This... again... *sighs*
No matter how much are being written or taught, today, what we see are interpretations of Islamic teachings, ie. the Qur'an.
... Sorry to cut out most of the OP, but my post is too long...
Does Hamza have the right interpretations of Islam/Qur'an or not?
In Islam, a husband does
NOT have the right to beat his wife in any circumstance. In Islam, a husband does
NOT have the right to force his wife into having sex with him.
In Islam, husbands and wives are described as "garments" for each other (
They are garments for you and you are garments for them. Qur'an 2.187
). That's how close their relationship is.
Your clothing protects you. In cold weather, thick coats keep you warm. In warm weather, loose cotton clothing keeps you cool and protects your skin from the sun. Your clothing protects you from the elements or getting scratched up when walking by a brier bush. Wearing clothing keeps you from humiliation- almost everyone has a dream where they show up at school or work completely naked and full of shame. When you don't feel well, people usually have a soft oversized shirt or such they like to wear that brings them comfort. Most people have one article of clothing or an outfit, that when they wear it, they feel beautiful. When a Muslim wears clothing as directed in Islam, with
both men and women covering themselves, it helps them guard their bodies and helps them be modest.
This is what your spouse does in Islam- they protect you, they bring you comfort, they make you happy, they help you guard your modesty (as in Islam, sexual relations are only allowed to married spouses).
There's so many verses in the Qur'an that further explain how their relationship is supposed to be, it is supposed to be one full of peace and kindness and mercy and respect and maturity and compassion and a desire for the other spouse to be happy, even if they have to put their own desires aside for the other to be happy...
In Islam, marriage is not supposed to be where the husband is a tyrant and orders his wife around and all the wife can do is meekly obey. That is not what marriage is supposed to be. :no: Marriage is a partnership. Husbands are considered the heads of the household, not dictators, families are supposed to make decisions together, the man can't just ignore them and their desires and wishes. Muhammad, peace be upon him, asked advice from his wives in all manners, even on topics like military matters, which is a topic that women back then were unfamiliar with. Muhammad used to help his wives with household chores, as well.
Now, I'll be blunt- sex is an extremely important part of a good relationship. That's part of marriage, sex! Islam is very sex-positive. We have desires and they are completely natural, and having sex with your spouse is a beautiful thing and is very encouraged. Islam does not encourage celibacy in the least, we're supposed to get married and have a healthy and safe way to satisfy those urges.
Not having sex, especially when one desires it and the other doesn't, strains a relationship. I've read lots of studies/articles/advice about it and going by my personal experience, disagreements over sex and money seem to be the most damaging things for a marriage.
In Islam, both the husband and the wife have a right to sex and to gain pleasure from it. Men are supposed to make sure that sex is enjoyable for their wife, like by doing things like kiss and to cuddle and to have foreplay and to make sure that his wife also reaches orgasm. When a man initiates sex with his wife, she's expected to respond- but this does not make her out to a sex slave or the like, far from it, it should be because their marriage is a happy and Islamic one, and because they wish to please each other and fulfill each others rights and desires.
Of course, if the wife isn't feeling well or something like that, of course the husband can't expect her to be up for sex- and that's another important thing. Husbands have to have respect for their wives and know they are not machines and can just be switched on and off just like that! The husband needs to take his wife's current state and desires in mind and be loving and compassionate and not be a brute and make unreasonable demands on her.
If one spouse decides to just never have sex, that's a problem. They can, of course, freely refuse the other partner's desire to have sex, even though it is disliked. It is the right of the husband/wife to have sex with their spouse... That's when things like going to a doctor to see if there is an hormonal problem or seeing a marriage counselor or many other options come in...
Now, as for the infamous verse that "allows spousal abuse"- it doesn't. I'll quote it...
004.034
YUSUFALI: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).
PICKTHAL: Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
SHAKIR: Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
First, let me explain the verse a little, where it says that men are the "protectors/maintainers" of women. Generally, men are larger and stronger than women on average. Of course, some men are weaker than your average woman, and that some women are stronger than your average man, but that's a minority. There's nothing sexist or wrong about that, it's just how things are. Men have the responsibility of physically protecting women.
Just to throw a personal experience in this, I'm a woman. I'm 5'2". I'm disabled. Most men are going to be a lot stronger and better able to fight a lot better than I can, even though I come equipped with a cane that can be a formidable weapon.
Shortly after the election, I was walking with a few friends to one of my friend's apartment. Outside of the apartments there were a group of people, whites and blacks- who were getting worked up about the election and blocking the entrance to the apartments. There were four of us, my friend M and her boyfriend (who are white), my other friend J (he's black), and me ( I'm mixed, a little white, hispanic, punjabi melting pot). A violent fight broke out between those groups while we were trying to get around them and to her apartment. M's boyfriend pulled her away quickly, they ran. My friend J, who is a large man, grabbed me, shielded me with his body, and kept me safe until we could get out at a much slower pace- remember, I'm disabled. If J hadn't have done that, I could have been hurt- even if I wasn't disabled, I'm still a small woman. It wasn't sexist, J could far better take on an angry mob than I could, and I'm really thankful to J for doing that.
As for men being the maintainers of women- in Islam, men are supposed to provide financially for a woman, like a father provide for his daughter or a husband provide her his life. Men have to pay for a woman's housing/shelter, food, clothing, medical care, education... even if the woman has her own job and can afford to do those things, it's the man's responsibility. A man can not have his wife's money, it is her money to spend on whatever she wants to. (On that note, that's why women inherit less than men, it's not sexism, it's that men have to provide for their families while women don't.)
(((Continued in next post... sorry, the software won't let me post this all as one post...))