Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Finally I completed the writing of how my son should dispose my dead body. Here is that for your perusal (so that I could make any changes if required):
Instruction / Request for the disposal of my body after my death:
The main thing that you ned to understand is that though I am a staunch Hindu, I do not believe in superstition, I believe in science. I do not believe in Gods and Goddesses. I am what they term as "Brahmavadi". What that means, you can check with people like Vijaya Chachi (Vijaya, your Tamil aunt) who may know what it means. I want a disposal without any fanfare or mantras. I know all the mantras and their value. I do not want them after I am dead, not even the Gayatri Mantra. I am not an Arya Samaji. And the Gayatri Mantra in RigVeda does not contain "Om, Bhuh, Bhuvah, Swaha". That is a later addition. Therefore, here is what is to be done:
1. The Arthi (carriage):
After death, I would not need any bed. Therefore, do not get a "phatte wali seedhi". The wooden plank only increases the weight of the arthi. it does not in any way convenience the body. Just the bamboo seedhi will do.
After death, the body feels no heat or cold. So, covering the body with shawls does not make any sense. You should not put any shawls on my body. Just the white sheet of cloth will do.
After death I cannot see or smell flowers. Therefore, putting flowers on my body is a useless exercise. Kindly do not do that.
It is customary to put a photograph and a burning lamp near the head of the dead body. I am not photogenic (though in my younger days I was mentioned as good-looking, lean, mop of black hair, fair complexioned, bluish-green eyes and a perfectly-shaped straight caucasian nose). Therefore, do not waste your effort and time to have my photograph or burn any lamp. My lamp would already have been extinguished by that time.
You can take the arthi to the temple. I may be an atheist, but I am still a Hindu and love and respect Hindu culture, its Gods and Goddesses. That will be perfectly OK.
2. At the cremation ground:
As I said, I do not want any mantras. Pay the Shamshan brahmin his fee but ask him not to recite any mantras whatsoever. You can go through the motions of circling my body three times and break the pitcher. At the funeral pyre also, you can go around three times before lighting the fire (Agni dana).
A very imporant thing is to have my funeral pyre at the ground level and (if possible) in a funeral pit that is open to sky. Do not, I repeat, do not have my body cremated in a funeral pit which is at a higher level. That is for diginitaries and I am a common man.
Ghee and samagri are OK because that is to let the fire burn my body quickly and camoflage the smell of burning body.
After cremation, do not make an announcement as to when the bones are to be collected. Those who will come will come and it will not concern many others who will choose not to come. It is a silly / foolish practice to burn a bunch of straw after cremation, and the whole congregation to circle it three times with a piece of straw in the mouth. Kindly do not do that after my funeral. That is why no announcement.
3. Immersion of ashes:
There is no need to go all the way to Haridwar. That is a full day’s journey. Immersion of ashes in Garh Mukteshwar will be perfectly all right and it is at half the distance than Haridwar. Mother Ganges flows there also. Here again, pay the brahmin his fee (don’t be fleeced), ask him not to utter any mantras and allow you to peacefully immerse the ashes in Mother Ganges. That will require half the time that you would have spent in going to Haridwar.
4. After the funeral:
I do not want any ‘chautha’ (fourth-day remembrance) to be held (with my enlarged photograph on the dais and prayers) after my death. I do not believe in prayers. I know you will like to have a ‘griha shanti’ ceremony because you are superstitious people, but kindly make sure that you do not do it in my name. Instruct the brahmins accordingly. Ask them not to mention me or say anything about how pious I was. It will embarass me even in my death.
I do not want any remembrance ceremonies after my death (no dasvi, 10th, gyarahvi, 11th, or terahvi, 13th) that also means no ‘masavar’ (monthly remembrance), no six monthly remembrance (chhamahi), nor the yearly remembrance (Shraadhha) at any time.
Also, do not put my photograph on the wall (do not hang me on the wall). When I am gone, I have completely and surely gone – like Buddha said - “gate, gate, para gate, para samgate”.
I hope you will dispose my dead body according to the instructions mentioned above. Thanking you in advance.
Instruction / Request for the disposal of my body after my death:
The main thing that you ned to understand is that though I am a staunch Hindu, I do not believe in superstition, I believe in science. I do not believe in Gods and Goddesses. I am what they term as "Brahmavadi". What that means, you can check with people like Vijaya Chachi (Vijaya, your Tamil aunt) who may know what it means. I want a disposal without any fanfare or mantras. I know all the mantras and their value. I do not want them after I am dead, not even the Gayatri Mantra. I am not an Arya Samaji. And the Gayatri Mantra in RigVeda does not contain "Om, Bhuh, Bhuvah, Swaha". That is a later addition. Therefore, here is what is to be done:
1. The Arthi (carriage):
After death, I would not need any bed. Therefore, do not get a "phatte wali seedhi". The wooden plank only increases the weight of the arthi. it does not in any way convenience the body. Just the bamboo seedhi will do.
After death, the body feels no heat or cold. So, covering the body with shawls does not make any sense. You should not put any shawls on my body. Just the white sheet of cloth will do.
After death I cannot see or smell flowers. Therefore, putting flowers on my body is a useless exercise. Kindly do not do that.
It is customary to put a photograph and a burning lamp near the head of the dead body. I am not photogenic (though in my younger days I was mentioned as good-looking, lean, mop of black hair, fair complexioned, bluish-green eyes and a perfectly-shaped straight caucasian nose). Therefore, do not waste your effort and time to have my photograph or burn any lamp. My lamp would already have been extinguished by that time.
You can take the arthi to the temple. I may be an atheist, but I am still a Hindu and love and respect Hindu culture, its Gods and Goddesses. That will be perfectly OK.
2. At the cremation ground:
As I said, I do not want any mantras. Pay the Shamshan brahmin his fee but ask him not to recite any mantras whatsoever. You can go through the motions of circling my body three times and break the pitcher. At the funeral pyre also, you can go around three times before lighting the fire (Agni dana).
A very imporant thing is to have my funeral pyre at the ground level and (if possible) in a funeral pit that is open to sky. Do not, I repeat, do not have my body cremated in a funeral pit which is at a higher level. That is for diginitaries and I am a common man.
Ghee and samagri are OK because that is to let the fire burn my body quickly and camoflage the smell of burning body.
After cremation, do not make an announcement as to when the bones are to be collected. Those who will come will come and it will not concern many others who will choose not to come. It is a silly / foolish practice to burn a bunch of straw after cremation, and the whole congregation to circle it three times with a piece of straw in the mouth. Kindly do not do that after my funeral. That is why no announcement.
3. Immersion of ashes:
There is no need to go all the way to Haridwar. That is a full day’s journey. Immersion of ashes in Garh Mukteshwar will be perfectly all right and it is at half the distance than Haridwar. Mother Ganges flows there also. Here again, pay the brahmin his fee (don’t be fleeced), ask him not to utter any mantras and allow you to peacefully immerse the ashes in Mother Ganges. That will require half the time that you would have spent in going to Haridwar.
4. After the funeral:
I do not want any ‘chautha’ (fourth-day remembrance) to be held (with my enlarged photograph on the dais and prayers) after my death. I do not believe in prayers. I know you will like to have a ‘griha shanti’ ceremony because you are superstitious people, but kindly make sure that you do not do it in my name. Instruct the brahmins accordingly. Ask them not to mention me or say anything about how pious I was. It will embarass me even in my death.
I do not want any remembrance ceremonies after my death (no dasvi, 10th, gyarahvi, 11th, or terahvi, 13th) that also means no ‘masavar’ (monthly remembrance), no six monthly remembrance (chhamahi), nor the yearly remembrance (Shraadhha) at any time.
Also, do not put my photograph on the wall (do not hang me on the wall). When I am gone, I have completely and surely gone – like Buddha said - “gate, gate, para gate, para samgate”.
I hope you will dispose my dead body according to the instructions mentioned above. Thanking you in advance.
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