The Coffee House - the UU Fellowship Thread

[lilithu]

Where is everyone??!

 

[jamaesi]

Finals!

 

[des]

Yikes, I am taking a bit of a breather. I have ONE week (well now only one more day) to prepare for summer school/camp, due to our unprecedented 1 week off due to snow). I
am doing a pretty exciting (and way way time consuming) space science camp for grade school- mid school kids.

See you later.

--des

 

[jamaesi]

Well, my finals are going smashingly already.

I just went to my first one. 24 hours early.


*screams*

I went by the Official University Finals schedule instead of thinking to look for one that the Professor put on his website that has a purple background with bright red text.

 

[lilithu]

Well, my finals are going smashingly already.

I just went to my first one. 24 hours early.


*screams*

I went by the Official University Finals schedule instead of thinking to look for one that the Professor put on his website that has a purple background with bright red text.

Well, at least 24 hours early is better than 24 hours late.

Good luck!!

 

[jamaesi]

Well, at least 24 hours early is better than 24 hours late.

Good luck!!

Well now I can say I was both early and late to my final.

I slept through it.


I woke up at 8:45 when the final started at 7:30. I panicked, got ready the fast I have ever in my life, got there at 8:50. I then proceeded to sob in front of the professor and class of a couple hundred students.

But he's a kind KIND KIND man and is letting me take it at 2:30 today. I am SO THANKFUL. He pulled me into a side room and said it was okay and he had slept through one of his finals when he was a freshman, too. He asked if I could take for the next class period and I said I had another final at 9:30 but I could come at 11. He laughed and said I could take it at 2:30 at his office and to take a break and relax until then.

I'm just lucky that he and the TA seem to like me, out of a class of hundreds he actually knows my name. I always stayed after class though and discussed things with them though. We had a REALLY interesting discussion once where I sort of paralleled what happened in Europe with Christianity with what is happening in the Middle East with Islam today.

 

[Stairs In My House]

Sorry I've been away from RF for so long. This quarter at school has been horrible. I have decided that I am done with grad school and I really don't need a PhD just so I can endure being junior faculty in a world of fewer and fewer tenure-track positions. So it's off to the job market for me. Anyhow, tying up all kinds of loose ends and generally being miserable at school has kept me very busy, and when I haven't been busy the last thing I wanted to do was engage in any activity that requires thinking. This will probably continue for another week or two.

For the last few days I have been going through a Super Fun Adoptee Experience (tm) and by that I mean a completely suck-tastic time that makes me want to renew my ******* Nation membership. (Oh, look, the "profanity" filter blocks the word that describes someone with my birth circumstances, even when it's in a link to an important adoptee rights organization. I am thoroughly disgusted. Screw you, Religious Forums. There is nothing wrong with that word.) I thought I'd be able to post about it here but now that I've gotten to this point I don't think I can just yet. If any adoptees with search/reunion experience want to PM me, that would be super.

Anyhow, yeah, tough time for me but I think things are looking up. Sorry for being away so long.

 

[lilithu]

Well now I can say I was both early and late to my final.

My, that's quite a feat. Glad your prof is kind. We need more of that in the world. Let us know how it went!

We had a REALLY interesting discussion once where I sort of paralleled what happened in Europe with Christianity with what is happening in the Middle East with Islam today.

Yes, the interesting thing about that parallel is that the violence committed by Christians at that time was against Muslims, and it was motivated by a perceived threat to the Christian way of life due to growing influence of the Islamic world in the West. So there are more similarities than many people know.

Sorry I've been away from RF for so long. This quarter at school has been horrible. I have decided that I am done with grad school and I really don't need a PhD just so I can endure being junior faculty in a world of fewer and fewer tenure-track positions. So it's off to the job market for me. Anyhow, tying up all kinds of loose ends and generally being miserable at school has kept me very busy, and when I haven't been busy the last thing I wanted to do was engage in any activity that requires thinking. This will probably continue for another week or two.

For the last few days I have been going through a Super Fun Adoptee Experience (tm) and by that I mean a completely suck-tastic time that makes me want to renew my ******* Nation membership. (Oh, look, the "profanity" filter blocks the word that describes someone with my birth circumstances, even when it's in a link to an important adoptee rights organization. I am thoroughly disgusted. Screw you, Religious Forums. There is nothing wrong with that word.) I thought I'd be able to post about it here but now that I've gotten to this point I don't think I can just yet. If any adoptees with search/reunion experience want to PM me, that would be super.

Anyhow, yeah, tough time for me but I think things are looking up. Sorry for being away so long.

SIMH, namaste! Glad to see you, so to speak. I was wondering what had happened to you, so thanks for the update.

I am sorry that your life had so stressful lately. As for the filter, yeah... I was once trying to type the lyrics to a christmas carol, "where ox and a$$ are feeding" and the RF filter bleeped it out. Why "*****" is allowed but "a$$" is not is beyond me. The same thing for ba$tard (tho it took me a bit to figure out which word you were referring to.)

Stairs, I know for me, when I am stressed and unhappy, I tend to withdraw from the company of others, because at that time I feel like I am not very good company, and I prefer only to show my better self. I suspect a lot of us do this, despite our claiming that we believe in inherent worth.

I can totally understand if you've just been busy, or heck, have better things to do. But please don't feel like you need to be "thinking" when you come here... at least not in the UU forum. We do too much thinking and not enough just caring for each other, imo.

I am kinda fed up with RF right now. Don't get me wrong, I still think it's remarkably good when compared to other online forums. But I am tired of the gay bashing. I am tired of the Muslim bashing. I am tired of and hurt by the "reverse-racism" arguments. And even when there is no bashing, it seems like we just go over the same arguments over and over again. I think my time is better spent working on my website and my blog (shameless plug). BUT I will continue to check in with the UU forum here. I am committed to you guys. :group:

And I may occasionally post an FYI thread in the larger forums. For example, I recently met the most amazing Imam and also a Muslim activist from his congregation. I met them again tonight as we viewed the documentary "Ghosts of Abu Ghraib" at All Souls. (Anyone who hasn't seen that movie should!) I considered posting about them to the larger RF community, mainly because some people have asked "if there are moderate Muslims, why don't they say anything?" But I just don't feel like opening that can of worms right now. sigh...

Anyway, Khalila, when your finals are over you should check these guys out! The same for the rest of yall. (About checking on the links above, not about finishing finals first.)

 

[Stairs In My House]

Hey, lilithu, great to "see" you too! I think I'll visit your site more often rather than coming here, because I am very unhappy with the moderator response to my complaint about the filtering of ba$tard (why didn't I think of using $? d'oh! but it still wouldn't help with the link.) I can't believe someone would be so unaware of the irony of saying "you can't say the b- word here because this is a family site" to someone wanting to use that word in the context of adoptee activism. Yes, we should be deeply ashamed. But I guess these are the same people who let gay bashing and Muslim bashing go largely unpunished, so go figure.

I guess I will be renewing my membership in Ba$tard Nation (now linked to their MySpace which does not have the offending word in the link, plus there's a cool adoption related video from DMC & Sarah McLachlan, which almost makes up for the fact that I hate MySpace) because clearly a lot of minds need to be changed.

 

[lilithu]

Hey, lilithu, great to "see" you too! I think I'll visit your site more often rather than coming here, because I am very unhappy with the moderator response to my complaint about the filtering of ba$tard (why didn't I think of using $? d'oh! but it still wouldn't help with the link.) I can't believe someone would be so unaware of the irony of saying "you can't say the b- word here because this is a family site" to someone wanting to use that word in the context of adoptee activism. Yes, we should be deeply ashamed. But I guess these are the same people who let gay bashing and Muslim bashing go largely unpunished, so go figure.

I guess I will be renewing my membership in Ba$tard Nation (now linked to their MySpace which does not have the offending word in the link, plus there's a cool adoption related video from DMC & Sarah McLachlan, which almost makes up for the fact that I hate MySpace) because clearly a lot of minds need to be changed.

Well, I don't know what the tone of the moderator response was like - perhaps it could have been more understanding - but I think that the mods are relatively limited by established RF policy in terms of what they can or cannot do. I'm not sure.

The irony is, the word ba$tard is only considered not fit for a family site because we assume there is something wrong with being a ba$tard. One would think that in this day and age that being born out of wedlock would not carry any negative connotations.

As for the gay and Muslim bashing, the mods are again limited in what they can do. They're pretty good about responding to personal attacks. But if, for example, someone starts talking about sin and hell, that can't be stopped because that's an expression of someone's beliefs. I wouldn't censor it on RF either if I were a mod. (Nevertheless, I am tired of it.)

Personally, there is more censorship/mod intervention here than I would like. But I am also aware that as a result of this, conversations tend to remain A LOT more civil than on other forums. A lot. So that is the trade-off, one to which we agree by participating.

I haven't asked you about your suck-tastic experience. Don't want to pry. But know that I'm here if you wish to share.

 

[Stairs In My House]

You're right, I'm probably being a bit unfair.

I haven't asked you about your suck-tastic experience. Don't want to pry. But know that I'm here if you wish to share.

After more than 15 years of admittedly sporadic, not terribly dedicated searching for my biological mother, I finally got somewhere, only "somewhere" turned out to be a grave. I was prepared for all kinds of unpleasant things but I really wasn't expecting that one. I mean, I had considered the possibility, but I was not prepared for how much grief I would feel for the loss of someone I have no memory of. It is the most painful thing that has ever happened to me.

She died 8 years ago, and all the information I would have needed to meet her before she died is sitting in a building a few miles away from me. Sealed for my protection. Or her protection. Or my adoptive parents' protection. It depends on who you ask and when you ask them. In any case, protection from shame.

Our stupid, stupid society.

She was only 51 years old when she died. I don't know what the cause of death was, but for my actual protection (and my daughter's) I'd better find out, because that's awfully young. I know of other adoptees who've found birthfamilies with really scary medical histories where early testing and prevention can make all the difference.

I just sent a letter to one of her sisters. I hope I get a reply. My evidence is really, really solid but I guess it could be a cosmic-level coincidence of identical uncommon names with identical birthdates. I am not entertaining any such hopes, of course; I'm just being careful.

 

[uumckk16]

Finals!

Ack, me too! :cover: Good luck with yours!

SIMH, I'm sorry to hear about your loss

 

[lilithu]

I mean, I had considered the possibility, but I was not prepared for how much grief I would feel for the loss of someone I have no memory of.

I'm very sorry. Your grief is entirely reasonable. Have you talked with your minister?

 

[lilithu]

If anyone else is going to General Assembly in Portland, OR, look for me at the Advocacy & Witness booth. If I'm not there, the people there will know how to reach me. Don't ask for lilithu - they won't know what you're talking about - ask for Kat.

I am crazy busy preparing for GA, so I probably won't see you guys online again until afterwards. Be well!

 

[applewuud]

Is anyone else going to Portland for GA? I'm sorry to miss it, but just can't afford the travel and hotel this year. I'll be "attending" via the Internet for the first time...at least some of the keynote speeches & sermons...but my favorite activity was going to workshops, and they're not online.

Have fun, Kat.

 

[uu_sage]

GA attendance during at least one point in my life would be a dream. Fortunately, with the help of my congregation, I was able to go the District Assembly for the Pacific Southwest District (PSWD) as one of eight representatives. That and it was within a stone's throw of home, and my church. Whats keeping me from going to GA? expenses, distance, and a full calendar. In the next few years I expect a return of GA to California or somewhere near California. All signs point to no in the next few years. Like you I will watch GA by live feeds direct from the UUA website.

Is anyone else going to Portland for GA? I'm sorry to miss it, but just can't afford the travel and hotel this year. I'll be "attending" via the Internet for the first time...at least some of the keynote speeches & sermons...but my favorite activity was going to workshops, and they're not online.

Have fun, Kat.

 

[uumckk16]

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to say my good-byes somewhere, and I thought this would be a good place. I love RF a lot and it's been an incredible community for me and has helped me to grow a lot in the past year+, but I think I really need to spend some time alone with God, exploring my spirituality on my own. I'm sure I'll drop in here occasionally and at some point I'll probably come back Thanks so much to so many of you for being such great friends/supporters for the past year...I'll miss you!

Des, thanks for introducing me to TCPC. You should come drop by the forums sometime! (I think they're down at the moment though)...

Lilithu, I'll drop you a message if I ever get around to heading over to your church so maybe we can meet

Thanks again everyone! Talk to you again someday, I hope :hug:

-McKenna

 

[lilithu]

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to say my good-byes somewhere, and I thought this would be a good place. I love RF a lot and it's been an incredible community for me and has helped me to grow a lot in the past year+, but I think I really need to spend some time alone with God, exploring my spirituality on my own. I'm sure I'll drop in here occasionally and at some point I'll probably come back Thanks so much to so many of you for being such great friends/supporters for the past year...I'll miss you!

Des, thanks for introducing me to TCPC. You should come drop by the forums sometime! (I think they're down at the moment though)...

Lilithu, I'll drop you a message if I ever get around to heading over to your church so maybe we can meet

Thanks again everyone! Talk to you again someday, I hope :hug:

-McKenna

McK, I am very sad to see you go. :sad: The part of RF that I really wanted to hold on to was the UU community here, which seems to be disintegrating. But I trust you're doing what's best for you. Definitely come and visit All Souls. May the Spirit guide you and keep you til we meet again.

Namaste,
-kat

 

[lunamoth]

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to say my good-byes somewhere, and I thought this would be a good place. I love RF a lot and it's been an incredible community for me and has helped me to grow a lot in the past year+, but I think I really need to spend some time alone with God, exploring my spirituality on my own. I'm sure I'll drop in here occasionally and at some point I'll probably come back Thanks so much to so many of you for being such great friends/supporters for the past year...I'll miss you!

Des, thanks for introducing me to TCPC. You should come drop by the forums sometime! (I think they're down at the moment though)...

Lilithu, I'll drop you a message if I ever get around to heading over to your church so maybe we can meet

Thanks again everyone! Talk to you again someday, I hope :hug:

-McKenna

Hope all is well uumck. I will miss your posts...come back after your break!

luna

 

[cityms]

I am partial to good tea, made with tea leaves in a pot, or to an organic arabica coffee (fair trade). I sometimes say that the best part of our UU service is meeting up with friends at coffee time afterwards but of course I derive so much from the service itself.