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What to do about endless, aimless gossiping, complaining and fault finding

Discussion in 'The Social World' started by Jim, May 27, 2019.

  1. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    What I see for me to do is the same as for all the other problems and needs of the world, and for human progress: Continually improving my own practice of what I’m promoting; learning to be a better friend to more people; learning to tell stories; helping with the growth and spread of healthier, happier and more loving communities; and bringing all that up for discussion sometimes.

    Any other ideas?

    What I’m promoting to do about endless, aimless gossiping, complaining and fault finding is strictly abstaining from it, denouncing and ridiculing it sometimes, and sometimes denouncing and ridiculing the lame excuses that people make up for it.
     
    #1 Jim, May 27, 2019
    Last edited: May 27, 2019
  2. Skwim

    Skwim Veteran Member

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    Fight fire with fire.

    Fight the endless, aimless gossiping, complaining and fault finding with endless, aimless gossiping, complaining and fault finding of your own.

    .
     
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  3. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    @Skwim I rated your post “useful” because it bumped the thread. :p
     
  4. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    @Skwim Thinking about it some more, I see that your post might also be useful in whatever way you meant for it to be, if you meant for it to be.
     
  5. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, read the Writings and take them seriously...

    “The most hateful characteristic of man is fault-finding.”
    (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. IV, No.11, p. 192)

    “O ye Cohorts of God! Beware lest ye offend the feelings of anyone, or sadden the heart of any person, or move the tongue in reproach of and finding fault with anybody, whether he is friend or stranger, believer or enemy.”
    Tablets of Abdul-Baha Abbas, p. 45

    26: O SON OF BEING! How couldst thou forget thine own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others? Whoso doeth this is accursed of Me.
    The Hidden Words of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 10

    66: O EMIGRANTS! The tongue I have designed for the mention of Me, defile it not with detraction. If the fire of self overcome you, remember your own faults and not the faults of My creatures, inasmuch as every one of you knoweth his own self better than he knoweth others.
    The Hidden Words of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 45
     
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  6. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    If duct tape wasn't so inhumane... That might have worked on the gossip. ;)
     
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  7. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Interesting thread!

    Criticising others sure is one of the best ways to sabotage your own happiness.

    I know from doing it personally for many yeears!

    Not sure how to inspire people to aim a little higher. Wish I had an answer for you.

    There is enough negativity in the world already.

    How to Respond to Negative People Without Being Negative

    Best of luck!
     
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  8. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    I meditated long and hard on the difference between negative criticism, and simple observation. Sometimes you're just observing, nothing else. The difference lies in the emotion put into it. For observation, there is no emotion at all, it's like saying 'the sky is blue' or 'that person is tall'. You're emotionally detached, no feeling with it. In backbiting, and all that other lovely stuff, it carries much more emotion and feeling.
     
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  9. usfan

    usfan Active Member

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    [​IMG]

    It is the nature of man. We can 'discuss' the things that interest us. Many people, however, are fixated on people, and have trouble expressing or discussing ideas.
     
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  10. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Not banned yet.
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    "....aimless gossiping, complaining and fault finding"
    I like to join in.
     
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  11. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    You can't. It's you we're gossiping about over on that secret thread the mods created, hidden from you. Sorry.
     
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  12. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Not banned yet.
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    Whether for good or ill, to be spoken of is to matter.
     
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  13. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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  14. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    There are a few people in that thread who try their best to defend you, tis true. They seem under your spell, for some strange reason. You're a powerful man.
     
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  15. Katja

    Katja Member

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    Avoid those people?
     
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  16. osgart

    osgart Nothing my eye, Something for sure

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    If you want to find the fault provide the remedy.
     
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  17. wandering peacefully

    wandering peacefully Active Member

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    Don't dwell on them. Try to understand they are miserable people inside for some reason or another. If it is from circumstances out of their control such as a very hard life then try to sympathize with their miserableness. If it is because they are an egotistical control freak, just ignore them and be happy that you yourself are not like that. Some people will always until the day they die, be miserable human beings .
     
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  18. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    I find it useful to remind myself that people only "misbehave" when they are frustrated by their own suffering.

    They need compassion but won't get a LOT of it from your average person ...

    Cheers!
     
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  19. sooda

    sooda Well-Known Member

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    The Hebrew term lashon hara (or loshon horo) (Hebrew לשון הרע; "evil tongue") is the halakhic term for derogatory speech about another person. Lashon hara differs from defamation in that its focus is on the use of true speech for a wrongful purpose, rather than falsehood and harm arising.
    Lashon hara - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lashon_hara
     
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