Ever realize that "Dating" is a practice for divorce?

[A Vestigial Mote]

Break-ups as "mini-divorces" is pretty much accurate, yes. But I am not sure what we are supposed to infer from this. That the process of vetting a potential mating candidate is bad business, and we should be conducting ourselves differently? We could all be setup with our mates randomly, by some authority - but this would, to me, smack of being just entirely about the process of furthering the species (or culture perhaps?), and would appear to have nothing to do with anyone wanting me to be happy in my situation (regardless whether or not I was happy with my randomly chosen mate, I would necessarily have to feel this way - i.e. that no one cared about my approval, or possibility of happiness - because no one cared enough to figure out beforehand whether or not I would or even potentially could be happy).

Does anyone remove from the female bird (of so many species) the prerogative to make her choice among potential suitors? Who would have such authority? Surely no one. Everyone can kiss the female bird's feathered behind for all their opinion is worth. For it is worth nothing. The kiss on the feathered bottom is worth far more - even as it is worth very little, and is even an undesirable situation to find oneself in. So either give up on trying to have an opinion about who everyone else should be mating with, or start kissing feathered butts.

 

[stvdv]

@stvdv

Sai Baba used to say:
"What you see in others is in you"

Not always true, but often is.
So, if you see someone murdering, does that make you a murderer.?

You say my imagination is optimistic, well that is what I imagined, at your request.
You quote another deceased person rather than yourself. So that comment is meaningless to me.

So, please explain to me what the link meant to you.
Or, why not just give an honest answer to my question, which was
Please explain in your own words, from your own experiences.

I decide what I share
You decide what you share
Useless to try to manipulate me

 

[Jedster]

I decide what I share
You decide what you share
Useless to try to manipulate me

Don't be silly.

I get it. You don't want to answer.

 

[Jedster]

@stvdv

Thanks for the lovely frubal.

 

[stvdv]

@stvdv

Thanks for the lovely frubal.

You're welcome

 

[MyM]

So you don't know what to do about people being free to go dating....that's fair enough .
The title of this thread 'Dating is a practice for divorce' is indeed total junk. Honestly.
I didn't need to do any homework to figure that out.

You are entitled to what you believe.

 

[danieldemol]

The problem as I see it is that the way we evolved is that we become both sexually attractive and sexually attracted to others a long time before we reach the mental maturity necessary to make long term (especially life long term) commitments.

So the way God allegedly set things up it is like dangling a piece of juicy meat in front of a starving carnivorous animal and then threatening to smack it for eating. Clearly an unjust God concept if you ask me.

Sure dating has its dangers as do many tasks we commonly undertake as @oldbadger pointed out, but it seems to me the dangers are impractical to avoid since modern technology allows youth to engage in relatively safe short term sexual activities until they are old enough to make long term commitments and it would be cruel to deny them this.

Perhaps the biggest danger in dating is to the lust for leadership/control that leaders of the outdated Abrahamic religions and I would suggest particularly in the case of one who dated when they were younger - hypocritical - to deny the youth their chance to experiment the same way you did.

Having said all that I see no reason we can't have arranged marriages provided both parties to the marriage agree in the absolute absence of compulsion or social stigma. But there is no reason we can't have our cake and eat it - that is to say there is no reason the youth can't date whilst too young to make commitments then have arranged marriages for them if they want it once they are old enough to make long term commitments.

In my opinion.

 

[Segev Moran]

religion doesn't always have to be how one describes it..."abusive force".

I did not describe religion as an abusive force. I described the idea of telling someone how to date or who to date, as a (potentially) abusive idea.

,
there are good sides to everything

Yes. obviously.

The bottom one who decides is the couple

That's not how it really works though.
When one "signs up" for a "workshop", especially one that claims to have the knowledge on how to solve their issues, the ability to have a good secular decision drops much.
If you are raised in the same way the "workshop" extends, your ability to decide things that contradict the "workshop" ideas becomes very hard.
The world of dating, relationships, sexual and nonsexual interactions...these are all things that should be taught from young REGARDLESS of religion (conservative religious people are often much less educated about such issues).
If this young man's knowledge comes from a "spirit possession", it should be monitored, criticized, examined, and verified by scientific methodology.

 

[firedragon]

Its Monday today.
I don't do interrogations on Mondays.
You'll have to come back on Wednesday afternoons or Friday mornings .
If you have something to say then please say it.

Good answer in a courtroom when you have no solid response. Great effort.

But see, what you left out is that Monday, or Sunday, what ever day it is, you cannot give a single proper answer because there is none.

So, that's why you do not have a choice but to make some excuse. "Oh teacher, today is Monday, the first day of the week so my character has not charged itself yet".

Cheers.

 

[firedragon]

So the way God allegedly set things up it is like dangling a piece of juicy meat in front of a starving carnivorous animal and then threatening to smack it for eating. Clearly an unjust God concept if you ask me.

What is your concept of God or divinity?

 

[oldbadger]

@stvdv

Thanks for the lovely frubal.

Wow!
Frubals? A fossilized frubal has been found on our beach recently!
Old....!

 

[oldbadger]

Having said all that I see no reason we can't have arranged marriages provided both parties to the marriage agree in the absolute absence of compulsion or social stigma. But there is no reason we can't have our cake and eat it - that is to say there is no reason the youth can't date whilst too young to make commitments then have arranged marriages for them if they want it once they are old enough to make long term commitments.

Not many years ago a work colleague of mine took a month off work and went to Pakistan with his father. On his return he was very happy about his recent trip, his father had arranged a marriage for my colleague's 8 year old daughter with a very rich boy living in Pakistan. He explained to me that the match could pay his mortgage off completely as well as provide for his daughter's future comforts.

Such deals cause levels of pressure, compulsion, enforcement that would be hard to ignore.
If a young person wants to marry for financial security then that doesn't seem to be a particularly bad decision, and many British youths could be attracted to money, status etc. But where finance is attached to marriage the levels of pressure could be horrific if a youth wants to stay single.

I wonder how many honour-attacks, punishments and deaths still happen in my country.......
Kids having fun on dates might be a rose garden by comparison.

 

[oldbadger]

Good answer in a courtroom when you have no solid response. Great effort.

But see, what you left out is that Monday, or Sunday, what ever day it is, you cannot give a single proper answer because there is none.

So, that's why you do not have a choice but to make some excuse. "Oh teacher, today is Monday, the first day of the week so my character has not charged itself yet".

Cheers.

Yes it was, a good answer for any pushy contentious entrees, I think.
You pushed in to an exchange of posts between members, demanding information that is not necessarily relevant for this debate, and seeking contentious confrontation.

Yet you offer nothing to offer which is relevant to 'Dating is practice for divorce'.

 

[oldbadger]

You are entitled to what you believe.

Of course........ hundreds of differing beliefs all coming together on RF.

Tell me, do you favour or support the arrangement of marriages by young people's parents?
And how do you feel about young people who refuse to take part in such arrangements?

 

[firedragon]

Yes it was, a good answer for any pushy contentious entrees, I think.
You pushed in to an exchange of posts between members, demanding information that is not necessarily relevant for this debate, and seeking contentious confrontation.

Yet you offer nothing to offer which is relevant to 'Dating is practice for divorce'.

I am only questioning your contention. Turning it around shows you have nothing behind it.

So thanks.

 

[oldbadger]

I am only questioning your contention. Turning it around shows you have nothing behind it.

So thanks.

You just seek trouble, methinks.
I wrote to another about:-
The Laws of Moses were a brilliant way for a community of people to grow quickly and be secure, safe, strong, healthy and successful. The Israelites were very successful until they started ignoring some of those laws.

You butted in, demanding to know when those times existed and telling me that written sources wouldn't count, thus refusing to recognise the events as written in the bible, it seems.

I think your posts just seek trouble.

 

[firedragon]

You just seek trouble, methinks.
I wrote to another about:-
The Laws of Moses were a brilliant way for a community of people to grow quickly and be secure, safe, strong, healthy and successful. The Israelites were very successful until they started ignoring some of those laws.

You butted in, demanding to know when those times existed and telling me that written sources wouldn't count, thus refusing to recognise the events as written in the bible, it seems.

I think your posts just seek trouble.

Haha. No trouble intended OB.

I am only showing you the faults in the foundation of your contention. You don't have to get so offended.

Anyway, thanks for responding. Cheers.

 

[danieldemol]

What is your concept of God or divinity?

Its a bit of a tangent to the subject matter, but my concept of God is one that does not intervene in the material realm.

Since it does nothing to correct the faults pushed onto us by the material realm it also does not judge us negatively for the faults pushed onto us by the material realm.

I consider it more likely that a loving God would be the universal saviour of all the human spirits.

And before you go picking it apart too much I acknowledge it is not a strictly rational God concept (as indeed none of them are), but at the least I can say it has me not making unwanted unnecessary abusive intrusions into the sex lives of others.

In my opinion.

 

[firedragon]

Its a bit of a tangent to the subject matter, but my concept of God is one that does not intervene in the material realm.

Since it does nothing to correct the faults pushed onto us by the material realm it also does not judge us negatively for the faults pushed onto us by the material realm.

I consider it more likely that a loving God would be the universal saviour of all the human spirits.

And before you go picking it apart too much I acknowledge it is not a strictly rational God concept (as indeed none of them are), but at the least I can say it has me not making unwanted unnecessary abusive intrusions into the sex lives of others.

In my opinion.

Ignoring your rant, thanks for clarifying your concept of God.

Thats all I needed. Cheers.

 

[MyM]

I did not describe religion as an abusive force. I described the idea of telling someone how to date or who to date, as a (potentially) abusive idea.

Yes. obviously.

That's not how it really works though.
When one "signs up" for a "workshop", especially one that claims to have the knowledge on how to solve their issues, the ability to have a good secular decision drops much.
If you are raised in the same way the "workshop" extends, your ability to decide things that contradict the "workshop" ideas becomes very hard.
The world of dating, relationships, sexual and nonsexual interactions...these are all things that should be taught from young REGARDLESS of religion (conservative religious people are often much less educated about such issues).
If this young man's knowledge comes from a "spirit possession", it should be monitored, criticized, examined, and verified by scientific methodology.

I understand what you are saying. I personally haven't studied this. I just thought it decent that someone is trying to at least help fix the problem that people are facing when it comes to dating-from the Christian side. Islamically still a bit different. I am just tryin to find a middle ground that opens people's minds to admit that there is a problem which many people are denying. There is a problem out there but people just don't give a dam and want to carry on because of how "they" see it-doesn't necessarily make it right.