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What's the Best Way To Become Less Self-Centered?

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by Sunstone, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    How true, how true! (and I love your new signature! Great show)
     
  2. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    Overcome tragedy and grief.
     
  3. Ðanisty

    Ðanisty Well-Known Member

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    What's the point? We should all be self-centered. That doesn't mean we shouldn't care about others...just that we should take care of ourselves first. If we don't, then position are we in to help anyway?
     
  4. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    How far should "take care of ourselves first" be taken? Is there a clear divide between taking care of myself and not caring about others?
     
  5. Ðanisty

    Ðanisty Well-Known Member

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    Taking care of yourself first doesn't really have anything to do with caring about others. If you don't make yourself a priority, who will? You're free to care as much or as little about others as you want. I just think it's best that you make sure that doesn't interfere with taking care of yourself.
     
  6. Willamena

    Willamena Just me
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    This is off-topic, but to me that's exactly what "being in love"means: caring for another as much as you care for yourself.
     
  7. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    Good question. You can't think of anyone?

    I don't disagree, I just want to explore the implications of what it means to be sure to take care of one's self first. If I can make a lot of money polluting a local water supply, and buy my way out of trouble for a lot less than I'll make, should I do it? Even though I know it will result in poisoning thousands of families and their children?
     
  8. Ðanisty

    Ðanisty Well-Known Member

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    I know people who will, but I don't count on that. Everyone should take responsibility for themselves and I feel not taking care of yourself before everyone else is irresponsible. Besides, even those generous people eventually run out of giving. There's only so far people can stretch themselves.

    This is not quite what I'm talking about. I think there's a difference between not caring about others and actually harming others.
     
  9. Ðanisty

    Ðanisty Well-Known Member

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    Then we have different definitions. :D There's no way I can be a good wife if I don't take care of myself...it won't matter how much I do for my husband. Also, I make a distinction between loving someone and being in love with someone.
     
  10. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    Is it always clear that my self-centered actions aren't harming anyone? What if I simply choose not to think about it?
     
  11. Willamena

    Willamena Just me
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    Well, my statement doesn't mean not caring for yourself. :)

    And if your distinction of "being in love" and "loving" includes the emotional rush of "falling in love," then I make a distinction too.
     
  12. Ðanisty

    Ðanisty Well-Known Member

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    Some people will choose that and it's exactly why we have to take care of ourselves first. I can't count on anyone else to choose what's good for me.
     
  13. michel

    michel Administrator Emeritus
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    Nice one; very wise.:bow:
     
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  14. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    You think everyone should approach the world this way?
     
  15. Ðanisty

    Ðanisty Well-Known Member

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    I think that's the world we live in.
     
  16. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    Should anyone act other than primarily out of self-interest if anybody else does not?
     
  17. Ðanisty

    Ðanisty Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure what you're getting at because I feel you're misrepresenting what I'm saying. Please don't lawyer me. I'm saying that if you don't take care of yourself first then you aren't going to be able to help others and there's never any guarantee that others will care about you as much as you care about yourself, even people you think should care that much.. This isn't such a radical concept. In fact, people generally agree that if mothers aren't mentally and physically healthy and caring for themselves, there's no way they can care for their children properly. Whether or not you care about others has nothing to do with caring for yourself first. If you want to care for others, you can do so, but not at your own expense. Then you're just a burden anyway instead of the help that you wanted to be.
     
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  18. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    I'm not misrepresenting anything. The OP question is "What's the Best Way to Become Less Self-Centered?" and your response was: "What's the point? We should all be self-centered."

    I'm just exploring the meaning of that statement. That's all. :peace:
     
  19. Booko

    Booko Deviled Hen

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    FVM already went through the angles I'd be working on.

    Here's an interesting exercise I learned from a Buddhist monk once: See how long you can manage without saying "I" or "me."

    Even if you don't last for long, it makes you more aware of just how much the word gets used, and in what contexts.

    It kicks me into "survival mode." That may make me more concerned about my own physical self, but the alternative is to be stupid and check out early, in which case I'm surely of use to no one.

    It depends. I've seen some pretty weird expressions of "love". The real deal, yeah, that will cause one to be less self-centered. The twisted variety goes in the opposite direction.

    It depends on the goal. Is the goal of doing something purely self-aggrandizement? Or is there something more to it? I'm working on a Ph.D. at the moment. I could be doing that for "bragging rights" or I could be doing that because I hope to learn something that might be of assistance to people.

    Ah, the age old question posed by Polonius' statement. It's true then -- all human wisdom has been summed up in the pages of Hamlet. ;)

    Danisty makes some excellent points about the importance of taking care of yourself, or you're no good for anyone else. I've seen a few doormats in my day self-destruct. I suggest that is not being true to yourself, and ultimately it's harmful. Someone is going to have to pick up your pieces when you finally explode.

    If we take care of ourselves, there will be something left for others as well, and it will last for the long run rather than flame out early. Moderation is the key here.
     
  20. doppelganger

    doppelganger Through the Looking Glass

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    :sarcastic
     
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