Today my father-in-law passed away after a very hard years long illness. My husband and I met when we were teenagers and Jim was a calm and steadfast fixture of my young adult life and will be sorely missed. We are relieved he is no longer suffering, and that the grieving process can pass and leave us with happy memories.
It's very generous to share such and parents are blessed once if having childs of gratitude, here, and here after.
Maybe householder likes to remember to dedicate her merits to all beloved and worthy, to all beings near and far, as often as possible, may it small or large good giving and let go:
Dedication of Merit
Puññassidāni katassa
Yānaññāni katāni me
Tesañca bhāgino hontu
Sattānantāppamāṇaka.
May all beings — without limit, without end —
have a share in the merit just now made,
and in whatever other merit I have made.
Ye piyā guṇavantā ca
Mayhaṃ mātā-pitādayo
Diṭṭhā me cāpyadiṭṭhā vā
Aññe majjhatta-verino;
Those who are dear & kind to me —
beginning with my mother & father —
whom I have seen or never seen;
and others, neutral or hostile;
Sattā tiṭṭhanti lokasmiṃ
Te-bhummā catu-yonikā
Pañc'eka-catuvokārā
Saṃsarantā bhavābhave:
beings established in the cosmos —
the three realms, the four modes of birth,
with five, one, or four aggregates —
wandering on from realm to realm:
Ñātaṃ ye pattidānam-me
Anumodantu te sayaṃ
Ye cimaṃ nappajānanti
Devā tesaṃ nivedayuṃ.
If they know of my dedication of merit,
may they themselves rejoice,
And if they do not know,
may the devas inform them.
Mayā dinnāna-puññānaṃ
Anumodana-hetunā
Sabbe sattā sadā hontu
Averā sukha-jīvino
By reason of their rejoicing
in my gift of merit,
may all beings always live happily,
free from animosity.
Khemappadañca pappontu
Tesāsā sijjhataṃ subhā.
May they attain the Serene State,
and their radiant hopes be fulfilled.
Since the sharing of merits, especially to former relatives, is such a neglected way in modern/western world, yet so importand, maybe some words on it to do much in this regard:
[Q&A] How can merit be transferred?
Also to prepare fests for the parents:
Fathers goodness reminding day.
Children here, once or more often in there life, would do such. It's not to promote ones possible useless self-pity, but really a gift out of gratitude, a joyful fest.
