1. Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

When Is It Permissible to Marry?

Discussion in 'General Religious Debates' started by SalixIncendium, Feb 19, 2018.

  1. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium Vestigial Member
    Staff Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2016
    Messages:
    17,749
    Ratings:
    +31,479
    Religion:
    Hindu
    My brother and sister-in-law, who are Catholic, were required to partake in a pre-marriage interview with the pastor of their church which was a process of multiple meetings that, as I understood it, was a form of the Church signing off on the marriage as a legitimate sacred covenant.

    With such a high divorce rate in many nations, do you have a barometer in which it's morally permissible to get married? Does your religion have a similar process to Catholicism? If so, what is it?
     
  2. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    76,126
    Ratings:
    +37,789
    Religion:
    Non-Theistic Mysticism
    Permissible? I'd say that a major condition is you have not falsely represented yourself to your prospective victim partner. And I don't think it's permissible to marry someone you have coerced, tricked, or trapped into marrying you unless her name is Rival. Then all bets are off.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  3. RedDragon94

    RedDragon94 Love everyone, meditate often

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2014
    Messages:
    2,701
    Ratings:
    +726
    I think age and income both contribute to a person's ability to get married. Neither should be dispensed with.
     
  4. Orbit

    Orbit I'm a planet

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
    Messages:
    2,857
    Ratings:
    +3,926
    Religion:
    Dinner
    Plenty of poor people get married, though recently there is a demographic trend that higher income people get married at higher rates.
     
  5. RedDragon94

    RedDragon94 Love everyone, meditate often

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2014
    Messages:
    2,701
    Ratings:
    +726
    Which makes sense because there's more stability.
     
  6. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2009
    Messages:
    9,577
    Ratings:
    +2,719
    Religion:
    Theistic Rationalist-Christian
    Being a non-denominational Christian.

    Marriage imho has always been between the 2 people involved and God (if they are Christians). I never really understood why I need a "holy" man to justify that.

    Legally yes someone has to approve a marriage license for the legal part. But that is different.

    When I make a promise (vows) to my wife it is up to me to keep it, and she is responsible for keep her promise (vows) to me. Under God we promise (vow) to keep to each other and treat each other with love and respect. It's easier said than done of course. Marriage is very challenging and not for the faint of heart.


    Disclaimer: This is how I personally feel. It is not how I think other should feel/live. Therefore I do not judge others if they disagree with it, and do differently.
     
    #6 Enoch07, Feb 19, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Frater Sisyphus

    Frater Sisyphus Contradiction, irrationality and disorder

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2018
    Messages:
    583
    Ratings:
    +350
    Religion:
    Thelemite (and strong-Theist)
    Outside of consent and age (which shouldn't even have to be said), if both partners don't have a solid job - aka money coming in, then getting married and buying a house is useless. Getting married and moving back in with the parents is also....not advised.

    I don't personally think marriage is particularly relevant if circumstances aren't right.

    If both persons believe that marriage is the way to go for their relationship but they can't actually afford to put in the work to get themselves a stable living situation, then I would strongly advise against it.

    I also think it is pathetic to get married for religious reasons, both arranged....and the typical "we want to have sex but not break the commandments" reason - them trying not to be "sexually immoral".

    People don't realize how big of a leap marriage is, practically. I see/hear of people breaking up for all kinds of reasons all the time, some people aren't made for each other in the long-term - even if they fancy a bit of bedroom fun together.

    Depending on where you live, owning a house is getting dearer and dearer every year. I wonder if it will get to the extent that the current young generations won't be able to even afford a house when they're adults :confused:
     
  8. Grandliseur

    Grandliseur Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2008
    Messages:
    2,236
    Ratings:
    +576
    Religion:
    Pragmatic Christian
    Even when I belonged to a denomination, I could have gone to the city office and married - if the occasion had been there - without the church's blessing. There was never to my knowledge any teaching about this when I was young.
     
  9. dfnj

    dfnj Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2017
    Messages:
    3,285
    Ratings:
    +1,595
    Religion:
    My Own
    The biggest danger to marriage in this country is not homosexuality but divorce!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. sun rise

    sun rise Śvāna Dharma
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2014
    Messages:
    75,777
    Ratings:
    +39,701
    Religion:
    Love/Omnism
    I think the biggest question is to be thoughtful about what marriage will really entail. Sometimes a third party, be it priest, rabbi, psychologist or whomever can be helpful.
     
  11. 9-10ths_Penguin

    9-10ths_Penguin 1/10 Subway Stalinist
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    66,423
    Ratings:
    +25,043
    Religion:
    None (atheist)
    My ex-wife is (was?) Catholic, so I went through a Catholic marriage preparation course. To their credit, they only spent about a quarter of the class time on religious stuff and spent the rest mainly on conflict resolution and finances.

    It didn’t work for us - we ended up getting divorced 7 years later, but I do think that the course was a good idea and probably reduced the likelihood of divorce for most of the couples there.

    ... but what I thought was absolutely toxic about the Catholic approach were their unhealthy positions on sexuality. Personally, not only do I think premarital sex should be allowed, I almost think it should be a requirement for marriage. This insistence on virginity at marriage from many denominations cheapens not only marriage but also the couple entering into the marriage. Marriage is too important an institution for people to rush into it just to get laid.
     
  12. 9-10ths_Penguin

    9-10ths_Penguin 1/10 Subway Stalinist
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    66,423
    Ratings:
    +25,043
    Religion:
    None (atheist)
    In my case, the biggest danger to marriage turned out to be the Catholic Church... or at least my inability to accept its teachings.
     
  13. Aupmanyav

    Aupmanyav Be your own guru

    Joined:
    May 5, 2007
    Messages:
    31,987
    Ratings:
    +15,492
    Religion:
    Atheist, Advaita (Non-duality), Orthodox Hindu
    Yes, we have a 'barometer'. The parents make the readings and not religion. And the divorce rates are much lower. Parents check behavioural and financial situation in each other's families before they agree to the marriage of their children. :)
     
Loading...