Write My Tombstone!

[Wirey]

My wife tells me I can save a bundle if I buy my tombstone now. I thought I could save a bundle by blowing that money on a craps table at the Venetian and sticking my kids with the bill, but I was way off. So, I have to pick what it's going to say. I'm tossed up between:

Here lies Wirey, an athiest. All dressed up and no place to go!

or;

Secretly, was I ever gay!

I'm wide open to suggestions. And please, I'm the kind of person who likes poor taste humour, so indulge me.

 

[Revoltingest]

Proposed inscriptions on Wirey's tombstone

1) Can I borrow another $10?
2) Good bye, Revoltingest, my true love!
3) I'm still alive! I was just really drunk. Get me out!
4) I'll see you all in Hellistan!

Proposed epitaph at Wirey's funeral
1) I promised to sprinkle a bottle of 20 year old scotch whiskey over dear Wirey's grave.
Now, will you all please avert your eyes. (I'll filter it thru my kidneys first.)

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

"Never mind."

 

[tumbleweed41]

"Here, hold my beer and watch this...."

 

[Debater Slayer]

"I still can't find my damn socks."

 

[England my lionheart]

I was here
here i was
was i here
i think i was

 

[Reverend Richard]

I'll be back!

 

[Quagmire]

"Darn it!
I finally I get a chance
To have the last word
And
I can't think of anything."​

 

[Draka]

Printed really small so someone has to get close to read it:

"If you can read this you're standing on me...GET OFF!"

 

[4consideration]

I found a treasure box full of gold. I buried it in a safe place.

 

[Draka]

I found a treasure box full of gold. I buried it in a safe place.

Along those lines:

"I took it with me"

 

[Marble]

Finally, here he rests.
Never again shall we hear him sing - hopefully.

 

[BSM1]

"Really, quit playing around and get me out of here..."

 

[Revoltingest]

More tombstone epitaphs:
1) No, no....I'm in the one to your right.
2) See you during the zombie apocalypse!
3) Time to rethink my love of Canadian health care.

 

[4consideration]

Call before you dig.

 

[Draka]

"Will Witness Protection really pay for this?"

 

[Sir Doom]

"This rock has words on it."
or
"I hope you read English or this joke won't work."

 

[Me Myself]

"I admit it"

 

[4consideration]

Wirey

He sought
then found
his ground

 

[waitasec]

what now?