy.