Strangers you meet.

[michel]

Now I guess most of you know by now that I am an 'odball'. I don't really care anymore; I try to live my life the way I think I should lead it, rather than the way others would have me lead it.

One of my 'quirks' (as my family would have it) is that I say 'hello' to everyone I pass in the street (nearly everybody; if their body language tells me 'no', I don't - but they are in the minority).

I have noticed something. If people feel that they have something in common to the both of them, they are far more likely to reciprocate.

I use a crutch; whenever I meet a disabled person, I see an immediate empathy and what amounts to a 'hail fellow in the same boat'.

What I don't understand is why people seem to need that extra 'something in common' to feel that way. We are, after all, all humans - surely that is enough ?

What do you think? why are some so insular ?

 

[Karl R]

What do you think? why are some so insular ?

I can think of lots of reasons.

I grew up in Detroit, which was called "the murder capital of the world" at that time. When I see someone approaching me on the street, the first thing I do is assess how much of a potential threat they are.

I now live in Houston, another metropolitan city. Walking down the street still isn't a universally safe option. In addition, most of the people who try to talk to me are bums looking for someone to support their drinking habit. (The aren't happy if you give them food, even if they asked for money for food.) To them, I'm just another faceless mark. That doesn't exactly encourage friendly interaction with them.

I've noticed that people become more insular as the number of people around them increases. This especially seems to be true downtown when it's busiest.

I don't think there's one overriding rule why people insulate themselves from others. Instead, there's multiple reasons that may apply to any person.

 

[Buttons*]

I'm usually very friendly to strangers and helpful when i can be.
Sometimes if I walk around randomly saying hello, my friends smack my arm or something and say, "do you even know who that is?" .... no, do you?

I see nothing wrong with saying hello and being kind to strangers. Sometimes they dont say hello back and just give me strange looks, but hey, I did my part, and thats all I can do.

 

[Buttercup]

I'm with you Michel. I can't imagine not saying hello to a person when I'm out walking. I would feel quite rude. But, I also agree with Karl in that the bigger the city you live in, the more insular people become. When I go to see my Mom in Southern California I've noticed the people don't say hello when walking down the street nor do they look at each other while passing in cars. They're going too fast! there's no time! We look at each other as we pass up here.....there's nothing else to do!

 

[mrscardero]

Just like they say. If you want to be treated with respect, respect others. But it doesn't always work out that way. cardero and I are always curtious to others. Say hello to others passing by and even holding the door open for them as we enter or exit. cardero will hold the door for me and when there are others, he holds the door for them. I would turn around and be 200 feet away and there's cardero still holding the door. I think he should get tips like the doormen

.

But then there are those who will not even give you a nod.

When I go out with our clients to the movies, mall, out to restaurants or other places, we get the look like, we should have stayed home. If they could only say, "Why did you bring them out?" My guys would say hello to others and all they would get is a stare or ignored. They would come to me and ask me why they would not get a responce. I tell them just what Buttons had stated. You did your part.
Better to give then to receive. I see in their eyes and the tone of their voice that they are hurt. That they are not getting respect in return. We teach our guys how to respect others just like they would like to be treated. So that when they are independent, they would be treated with the same. But how can we teach them something that we know will have those who will not treat them the same. Equal. My co-workers and I feel that even though we teach them how to be independent and we send them out to live on their own, we find that they are going out to sea to swim and sink.
Our guys could be the sweetest and turn around and they would be depressed from the ignorance of some of the people out there.

But michel, no matter how some see us, I don't think we could ever change. Even if we are ignored or stared at like, "Why are you even talking to me?", we will always give that respect of greetings and etc. That's just the way we are.

That's just the way they are.

 

[Scarlett Wampus]

I've noticed that people become more insular as the number of people around them increases. This especially seems to be true downtown when it's busiest.

Yep, I've seen that. Coming from living in a busy city to a remote area of the country it took me by surprise how many people would just try to start up a conversation with me when I went out walking. The first person who did this made me think he was insane! It was typical of down here though, he just wanted to talk about how great the sunset was and his worries about his dog's health.

 

[michel]

Yep, I've seen that. Coming from living in a busy city to a remote area of the country it took me by surprise how many people would just try to start up a conversation with me when I went out walking. The first person who did this made me think he was insane! It was typical of down here though, he just wanted to talk about how great the sunset was and his worries about his dog's health.

That's why I live in a small town; can't stand the idea of living in a city.

Just like they say. If you want to be treated with respect, respect others. But it doesn't always work out that way. cardero and I are always curtious to others. Say hello to others passing by and even holding the door open for them as we enter or exit. cardero will hold the door for me and when there are others, he holds the door for them. I would turn around and be 200 feet away and there's cardero still holding the door. I think he should get tips like the doormen

.

Actually, that is quite funny, because I am the same......but I forget I am disabled with a crutch..sometimes I get myself in such a mess:biglaugh:

I'm usually very friendly to strangers and helpful when i can be.
Sometimes if I walk around randomly saying hello, my friends smack my arm or something and say, "do you even know who that is?" .... no, do you?

I see nothing wrong with saying hello and being kind to strangers. Sometimes they dont say hello back and just give me strange looks, but hey, I did my part, and thats all I can do.

That's the way I see it; but I worry about those who are so wrapped up.........

 

[standing_on_one_foot]

What I don't understand is why people seem to need that extra 'something in common' to feel that way. We are, after all, all humans - surely that is enough ?

What do you think? why are some so insular ?

Hmm. Because we are all human, there's nothing about the fact that makes it stand out? Whereas having something in common does stand out, and is a good way for people who are uncomfortable in social situations to start interacting, etc. Plus, sometimes it's nice to feel connected, and in a huge city with lots of people, the human thing isn't necessarily enough.

I notice it too, and it does seem a bit odd. It's like, when you're off-roading or hiking and you see another person you always interact, but in other situations you don't. Of course, part of that is that it's rude to ignore/not interact with another person, but in a crowded situation the rules are changed simply because there's no possible way you can interact with everyone, which has the odd effect of making you interact less.

 

[Mike182]

because i work in the main local shop, i know a lot of local people around the village! so i say hello to a lot of people on my way to college

around town, i bow my head in recognition to every Goth i see, and most bow their heads back........ some growl, but most respond!

other than that, i don't tend to talk to "people" unless im waiting for the bus or quing for a coffee, i don't mind having a small random conversation with the person behind me.

 

[Squirt]

Now I guess most of you know by now that I am an 'odball'. I don't really care anymore; I try to live my life the way I think I should lead it, rather than the way others would have me lead it.

One of my 'quirks' (as my family would have it) is that I say 'hello' to everyone I pass in the street (nearly everybody; if their body language tells me 'no', I don't - but they are in the minority).

I have noticed something. If people feel that they have something in common to the both of them, they are far more likely to reciprocate.

I use a crutch; whenever I meet a disabled person, I see an immediate empathy and what amounts to a 'hail fellow in the same boat'.

What I don't understand is why people seem to need that extra 'something in common' to feel that way. We are, after all, all humans - surely that is enough ?

What do you think? why are some so insular ?

That's a really good question. I think maybe we're a little bit afraid of being rejected. You pretty much know before you speak to someone with a physical disability how he or she will respond to your friendliness. It's unfortunate that we're not all as friendly as you are, but I suspect it has more to do with wanting to protect ourselves from a grouchy response than anything else. If I make eye contact with a stranger, I will generally smile and speak to him first. But if a person walks by me and does not make eye contact, I will generally just ignore him.

Exception to the rule: If he has a dog, a remark about what a great looking animal it is will almost always be an ice-breaker.