Spiderman
Veteran Member
So I woke up miserable and wanting to die and went to Mass today for the first time in a while and there was a statue of Mary holding a Rosary that just warmed my heart and filled my soul with light, joy, and peace every time I glanced at it.
I got a lot out of mass and didn't expect to and it wasn't the sermon, the music, the Scripture readings, communion, or anything you would think it was. It was that I felt close to Mother Mary. The message from her wasn't clear, it was just I felt very close to her, felt like she loved and accepted me, felt that maternal nurturing that only a Mother can give, and went from feeling suicidal and miserable to being joyful, giddy, peaceful, faithful, childlike, meek, humble, and hopeful.
I suppose it could all be in my head, but I don't have the power to transform my mood and emotions like that, or I would make a habit of doing it more often. It came as a huge surprise.
I don't get those graces when I go to God. I get those graces when I go to Mary. I guess God is calling some of us to go to His Mother. I put this in the religious debates because some people think devotion to Mary is evil. Well, nothing fills me more with Christ-like virtues and graces than going to His Mother, so I don't see how it can be evil.
Truly, I woke up feeling empty, tired, miserable, hopeless, and wishing I was dead, went to mass and was truly amazed at how my mood, attitude, and emotions flipped to the opposite of joy, peace, love for God (who I had grown to hate), gratitude, humility, meekness, giggling inside, and lots of positive energy.
Would you still say my experience was evil? I also get more out of praying the Rosary than other prayers/devotions and wear a scapular. Is that evil?
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