...the answer is definitely not to relax religious requirements. You took an emergency enactment and made it your flag. Look at who you are regulating: a constituency who, outside of its Rabbinical board, is mostly indistinguishable from Reform in their practice. Then you are telling them that they can drop even more requirements. You are giving them the permission to become more secular. So they are....the answer is not lowering the bar....
At the end of the day, we have been more successful than you in maintaining a strong Jewish identity. This is practically undeniable. But because of your biases...you refuse to look at a model that works better than yours.
Let's call it a day. You are never going to acknowledge the validity of Conservative Judaism, and I will not call charedi Judaism a "model that works better than mine" because while its adherents do have strong identification, it is to a system that I believe twists Torah and halachah into something oppressive, rigid, and lacking in compassion. So we might as well save our critiques of each other's authenticity for some other time.
But that still doesn't change anything unless one is intending to convert to a branch that recognizes only maternal ascent. If one has no intention of doing as such, whereas the problem?
For example, when I go to my local JCC, I'm recognized as a Jew-- not a "Reform Jew". Same is true when I go to Israel and interact with people there.
As you well know, each branch of Judaism has its demands, and Reform is no exception. I do not have to adhere to your branch's demands unless I intend to convert, nor for you to adhere to mine (much easier for you though).
If a Reform Jew wishes to marry Conservative or Orthodox, they will have to make a decision as to which direction they intend to go forward with. If they decide to go Orthodox, for example, yes the Reform Jew will have to do through an Orthodox bet dein. OK, no problem as classes and acceptance would be in order, and if they're accepted, they're in. If they decide to go Reform, they're in.
As far as bar mitzvah's are concerned, each shul has it's own requirements regardless as to what one's background may be. If classes are in order, so be it.
What you have proposed I've run across many times before, and I would suggest that it's mostly based on the issue of conformity, which is not that terribly compatible with how we as Jews actually function. We don't have creeds, and our commentaries vary so much on so many different topics. Much like if I write a commentary you don't agree with, you obviously have the right to ignore it or to respond disapprovingly. I can't force you to agree with what I may think and write.
Therefore, we as Jews are going to disagree on a great many items. So? Am I going to insist that you must agree with me on everything? No. Are we going to schedule and international Jewish vote on what's absolutely required for each of us before we can be called a "Jew"? No.
There is indeed ample room in Jewish tradition for disagreement-- considerable disagreement, in fact. But that only works if everyone starts from more or less the same page, that page being who is and who is not a Jew. Pretty much everything after that can be disagreed upon, and the resolutions are many; and for most, if they aren't resolved any time soon-- no harm, no foul.
But the problem with simply writing off Jewish identity as "You do your thing, I'll do my thing, and we don't have to agree about it" is that sooner or later, there will be a real question concerning the Jewishness of a large chunk of those purporting to be Jews. I think that most of Orthodoxy has been too quick on the draw, too eager to write off the entirety of the Reform movement-- if not the entirety of non-Orthodox Judaism. But though they may have been too quick out the gate, too rigid in generalization, and too harsh in confrontation, in the end, they have a point.
Nearly two thirds of the Reform movement in the United States are intermarried. The majority of those whose children are not halachically Jewish, by all accounts, do not get them converted, instead relying on "patrilineal descent" to count them as Jews.
Most Conservative rabbis already check the status of Reform Jews who come to them for marriage or divorce, though at present most do this assuming they will be confirming the Reform Jew is actually Jewish. But within just a decade or two, the assumption will have to reverse: we will have to proceed from the assumption that a person claiming to be a Reform Jew is not actually Jewish unless they can provide documentation to support that claim.
By writing off identity as just another quibble, the Reform movement is advancing the day when they will either cease to be Jewish, or become a completely separate religion calling itself Reform Judaism, requiring that they be treated by halachic Jews no different than the members of other non-Jewish religions.
And at least among Conservative Jews and Open Orthodox Jews, we don't want to see that day arrive. We dread it. It fills us with grief and horror. We want to be able to have productive relationships with a Reform movement that-- if yet a movement that we disagree with on many points-- is still a sister movement to us, with whom we can join in marriage, whom we can count in minyanim, to whose members we can offer honors in shul, to whose brachot we can say amen, and so forth. We don't want to be in the position of not recognizing Reform Jews as Jews.
But it seems to be happening, whether we wish it or not.
And it saddens me that the reaction of most of the Reform movement is either to shrug it off or to act as though failure by non-Reform Jews to recognize "patrilineal Jews" as Jews is some sort of bigotry.
Really? That's what you're going with?