The Anti-Father's Day Thread

[Orbit]

This is "anti" in the sense of "opposite", not in the sense of criticizing Father's Day.

For those of you who grew up without a present dad, or with a deadbeat or otherwise objectionable dad, how do you manage on Father's Day? What do you say when well-meaning acquaintances ask "What are you doing on Father's Day"? Is it a difficult day?

It's always very awkward for me, and I was wondering how other people think about it.

 

[BSM1]

Lost my Dad when I was eleven. After that Father's Day sorta became a moot point.

 

[Rick O'Shez]

I blame the Americans.

 

[Quintessence]

I've never recognized this day or the one for the female parent as being holidays. Honoring the ancestors already has a day in my religion, and it's superfluous to add another two.

 

[jeager106]

hummm?
My father was an abusive, emotionally unavailable, person.
( My motha was far worse!)
My sis and I were sad but RELIEVED when they died.
Think I'm bad for feeling that way? Our suffering ended you see.
I choose to take what good (little that there was) I learned from him like
hunting, fishing, gardening, but leave the brutality behind.
My 4 children all say I'm a "good dad".
It don't get no better than that.
Religion?
Mother was a J.W. that used "Jehovah" to scare us to DEATH!
I hate that "god" but love the God I know today.

 

[Mindmaster]

Be happy you even know who your daddy is, maybe you can celebrate that. It's getting rarer these days, I assure you.

 

[yiostheoy]

This is "anti" in the sense of "opposite", not in the sense of criticizing Father's Day.

For those of you who grew up without a present dad, or with a deadbeat or otherwise objectionable dad, how do you manage on Father's Day? What do you say when well-meaning acquaintances ask "What are you doing on Father's Day"? Is it a difficult day?

It's always very awkward for me, and I was wondering how other people think about it.

I remember that my mom always made a lemon merengue pie for my dad on Fathers' Day.

They were neither really good parents, not really cut out for it.

But they did love each other. For them the kids just got in the way is all.

So Fathers' Day and Mothers' Day are equally problematic for me.

 

[yiostheoy]

'

hummm?
My father was an abusive, emotionally unavailable, person.
( My motha was far worse!)
My sis and I were sad but RELIEVED when they died.
Think I'm bad for feeling that way? Our suffering ended you see.
I choose to take what good (little that there was) I learned from him like
hunting, fishing, gardening, but leave the brutality behind.
My 4 children all say I'm a "good dad".
It don't get no better than that.
Religion?
Mother was a J.W. that used "Jehovah" to scare us to DEATH!
I hate that "god" but love the God I know today.

Yah it was like that for us too.

Ironically my sisters and I swung the opposite way as our parents and we became extremely permissive of others including children of ours.

I attribute my father's problems to PTSD from WW2. My mother's problems were due to her own abuse by her own parents.

They were both victims of their own environments and they were neither resilient, so they never overcame it themselves.

I hope they at least made it into Purgatory and did not go into Hell for it.

 

[yiostheoy]

I blame the Americans.

The USA starting with Kennedy and culminating in Clinton have always been pro IRA.

So you cannot blame us.

You have to go back to blaming the bloody British.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I ignore it.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

It's just any other day to me. And I don't need today, or Mother's Day, or any other holiday to make me wonder what it's like being a part of a family that actually gets together and does stuff as a family, including getting together on the holidays.

 

[Deathbydefault]

I drove my sister out to give her gift, as I might for the next few years, and then I drove home.

Mother's day and father's day long ago lost any meaning to me as I deny the existence of any such figures in my life.

 

[freethinker44]

I don't really like any holiday so not having a relationship with my father means father's day is one of my favorite holidays because it's the only one I don't have to be annoyed with.

It's not awkward at all when people ask me about my father, not awkward to me at least.
It was when I was in school, but I think that's more because I didn't understand that not every family was like mine.
I thought I was just behind the curve or something, like they were asking me a question I didn't study for.

Now when people ask about my father I just give them blunt honesty like it's completely normal and watch them squirm.

 

[Jainarayan]

It doesn't mean anything to me. It irritates me when people, usually coworkers, ask how my weekend, Father's Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, [insert any money-making holiday] was. It makes an assumption I recognize or celebrate those, or that I should have had a good one. I've learned to answer with "it was the same as any other day".

 

[First Baseman]

I am truly sorry to hear about all the sorry or non-existent fathers out there.

Surely you have someone out there you value and got your values from? Remember that person on this day.

 

[jeager106]

I am truly sorry to hear about all the sorry or non-existent fathers out there.

Surely you have someone out there you value and got your values from? Remember that person on this day.

Yes. ^^^^ My uncle, now deceased was my male guide in life.
Deeply religious and honest, loving, kind. I lived with him and his family one whole
summer and endured going to church 3 X a week but now am grateful for the
experience.

 

[URAVIP2ME]

This is "anti" in the sense of "opposite", not in the sense of criticizing Father's Day.
For those of you who grew up without a present dad, or with a deadbeat or otherwise objectionable dad, how do you manage on Father's Day? What do you say when well-meaning acquaintances ask "What are you doing on Father's Day"? Is it a difficult day?
It's always very awkward for me, and I was wondering how other people think about it.

Since dad died when I was 3 1/2 Father's Day was just an ordinary day.
My problem was after his death my dear loving Aunt became my guardian.
So, in grade school we made Mother's Day gifts and cards. Father's Day thankfully was after school ended.
When it was noticed that I would address my Mother's Day card to my Dear Aunt the kids made an issue of it.
When one of the classmates heard my parents were gone her body literally trembled in fright.
So, in my opinion, both ' days ' need to go.

 

[Smart_Guy]

I always wanted to go crabbing at a tropical beach.

 

[First Baseman]

I always wanted to go crabbing at a tropical beach.

So what's stopping you?

 

[Smart_Guy]

So what's stopping you?

My car is rear wheal drive.