If someone calls my son handicapped, impaired, or disabled, I don't have any problems with that.
If someone calls my son "otherly-abled," or a lot of more recent terms, I'll roll my eyes and continue to refer to him as handicapped, impaired, disabled...
If someone calls my son (or frankly, anyone else) a retard, a moron, an idiot or so on, then I have a problem with that...when I grew up, retarded, moron, idiot, freak, etc., may have been the official medical/psychological terms used among specialists, but in practice had become insults.
By the time I became a young adult (and we adopted our son), the new "neutral" terms---handicapped, impaired, disabled--had been developed...I like those terms, and even though I am aware that some use them as insults, they don't have the emotional baggage for me.
As for the newer terms, I think it's just stupid to come up with some of the expressions.
I see the same sorts of things happening with concepts of race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, politics, intelligence, education, and so on.
My feeling is that one should be aware of how others might take the words they use, and therefore be very careful when using words that might be fraught with other meanings. It ends up turning the discussion from some point that was intended, to something that is unintended...it disrupts or ends communication...
Likewise, those who get offended easily ought to take a chill pill...take a deep breath...and understand that the speaker might not really mean it in the way you're taking it...I do the same as much as I can these days...
In practice, that means I don't engage in conversations much with people who regularly use terms such as libtard or deplorables, or lots of other terms that I know are emotional landmines deployed by trolls...