Ever realize that "Dating" is a practice for divorce?

[epronovost]

Do you have any scientific evidence to this assertion? Just curious.

That's not a scientific observation; that's my opinion. Arranged marriage are emotionally shallow and manipulative. They are a form of sexual slavery in accord with international law and statuses on slavery and an anti-humanist practice. People should be free to marry and divorce whoever they want for reasons that are their own.

 

[firedragon]

That's not a scientific observation; that's my opinion.

Okay. thanks for the clarification.

I was thinking that since you ask others for scientific evidence for everything, maybe you had some scientific evidence to your claims.

No worries. Thanks for the clarification.

Cheers.

 

[firedragon]

Arranged marriage are emotionally shallow and manipulative.

Any scientific evidence?

 

[epronovost]

Any scientific evidence?

That what still my opinion (as I clearly mentioned), but since you insist so much here's some scientific studies that would support my personal opinion on marriage and couple relationships.

https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/714272

Here is a study from the university of Chicago that mentions that women in arranged marriage situation are more at risk from domestic violence and more likely to suffer from depression in link with their status.

Happy marriages are all alike: Marriage and self-rated health among Serbian Romа

This study conducted in Serbia in a Roma population revealed that arranged marriage had no significant negative impact on men compared with free marriages, but did on women. "Happy men" were those who felt they had had subservient wives and "happy women" were those who felt they were not subservient hence the negative impact on women.

 

[firedragon]

That what still my opinion (as I clearly mentioned), but since you insist so much here's some scientific studies that would support my personal opinion on marriage and couple relationships.

https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/714272

Here is a study from the university of Chicago that mentions that women in arranged marriage situation are more at risk from domestic violence and more likely to suffer from depression in link with their status.

Happy marriages are all alike: Marriage and self-rated health among Serbian Romа

This study conducted in Serbia in a Roma population revealed that arranged marriage had no significant negative impact on men compared with free marriages, but did on women. "Happy men" were who felt they had had subservient wives and "happy women" were those who felt they were not subservient hence the negative impact on women.

Excellent. SO that's scientific evidence? Are you serious mate?

 

[epronovost]

Excellent. SO that's scientific evidence? Are you serious mate?

Yes, they are both scientific articles, one in sociology and the other ethnology, by accredited universities and in peer reviewed journals.

 

[Link]

But mut'a shouldn't even have to be that choice. When one marries, one marries with the intent of staying together...the prophet pbuh said
narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet pbuh) who said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”

In the Sunnah, there is no excuse and it isn't "me" allowing anything. I only quoted the aya and what Mohammad pbuh said. Mut'a is forbidden from the Mouth of Mohammad pbuh. Right hands posses is allowed from what Allah has mentioned with guidelines from what Mohammad pbuh taught. That's the bottom line.


يٰۤاَيُّهَا الَّذِيۡنَ اٰمَنُوۡۤا اَطِيۡعُوا اللّٰهَ وَاَطِيۡعُوا الرَّسُوۡلَ وَلَا تُبۡطِلُوۡۤا اَعۡمَالَـكُمۡ

Believers, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and do not cause your works to be nullified. 47:33

It's you allowing it as well. Quran forbids slavery in all times. Everything we attribute to God we will be held accountable, either one of us is speaking with knowledge about God and his religion as far as this issue goes or none of us are. And talking about God no matter what scholars say, we will be held accountable for it. Their so called leadership and their so called greatness by reputation will not be an excuse. Just because someone said a hadith is authentic and people say he is right in that determination doesn't make it so and is not an excuse.

 

[JustGeorge]

What's wrong with divorce?

Morally, nothing. I understand its expensive, though. It took my sister to the cleaner's financially, just to pay for the court fees(she didn't lose any money to the ex, thankfully), and my mom lost everything(dad could afford a good lawyer, she couldn't).

I think I'd want to avoid it on the financial, practical reasons alone.

 

[oldbadger]

Imagine your daughter going on a date and gets date raped....should you leave it alone?

Why should I imagine that?
You...imagine your daughter buys a car and gets in to a badvsmash up.
You....imagine your daughter goes swimming and drowns

You see how corrupted your proposal is?

 

[MyM]

Why should I imagine that?
You...imagine your daughter buys a car and gets in to a badvsmash up.
You....imagine your daughter goes swimming and drowns

You see how corrupted your proposal is?

Not really, the fact is it happens. Dating is dangerous as well To just leave it alone (the dating process) I think is wrong, because many things are going wrong these days and many many kids/teenagers/adults end up getting all messed up over the term "love" ... it's all in a wrong place now.

 

[oldbadger]

Not really, the fact is it happens. Dating is dangerous as well To just leave it alone (the dating process) I think is wrong, because many things are going wrong these days and many many kids/teenagers/adults end up getting all messed up over the term "love" ... it's all in a wrong place now.

Drownings happen. Car crashes happen. Sporting accidents happen.

You seem to want to control peoples' choices and decisions. You should never be given such powers, methinks
Dating is absolutely fine, just as swimming, skiing, driving, living is.

Accidents and crimes do happen but that shouldn't be any excuse for you to control the lives of people.

 

[MyM]

Drownings happen. Car crashes happen. Sporting accidents happen.

You seem to want to control peoples' choices and decisions. You should never be given such powers, methinks
Dating is absolutely fine, just as swimming, skiing, driving, living is.

Accidents and crimes do happen but that shouldn't be any excuse for you to control the lives of people.

I don't want to control anyone. I am just saying, dating is dangerous. The "love" being the center of attention is really messin with people's lives and it is indeed getting shallower and shallower. Marriage should be a blessed thing and not one taken nonchalantly.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I don't want to control anyone. I am just saying, dating is dangerous. The "love" being the center of attention is really messin with people's lives and it is indeed getting shallower and shallower. Marriage should be a blessed thing and not one taken nonchalantly.

I would not marry someone I had not dated first.
And no I do not have any parents or relatives who will "find me the right wife"

 

[JustGeorge]

I wouldn't trust my parents to find me the right spouse. They did an awful job on their own relationships.

Besides, my tastes aren't what most people would pick out for a daughter... 'young, dumb, and clumsy' are unusual tastes, but they're mine. I likely would have got saddled with someone I would have been repelled by, and that wouldn't be good for them, or me. Chemistry isn't all there is to a relationship, but if there is zilch, resentments can build.

I'm not saying arranged marriages can never work; on the other hand, many are successful. I just think there are a myriad of factors that go into human relationships, and there is no one size fits all prescription. Some should date. Some should not.

One should consider multiple factors when choosing or not choosing a spouse... Culture, family, and religion may or may not come into it, depending on the individual. Most importantly, one should listen to their heart. If following religious guidance on the matter seems like the correct thing to do, do it. If running off and marrying a drunken beach bum that you just met seems like the right thing to do, do it. (That's what I did. )

 

[England my lionheart]

I disagree,humans have always been up for dating way before marriage mattered and in human history maybe beneficial genetically.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

It is my view divorce doesnt destroy happy marriages. It destroys unhappy ones. It's a good thing divorce.

I think enforced monogamy and holding the nuclear family as ideal is to blame. Bio-sexually humans aren't strictly monogamous or polygamous. We're firmly between the two amd we've seen this time and time again with the highly varied social arrangements we would call marriage across cultures and time. Enforcing one or the other means some people will be made to do what is normal for them even though the behavior harms no one.
As for the nuclear family, I blame this one because where is our traditional models of family support and child rearing? We got rid of it. In reality it's one of the least pro-family models of family that our species has practiced. And we wonder why families are failing?

 

[MyM]

I wouldn't trust my parents to find me the right spouse. They did an awful job on their own relationships.

Besides, my tastes aren't what most people would pick out for a daughter... 'young, dumb, and clumsy' are unusual tastes, but they're mine. I likely would have got saddled with someone I would have been repelled by, and that wouldn't be good for them, or me. Chemistry isn't all there is to a relationship, but if there is zilch, resentments can build.

I'm not saying arranged marriages can never work; on the other hand, many are successful. I just think there are a myriad of factors that go into human relationships, and there is no one size fits all prescription. Some should date. Some should not.

One should consider multiple factors when choosing or not choosing a spouse... Culture, family, and religion may or may not come into it, depending on the individual. Most importantly, one should listen to their heart. If following religious guidance on the matter seems like the correct thing to do, do it. If running off and marrying a drunken beach bum that you just met seems like the right thing to do, do it. (That's what I did. )

That was just a suggestion from family Friends, or people you know etc. can help. I am just sayin, over years times, people play dating as if it is a natural way to find a mate. Almost every time now sex is involved before marriage and that is what the Abrahamic religions all are against. There are other ways to go about it, but not everyone is truthful in saying it because they just want to go have fun. There are other options out there That is also what the video said as well. So many people get messed up over dating. Some even try to commit suicide because it doesn't work out. Ya got messed up thinkings when dating messes up people. I dated many times before I got married and became a Muslim. I know what it feels like I'm just sayin there could be other ways of goin about it if people are sincere enough to admit it. It's like if you go against the "norm" nowadays, you are labeled a freak.

 

[oldbadger]

I don't want to control anyone. I am just saying, dating is dangerous. The "love" being the center of attention is really messin with people's lives and it is indeed getting shallower and shallower. Marriage should be a blessed thing and not one taken nonchalantly.

Dating is no more dangerous than driving cars or other life experiences .
So what you're just saying is nonsense.
Unreasonable wealth and unreasonable poverty is what is messing up so many lives, and Jesus certainly was set against that .
Any strong partnerships are a wonderful condition...... and also if folks want to go clubbing and have dates then that is their privilege.
You mentioned marriage. Are all marriages and civil partnerships alright, I ask you?

To suggest that dating is connected to divorce is strange

 

[JustGeorge]

It's like if you go against the "norm" nowadays, you are labeled a freak.

I get that. I went against a norm, too, and was definitely labeled a freak.

The dating world seemed intimidating to me, so I never did it. I was probably single less than a year during my entire adult being. Some would say that isn't healthy. I don't really care. I consider it my personal business, and what works for many people doesn't necessarily work for me(likewise, what works for me doesn't work for many people).

Almost every time now sex is involved before marriage and that is what the Abrahamic religions all are against.

Honestly, I found that scary. And that is one of the reasons I didn't 'play the field'. I didn't have to be married to engage in sexual activities(I was a Pagan during these years of my life, so religion had nothing to do with it), but the idea of casual sex disgusted me. I didn't care if other people engaged in it, as that isn't my business, but I didn't want that for myself. For me, sex was something that took place within a loving relationship.

= So many people get messed up over dating. Some even try to commit suicide because it doesn't work out.

I'm not trying to make light of this, but some people will get messed up and consider suicide over other scenarios, too(failed career, intolerant family, mental breakdown, etc). So, while I consider the idea of someone committing suicide over dating problematic, I have to acknowledge a person who is at risk of doing this is probably at risk in other areas, too.

 

[MyM]

Dating is no more dangerous than driving cars or other life experiences .
So what you're just saying is nonsense.
Unreasonable wealth and unreasonable poverty is what is messing up so many lives, and Jesus certainly was set against that .
Any strong partnerships are a wonderful condition...... and also if folks want to go clubbing and have dates then that is their privilege.
You mentioned marriage. Are all marriages and civil partnerships alright, I ask you?

To suggest that dating is connected to divorce is strange

Was just asking yalls opinions To look at it in a different perspective. When one divorces, one goes through many trials to get to that divorce. It's like dating, one goes through so many trials and also SEX which isn't or SHOULDN'T be a prerequisite for marriage nowadays. But it seems to be the case. You have many things that are similar. People who go clubbin it's their business. Am not talkin about that...people who go out and well, end up in bed together, yes, that is kinda included in the dating arena because it leads to one night stands, break ups etc.

I know what it feels like to be divorced been there done that.