Trying to return to Satanism

[VioletVortex]

As most here probably know, I have a background of being a Theistic Satanist for a few years. Every night, I felt like I was becoming "One with Satan" as I was trying to go to sleep. A sense of a higher state of sentience; an increased level or perception, would come over me and I would make certain realizations.

In more recent months, however, I started deviating from Satanism because it isn't my own. I'm not going to expound on the whole ancestral side of things, but that is the primary reason I began to gravitate towards Heathenry. That, and I also saw something within the mythology.

Generally, I have been satisfied with my beliefs, but every so often, I will feel incomplete without Satan. When I was a Satanist, Satan gave my life meaning, but now, I feel somewhat directionless. Again, though, some of my views are keeping me from Satanism.

If anyone has some advice on how to rekindle my kinship with Satan, please post it.

 

[Luciferi Baphomet]

As most here probably know, I have a background of being a Theistic Satanist for a few years. Every night, I felt like I was becoming "One with Satan" as I was trying to go to sleep. A sense of a higher state of sentience; an increased level or perception, would come over me and I would make certain realizations.

I was a Theistic Satanist too but then later I changed to becoming a Luciferian Satanist in June 2016.
What do you mean by becoming One with Satan?

In more recent months, however, I started deviating from Satanism because it isn't my own. I'm not going to expound on the whole ancestral side of things, but that is the primary reason I began to gravitate towards Heathenry. That, and I also saw something within the mythology.

Hm do you feel that Satanism is the perfect fit for you? Does following Lucifer make you happy?

Generally, I have been satisfied with my beliefs, but every so often, I will feel incomplete without Satan. When I was a Satanist, Satan gave my life meaning, but now, I feel somewhat directionless. Again, though, some of my views are keeping me from Satanism.

Honestly I would feel incomplete without him either. Their is something about him that I need him in my life to guide me.
What are your views you have about Satanism? Maybe I can help you.

I hope you come back to Satanism some day

 

[Adramelek]

As most here probably know, I have a background of being a Theistic Satanist for a few years. Every night, I felt like I was becoming "One with Satan" as I was trying to go to sleep. A sense of a higher state of sentience; an increased level or perception, would come over me and I would make certain realizations.

In more recent months, however, I started deviating from Satanism because it isn't my own. I'm not going to expound on the whole ancestral side of things, but that is the primary reason I began to gravitate towards Heathenry. That, and I also saw something within the mythology.

Generally, I have been satisfied with my beliefs, but every so often, I will feel incomplete without Satan. When I was a Satanist, Satan gave my life meaning, but now, I feel somewhat directionless. Again, though, some of my views are keeping me from Satanism.

If anyone has some advice on how to rekindle my kinship with Satan, please post it.

Hello my friend,

Our own belief systems are not like an unconditional friendship we might have with say a dog or cat. On the Left Hand Path they are like very close friendships we develop over time with an ancient and a highly more intelligent being than our selves. And there will be plenty of times when we may question our own belief systems and struggle with them, it is only natural, it is how we grow in being and how our belief systems become stronger and expand. This struggle happens from time to time even to the best and most experienced of us, especially those of us who walk the path of most resistance. So my advise to you is you might as well get used to it, though these times of struggle are never easy.

Xeper!

 

[VioletVortex]

Hello my friend,

Our own belief systems are not like an unconditional friendship we might have with say a dog or cat. On the Left Hand Path they are like very close friendships we develop over time with an ancient and a highly more intelligent being than our selves. And there will be plenty of times when we may question our own belief systems and struggle with them, it is only natural, it is how we grow in being and how our belief systems become stronger and expand. This struggle happens from time to time even to the best and most experienced of us, especially those of us who walk the path of most resistance. So my advise to you is you might as well get used to it, though these times of struggle are never easy.

Xeper!

Well, I still view myself as a "Satanist" in the sense that my mindset is Satanic, it's just that my belief and kinship with Satan has deteriorated over the past few months. Honestly, I think that one can equate Satan and Wotan in that they are both intellectual deities; gods that embody intelligence, wisdom, physical justice etc. Satan and Wotan could even be the same deity as far as I'm concerned. Wotan was "Satanized" by the Christians who were destroying Europe, so it wouldn't come as any surprise if there is some historical interlock between the two, even though their origins are vastly different.

I feel as if I need both Heathenry and Satanism in my life. I'm not a literalist by any means, I have always seen mythological beings as images humans create to make the supernatural forces more relatable. Of course, I could be wrong, but from what I know, I think that's logical. So, it's not as odd as it may seem for me to oscillate between two religions, it's mainly terminology and the power it holds for me. I just feel incomplete from time to time without the Satanic view on spirituality, if that all makes any sense.

Honestly, I think I'm too caught up in labels. I, like those who conceived the imagery of the deities, need to personify the forces in order to be able to relate to them.

 

[Aštra’el]

Immerse yourself in those sides of human Nature that resonate most with whatever force you've come to understand as "Satan".

 

[VioletVortex]

I was a Theistic Satanist too but then later I changed to becoming a Luciferian Satanist in June 2016.
What do you mean by becoming One with Satan?


Hm do you feel that Satanism is the perfect fit for you? Does following Lucifer make you happy?


Honestly I would feel incomplete without him either. Their is something about him that I need him in my life to guide me.
What are your views you have about Satanism? Maybe I can help you.

I hope you come back to Satanism some day

By "becoming one with Satan", I'm not referring to literal oneness. I'm just saying that my soul felt very consistent with Satan, like I was with him.

What do you mean by Luciferian Satanism as opposed to Theistic Satanism. Are you a Theistic Luciferian who believes that Lucifer is also Satan, or an atheistic Luciferian?

 

[Liu]

Well, I still view myself as a "Satanist" in the sense that my mindset is Satanic, it's just that my belief and kinship with Satan has deteriorated over the past few months. Honestly, I think that one can equate Satan and Wotan in that they are both intellectual deities; gods that embody intelligence, wisdom, physical justice etc. Satan and Wotan could even be the same deity as far as I'm concerned. Wotan was "Satanized" by the Christians who were destroying Europe, so it wouldn't come as any surprise if there is some historical interlock between the two, even though their origins are vastly different.

Even before I read this last post of yours I had the idea that it may help you to equate a heathen god with Satan.
I however had my doubts whether it would fit your theology. But since you wrote the following I think this might work pretty well:

I'm not a literalist by any means, I have always seen mythological beings as images humans create to make the supernatural forces more relatable. Of course, I could be wrong, but from what I know, I think that's logical. So, it's not as odd as it may seem for me to oscillate between two religions, it's mainly terminology and the power it holds for me.

We do not know which names refer to which entity, which entities are one and the same, or whether they even exist at all. So if you get the same vibes from Wotan as from Satan, then I would say, go for it and consider them the same (or aspects of the same) in your worldview.

I just feel incomplete from time to time without the Satanic view on spirituality, if that all makes any sense.

The rest makes a lot of sense, but what do you mean by being without the Satanic view? Is it so related to names for you that you can't have a Satanic view on Heathenry? And earlier you said you consider your mindset to be still Satanic, so I don't really understand the difference.

By "becoming one with Satan", I'm not referring to literal oneness. I'm just saying that my soul felt very consistent with Satan, like I was with him.

I know that feeling, and I wouldn't want to miss it.
But, as Adramelek already mentioned, it's not a steady path we are on. Sometimes I feel this euphoria that comes with it for hours on end, sometimes it's hardly there for days or even weeks.
It's not like I can predict it, but I think meditating and simply spending time with spiritual matters helps with it, as does working on goals you have set yourself, or simply on things you truly enjoy. In other words, it's about actively aligning yourself with your inner will. And this should be possible no matter what name you give this principle, as long as it works for you.

 

[Adramelek]

Well, I still view myself as a "Satanist" in the sense that my mindset is Satanic, it's just that my belief and kinship with Satan has deteriorated over the past few months. Honestly, I think that one can equate Satan and Wotan in that they are both intellectual deities; gods that embody intelligence, wisdom, physical justice etc. Satan and Wotan could even be the same deity as far as I'm concerned.

Honestly, I think I'm too caught up in labels. I, like those who conceived the imagery of the deities, need to personify the forces in order to be able to relate to them.

Perhaps do a ritual invocation of Satan and speak to him as you would a friend without fear. Speak about the deterioration of your kinship with him and your desire for it to be renewed and strengthened, speak to Satan about other concerns and also your hopes and ambitions.

As I see it all the different gods or daimons be them Set, Satan, Wotan, etc., are all different symbolic reflections of certain aspects and powers of that which is called the Prince of Darkness. I call upon certain of these daimons when I desire to immerse myself and tap into these powers.

As for labels, yes sometimes they can be an annoyance, but even though I am Setian I don't mind being labeled or called a Satanist as that is where I began my journey on the Path.

Xeper.

 

[Sutekh]

In more recent months, however, I started deviating from Satanism because it isn't my own.

That is perhaps a normal statement to make, Satanism you see is not meant for everyone, it is only meant for those that fits with them. In my own view you can't convert to satanism just like Islam or Christianity. LaVey once made a statement that is always within my mind and I agree to this statement that "Satanists are born, not made." Some people like me who realized that we are Satanists, were born with that perception of self realization. Many individuals I believe have this self realization and this perception within them but have not known this perception to be within them consciously. This perception I call the Black Flame.

 

[Sutekh]

an increased level or perception, would come over me and I would make certain realizations.

Your path has been evolving over time which is perfectly normal, my path has been evolving lately as well.

 

[Sutekh]

If anyone has some advice on how to rekindle my kinship with Satan, please post it.

I can't necessarily give you my own advices for you to follow, The Left Hand Path to me including Satanism is an individualist path. You as the individualist are on your own journey within your path. The only recommendation that I can perhaps give you is do not be a follower nor a leader but an individualist who thinks on his own and an individualist who is creative on his own as well.

 

[Sutekh]

Immerse yourself in those sides of human Nature that resonate most with whatever force you've come to understand as "Satan".

@Iron Wizard You can also syncretize various methods and various systems that could suit ones path as well. This is my only advice that I could give you to help you on your journey. The rest you must figure out on your own.

 

[Sutekh]

Perhaps do a ritual invocation of Satan and speak to him as you would a friend without fear. Speak about the deterioration of your kinship with him and your desire for it to be renewed and strengthened, speak to Satan about other concerns and also your hopes and ambitions.

In my own ritual schedules, I prefer to do my ritual workings at Night, you normally feel a moment of silence as well. You are in complete darkness with music and candles only having your pendant and your sigil altar. With me I would not read my invocations to the dark lords quickly but I would utilize visualization when reading and after reading as key components to tapping within these forces and realms.

 

[Sutekh]

@Iron Wizard as Adramelek might had given you some advice on making an invocation to Satan, I can also recommend great ritual music as well to you.

 

[Liu]

In more recent months, however, I started deviating from Satanism because it isn't my own.

That is perhaps a normal statement to make, Satanism you see is not meant for everyone, it is only meant for those that fits with them. In my own view you can't convert to satanism just like Islam or Christianity. LaVey once made a statement that is always within my mind and I agree to this statement that "Satanists are born, not made." Some people like me who realized that we are Satanists, were born with that perception of self realization. Many individuals I believe have this self realization and this perception within them but have not known this perception to be within them consciously. This perception I call the Black Flame.

I agree with your words, but I would have understood Iron Wizard's words differently.
So, @Iron Wizard: It depends on what exactly you mean, but in my opinion Satanism is about making it one's own. If you find the kinds of Satanism you encounter in others don't entirely click with you and you need some modifications to feel at home with it, then change those parts - no one is stopping you but yourself.
I have the impression, and you mentioned it yourself, that it's mostly an issue of labels for you, so ignore what others connect with the labels and fill them with your own definitions.

 

[Mindmaster]

If anyone has some advice on how to rekindle my kinship with Satan, please post it.

I hate to be the stick in the mud, but why?

OK, let me clarify, what do you have to lose just being the way you are? What views are you required to have to believe in Satan, or feel affinity toward him? Personally, I borrow quite a bit from LaVey though skip a lot of the lex talonis, and other worthless parts of the philosophy. In that case, for example, I decided that it only matters to seek vengeance if it would please you to. The only core belief I think even matters is a positive outlook on Satan, and that doesn't even mean a master-slave relationship - merely being inspired, and knowing he's there.

A real theistic, to me, arrives at that path over a long period of time with a lot of personal relation to Satan proper. They don't believe anything without knowing and seeing what is there. I was a LaVey Satanist long before that, and grew to where I am. I expect anyone logical or sensible to grow to a spiritual understanding through discovery rather than have faith. Faith isn't really the mode of operation that suits a theistic Satanist, IMHO.

You're pretty young, don't rush it, everything is fine. If you keep looking for Satan, you will find him. It's really that simple.

 

[Adramelek]

In more recent months, however, I started deviating from Satanism because it isn't my own.

Awe, you see that is the key, make it your own. The LHP is not about dogma or indoctrination, it is about studying, practicing, and adopting those magical techniques and philosophies that inspire and work for you, and you developing/creating your own personal belief system. Creating your own belief system is what metaphysical schools of the Left Hand Path and Black Arts like the Temple of Set and Order of the Serpent are all about.

Xeper.

 

[Sutekh]

Awe, you see that is the key, make it your own. The LHP is not about dogma or indoctrination, it is about studying, practicing, and adopting those magical techniques and philosophies that inspire and work for you, and you developing/creating your own personal belief system. Creating your own belief system is what metaphysical schools of the Left Hand Path and Black Arts like the Temple of Set and the Order of the Serpent are all about.

Xeper.

You it hit right on the head, I can understand where Iron wizard is coming from. I used to be the consumer myself by following everything out of a book, I am still successful by breaking away from this habit as the consumer, I have been more or less developing other things that are practical for me. I Still apply most of LaVeys Magickal systems since I find it simple and useful. But I am also developing other ideas within my own Path known as the Satanic Work.

 

[Sutekh]

But, as Adramelek already mentioned, it's not a steady path we are on.

This Path that we are on is not for everyone, it is a challenging and a tough path. I myself have experienced these things of depression and a loss for friendships in general, it is hard for one who is on his path battling these things in general. I tend to regard this as battling Har-Wer and Set, I have experienced Sets way of testing the individual upon this universe in general. I used to regard Set as a teacher and mentor in general but he isn't, his job is being the tester the one who sides with Har-Wer on challenging the initiate or individual by making his path harder to accomplish in general, this is of course an act of testing the individual to see if the individual is worthy to accomplish the things within his own path.

 

[Adramelek]

This Path that we are on is not for everyone, it is a challenging and a tough path. I myself have experienced these things of depression and a loss for friendships in general, it is hard for one who is on his path battling these things in general. I tend to regard this as battling Har-Wer and Set, I have experienced Sets way of testing the individual upon this universe in general. I used to regard Set as a teacher and mentor in general but he isn't, his job is being the tester the one who sides with Har-Wer on challenging the initiate or individual by making his path harder to accomplish in general, this is of course an act of testing the individual to see if the individual is worthy to accomplish the things within his own path.

Well, to me Set is a teacher and mentor, a tester, Set is the Great Initiator, he does seek to challenge us which is a way of strengthening our magical, intellectual, and spiritual muscles. Set is also a best friend and kindred spirit, who does indeed think of those who think of him.