Who would you protect?

[Heneni]

Hello!

Here is a question about practical morality.

Your best friends girlfriend/boyfriend comes on to you, and suggest you do the hanky panky.

What do you do?

1. Tell - relationship breaks up
2. Dont tell - what he/she doesnt know wont hurt them.
3. Tell - its important that your best friend knows what type of girlfriend/boyfriend he/she has.
4. Do the hanky panky and keep it between the two of you.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

3.
Actually, I was just in a similiar situation not more than two weeks ago. Only my friend was with a girl who was a friend of my girlfriends, and the girl already had a boyfriend.

 

[Heneni]

3.
Actually, I was just in a similiar situation not more than two weeks ago. Only my friend was with a girl who was a friend of my girlfriends, and the girl already had a boyfriend.

And how did you break the news?

 

[Mike182]

I voted both of the tell options. If a friend's SO would come onto me, they would come onto others, putting my friend at risk.

 

[Alex_G]

Yeah numero 3 is important. Especially so if my bestfriend is the girl lol

 

[3.14]

to me it depends on how far in the relationship it is and how hot she is, everyone goes a bit wild ones and a while

 

[Phasmid]

3, though it depends. If my friend were a complete jerk to his SO, I would go for 4 since he likely deserved it, though I'd only take that option if I thought a meaningful relationship could be forged by it. Though if my friend were a good guy, I'd have to go with 3.

 

[Tsarkoe Selo]

If only people kept to what they say online....

 

[Mike182]

If only people kept to what they say online....

are you aiming that at anyone specifically?

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Depends on how hot the girl is....

 

[YmirGF]

I prefer to be brutally honest with people. What they don't know can indeed hurt them.

 

[blackout]

I would say, "Oh. You have an open relationship then?"
"So let's run it by your significant other first,
to make sure he/she is in agreement,
and also welcomed into "the triangle". :flirt:

Seriously, I would want to know what was going on.
Sometimes there are factors, one does not know,
and I would seek to understand their relationship before proceeding
any particular way. I would have questions for sure.
Every relationship has it's own dynamic, and reason for being.

One should not be pretending, though,
that a relationship is something it's not,
and certainly not long term.
Sometimes a person is not sure.
Or a couple is experimenting.
Or is in a stage of transition.
These are all relevent factors.

 

[Charity]

If someone was cheating on me I would want to know, I would expect my best friend to tell me just as I would tell her.

 

[whereismynotecard]

Well, my sister's boyfriend is weird. I've never met him, but she told him about how I never wanted to have secks, and he told her that when he met me, he'd change my mind. So if he suggested to do the "hanky panky," which I assume is secks, I'd laugh, and assume that he was just being silly.

(edit: and I say this because when you said "my best friend" I thought of my sister.)

 

[mrscardero]

I would say, "Oh. You have an open relationship then?"
"So let's run it by your significant other first,
to make sure he/she is in agreement,
and also welcomed into "the triangle". :flirt:

Seriously, I would want to know what was going on.
Sometimes there are factors, one does not know,
and I would seek to understand their relationship before proceeding
any particular way. I would have questions for sure.
Every relationship has it's own dynamic, and reason for being.

One should not be pretending, though,
that a relationship is something it's not,
and certainly not long term.
Sometimes a person is not sure.
Or a couple is experimenting.
Or is in a stage of transition.
These are all relevent factors.

Took the words right out of my fingers.
If someone hit on cardero and wants to do the hanky panky,
he has a note. We have an understanding. The only thing is,
if the SO has a SO, then that SO should be aware that their
SO wants to do the hanky panky with cardero. Visa Versa.

 

[DallasApple]

What if your friends significant other doesnt appraoch you specifically for "hanky panky"..but you find out that your friends significant other is having hanky panky with someone else?

Operate under the asumption that your friend wants/believes they are in a monogomous relationship and expects monogomy...

As to the OP...if my friend thought he/she was in a monogomous relationship I would be torn.I defineately woudl turn the offer down... And I think after that what I would do is tell the would be cheater to confess to my friend ..or else I would tell..The would be cheater wouldnt even have to use my name..Just confess that he/she is in fact capable of cheating..and would if given the opportunity...and recently attempted..

The danger in telling the friend yourself??..Is sometimes love is blind..and your friend just might choose to believe their SO if they say you are lying alltogether..and or ...blame you by turning around and saying you were the one doing the backstabbling....Thats not something I want to be in the middle of if at all avoidable.

Love

Dallas

 

[Heneni]

I'm sure there are people who woudnt mind sharing their other halve with somebody else so long as they are OK with it.

I for one will never be ok with it. Not only am I not OK to share my partner , but in the long run, ill really wonder why he would be willing to share me.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

And how did you break the news?

I straight up told my friend, very bluntly and down to the point, he didn't want to be with her because she was with someone, and I showed him the girl's boyfriend's myspace page.