Ever realize that "Dating" is a practice for divorce?

[MyM]

I heard a few things the other day and this was one of them. It did get me to thinking about which is the correct way of meeting one's future spouse. I know how it is done in Islam, (I am a Muslim) but if you sit down and think about it, what he said actually makes sense.

What are yalls input...just curious on what you think of this video

 

[Rival]

I largely agree.

 

[Link]

I largely agree as well.

 

[MyM]

yes, I see so many people acting on impulse, "he/she's my soulmate", "there's no spark" etc....and then they just go onto the next. I truly do not think people have actually sat down and said, "What is the right thing to do?" There are no guidelines in the Bible, but in Islam there are. I grew up in the "dating arena" and I know exactly what that guy in the video is saying. It is a big scam and people just listen to other people, then that takes off from there and then others talk then that gets spread and eventually you end up havin so many scenarios of "what love is" that everyone will have a say and opinion. It's just weird to see finally, that someone has the nerve to speak up about it.

 

[VoidCat]

I heard a few things the other day and this was one of them. It did get me to thinking about which is the correct way of meeting one's future spouse. I know how it is done in Islam, (I am a Muslim) but if you sit down and think about it, what he said actually makes sense.

What are yalls input...just curious on what you think of this video

It is my view divorce doesnt destroy happy marriages. It destroys unhappy ones. It's a good thing divorce.

 

[MyM]

It is my view divorce doesnt destroy happy marriages. It destroys unhappy ones. It's a good thing divorce.

that's not what I meant...of course if one needs to divorce, one should, but I was referring to dating...it's a practice for divorce.

 

[Link]

yes, I see so many people acting on impulse, "he/she's my soulmate", "there's no spark" etc....and then they just go onto the next. I truly do not think people have actually sat down and said, "What is the right thing to do?" There are no guidelines in the Bible, but in Islam there are. I grew up in the "dating arena" and I know exactly what that guy in the video is saying. It is a big scam and people just listen to other people, then that takes off from there and then others talk then that gets spread and eventually you end up havin so many scenarios of "what love is" that everyone will have a say and opinion. It's just weird to see finally, that someone has the nerve to speak up about it.

Sex can be shameful or beautiful/honorable. There's a right way to go about it and a wrong way. Unfortunately, marriage is harder in this day and age for a lot of people because career and stability comes after a long period.

If a person marries to draw closer to God and have a mirror/companion on the journey, this is the best intention.

Muta in Quran is a last resort for those who fear curse of God. It's not meant to be the norm and thankfully is not.

 

[VoidCat]

that's not what I meant...of course if one needs to divorce, one should, but I was referring to dating...it's a practice for divorce.

But he talks as if that's a bad thing

 

[Link]

It is my view divorce doesnt destroy happy marriages. It destroys unhappy ones. It's a good thing divorce.

Divorce destroys unhappy marriages, but the Quran offers solutions before going to that step. For example, to bring a judge for her family and his family, and try to resolve the issue.

 

[Link]

But he talks as if that's a bad thing

He's saying it's become an instinct to right away do that instead of learning to adjust and change the situation.

 

[VoidCat]

He's saying it's become an instinct to right away do that instead of learning to adjust and change the situation.

Some situations that should be your first instinct? Also most people I see do fight to save their marriages... It's a broad statement. I can't say thats the majority's first instinct cuz I ain't seen no studies on it and anecdotal evidence can be wrong in this circumstance.

 

[Link]

Some situations that should be your first instinct? Also most people I see do fight to save their marriages... It's a broad statement. I can't save thats the majority's first instinct cuz I ain't seen no studies on it and anecdotal evidence can be wrong in this circumstance.

You do have a point. I remember statistics cheating leads to a lot of divorce, but is not the only reason. So there is a bigger problem than what he is talking about.

 

[MyM]

Sex can be shameful or beautiful/honorable. There's a right way to go about it and a wrong way. Unfortunately, marriage is harder in this day and age for a lot of people because career and stability comes after a long period.

If a person marries to draw closer to God and have a mirror/companion on the journey, this is the best intention.

Muta in Quran is a last resort for those who fear curse of God. It's not meant to be the norm and thankfully is not.

It was narrated from al-Rabee’ ibn Sabrah al-Juhani that his father told him that he was with the Messenger of Allah pbuh who said, “O people, I used to allow you to engage in mut’ah marriages, but now Allah has forbidden that until the Day of Resurrection, so whoever has any wives in a mut’ah marriage, he should let her go and do not take anything of the (money) you have given them.”
Narrated by Muslim, 1406.

It was narrated from ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah pbuh forbade mut’ah marriage and the meat of domestic donkeys at the time of Khaybar. According to another report, he forbade mut’ah marriage at the time of Khaybar and he forbade the meat of tame donkeys.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3979; Muslim, 1407

 

[Link]

It was narrated from al-Rabee’ ibn Sabrah al-Juhani that his father told him that he was with the Messenger of Allah pbuh who said, “O people, I used to allow you to engage in mut’ah marriages, but now Allah has forbidden that until the Day of Resurrection, so whoever has any wives in a mut’ah marriage, he should let her go and do not take anything of the (money) you have given them.”
Narrated by Muslim, 1406.

It was narrated from ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah pbuh forbade mut’ah marriage and the meat of domestic donkeys at the time of Khaybar. According to another report, he forbade mut’ah marriage at the time of Khaybar and he forbade the meat of tame donkeys.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3979; Muslim, 1407

There is two type of hadiths on this subject. But to me, hadiths can't abrogate Quran.

 

[idea]

For dating services- is it best to find someone just like you, agree on politics, religious views, equal levels of education, equal level jobs and economics?

Or, is it better to learn to see a different point of view...

Are dating services further dividing society by allowing everyone to stay in their bubble?

The internet - so easy to walk away from what you disagree with, to surround yourself with only content that matches your beliefs.

When one person changes, is it best to walk away, or stay in mixed-faith marriage, to learn how to peacefully exist with those of different beliefs?

 

[MyM]

There is two type of hadiths on this subject. But to me, hadiths can't abrogate Quran.

Where does it say in the Quran and can you please bring authenticated tafsir with ahadith as well and to deny Mohammad pbuh his words...and Ali is indeed the one that reported it.

 

[Link]

For dating services- us it best to find someone just like you, agree on politics, religious views, equal levels of education, equal level jobs and economics?

Or, is it better to learn to see into a different point of view...

Are dating services further dividing society by allowing everyone to stay in their bubble?

The internet - so easy to walk away from what you disagree with, to surround yourself with only content that matches your beliefs.

When one person changes, is it best to walk away, or stay in mixed-faith marriage, to learn how to peacefully exist with those of different beliefs?

Feathers of the same bird work generally. It's sad, but opposites don't generally.

 

[VoidCat]

For dating services- is it best to find someone just like you, agree on politics, religious views, equal levels of education, equal level jobs and economics?

Or, is it better to learn to see a different point of view...

Are dating services further dividing society by allowing everyone to stay in their bubble?

The internet - so easy to walk away from what you disagree with, to surround yourself with only content that matches your beliefs.

When one person changes, is it best to walk away, or stay in mixed-faith marriage, to learn how to peacefully exist with those of different beliefs?

Honestly don't know. I'd think it'd be good to learn a different view point but in terms of the relationship depends on the person.

 

[MyM]

For dating services- is it best to find someone just like you, agree on politics, religious views, equal levels of education, equal level jobs and economics?

Or, is it better to learn to see a different point of view...

Are dating services further dividing society by allowing everyone to stay in their bubble?

The internet - so easy to walk away from what you disagree with, to surround yourself with only content that matches your beliefs.

When one person changes, is it best to walk away, or stay in mixed-faith marriage, to learn how to peacefully exist with those of different beliefs?

No one can be fully like the other half. Actually it isn't really encouraged in the Psychological field. Dating services are scary as well as online anything!!!! Unless you know someone of someone etc....Getting to know families is a great way of introducing one another. That way, it is all on the up n up and no hanky panky on the side (if you know what I mean) mixed faith marriages are reallllly hard. That would be up to each person. In Islam, you are allowed to marry people of the book....those who believe in One God. It is best however, in Islam, to marry a Muslim as to avoid any difficulties down the line. But even then, many and I mean many have a lot of difficulties still.

The best of those are those who are good to their wives and families

 

[Link]

Where does it say in the Quran and can you please bring authenticated tafsir with ahadith as well and to deny Mohammad pbuh his words...and Ali is indeed the one that reported it.

وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ إِلَّا مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ۖ كِتَابَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ ۚ وَأُحِلَّ لَكُمْ مَا وَرَاءَ ذَٰلِكُمْ أَنْ تَبْتَغُوا بِأَمْوَالِكُمْ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ ۚ فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً ۚ وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا تَرَاضَيْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْ بَعْدِ الْفَرِيضَةِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا | and married women, excepting who your oaths hold authority over.


This is Allah’s ordinance for you, And allowed to you is other then these if you seek them with your wealth with chaste intentions other then fornication therefore those who you seek enjoyment from then give them their reward/wage/dowry obligation on you and there is no blame upon you in what you may agree upon after the settlement. Indeed Allah is all-knowing, all-wise. | An-Nisaa : 24



The notion of slavery is absurd to me but would leave an all time low if we take malakat aymanihim to mean slaves. It would mean you can have sex with a slave's wife and this is what the tafsirs say. This is absurd. The meaning to me is simple. It means you aren't allowed to have sex with married women except those who you are married to.

Then it shows a second form of who we are allowed, other than what has been mentioned, which is so far married women that our oaths have authority over, so the second form is Muta, which is by the verb "istamaatum".

To me, slavery is absurd and something God would never command. And so this verse explains what the second form of malakat aymanihim is, which is Muta. The first is marriage.

As for ahadith, you are probably aware of the many that say 4:24 was revealed for Muta.