Sorry I need to say a prayer

[Spiderman]

I totally understand that. One half of me wants to quit altogether and the other half does not want to do anything else. I really do believe in my religion is the Truth from God for this age, and it is my responsibility to make that known to other people, but also I have found that forums are good for my own spiritual growth and I have many friends on forums.

But it has really gotten out of hand. I started on some other religious forums about five years ago and now I cannot get my old life back... I do not even remember what it was like anymore. It is not as if I have lost touch with reality; I still hold fast to my beliefs, it is that I have no life outside the internet, except at work and to and from work on my bike. It is so bad that I am of retirement age and I have a lot of money and assets, but I do not even want to retire, because the only place I see people anymore is at work!

My boss just looks at me askance because everyone who works for the state looks forward to retirement with excitement and glee! Moreover, I do not even have time to “plan” for retirement, since I am always on the computer! My husband has been retired for over two years and we have not even signed up for his state pension yet because we don’t have time to decide which options to take. I have tenants who have not paid rent and I have to go to court, no time...

Well, last week I made a decision to cut back on my forum posting and it is going a little better now; the problem is I have my own forum and if my friends who are mostly nonbelievers post to me there I have to answer them. I do care more about other people than I care about myself, and I consider that a good thing, but there are things I have to do that have not been getting done, and I do not mean recreational activities because I am willing to sacrifice those because I consider God more important than anything else!

I do not know what forums you have been on but this forum is a really good place to be because there is a lot of awareness here. Moreover, the people are very respectful and tolerant of other people and their beliefs. It was not that way on a forum I just left. The owner and moderator ruled with an iron hand and they were not just. They were nonbelievers and very intolerant of believers even though they called it a religious forum. I am glad to be out of there but since I left they dropped from first to third place because I was a primary poster and people liked to talk to me in spite of the fact that they attacked my beliefs. Most were atheists there but they were not as tolerant as the atheists here, nor were they as aware and level-headed.

If I were you, I would stay away from forums that are doing a mind job on you. This forum is enough to post on. I still post on a couple of other forums but that is because one is my forum and I have friends there and on one other forum. But I am trying to lay low. I will invariably get accosted by some atheists or Christians if I open my mouth, not that I care what they think of my beliefs or of me, but I am tired of arguing. I am not trying to “win” any debates. I am just trying to have civil conversations.

Hang in there. If you need somebody to talk to who is rational and down to earth I am here. I do believe in God and an afterlife but that is about it for beliefs. Otherwise I am very practical, as my religion is a practical religion, down to earth. I am off to work now. See you later.

Great post!

You make me really question if my internet addiction is perhaps a substitute for the drug addiction I just overcame, and if it really has the potential to ruin my life.

A few months ago I totally took a break from the internet entirely for a few months.

I felt a lot more happy and closer to God.

 

[Thief]

Dear God
Protect me from the evils that are after my soul
I feel their dark presence hiding in the light
They want to come get me
I am either losing the plot or this is for real
I cast in bait and caught the fish
Now I feel like the bait
Oh my wise and wonderful God be real
do not forsake me
I am not done yet
Amen


p.s apologies I needed to say it.

God dwelt in the darkness before He created light

and the Carpenter gave instruction.....
go to your closet and close the door
and the Spirit that knows you will hear your words

you can deal with it
just stay calm

 

[Trailblazer]

Thank you for your kind sincere words. Unfortunately I am not working at the moment , I am a carer for somebody so all I have to occupy my mind is the internet as television is useless and I don't get out much.
I will try to lay low as you say , but its what to occupy my mind with. My favourite pastime is fishing, but at the moment I can't even do that , even fishing costs lots of money these days.

I used to watch a lot of TV before I came to forums but now all I watch is a show or two very late at night or into the early morning after I eat dinner and before I go to bed. I like true crime dramas and law, not much else.

I don't think the internet is a bad use of time but I think one has to be very selective. I never go on Facebook and I mostly post on this forum. I post a few things on two other forums where I know all the people, but those forums are more like a social club for me. Most Baha'is are very sociable but I do not like going out and I am an introvert so groups are not my thing.

Fishing sounds fun. My house overlooks a really beautiful lake. I never went fishing but all my neighbors do. One of my neighbors lives in a trailer and he puts his inflatable raft into the lake to go fishing because he said maintaining a boat is too expensive.

 

[Trailblazer]

Great post!

You make me really question if my internet addiction is perhaps a substitute for the drug addiction I just overcame, and if it really has the potential to ruin my life.

A few months ago I totally took a break from the internet entirely for a few months.

I felt a lot more happy and closer to God.

Gee, I thought I was the only one with a problem.

I also had a few addictions in my deep dark past so I have that kind of personality.
I think that forums can become an addiction. I do not surf the web or go on Facebook. I post mostly on this forum. I do post on a couple of other forums, my own forum and one other one, but mostly because I have friends there. Most of my friends are nonbelievers and they like to joke around about God, although I know they also would like to believe in God if they could find the evidence they require.... So I just keep hoping for a breakthrough. I mean what could be more important than God, I say, and that is what keeps me going on the forums.

I cannot say what would happen if I took a break from forums. When I cut down I start to feel guilty, like I am abandoning people. I also have the potential to get depressed if I am not busy doing something I consider worthwhile, and usually that means work and not fun for myself. I have always been this way, even before my religion period that started about five years ago. Before that I was in college amassing degrees for 15 years.

 

[james blunt]

I used to watch a lot of TV before I came to forums but now all I watch is a show or two very late at night or into the early morning after I eat dinner and before I go to bed. I like true crime dramas and law, not much else.

I don't think the internet is a bad use of time but I think one has to be very selective. I never go on Facebook and I mostly post on this forum. I post a few things on two other forums where I know all the people, but those forums are more like a social club for me. Most Baha'is are very sociable but I do not like going out and I am an introvert so groups are not my thing.

Fishing sounds fun. My house overlooks a really beautiful lake. I never went fishing but all my neighbors do. One of my neighbors lives in a trailer and he puts his inflatable raft into the lake to go fishing because he said maintaining a boat is too expensive.

I tend to watch documentaries on you-tube , that is one good thing about the internet. It sounds nice where you live, my house overlooks the council estate I live on . Rather ''grey'' and morbid looking. Fishing is one of life's getaway from it all, tranquil.
There is nothing better than waking up in your bivvy (glorified tent) in the morning, stepping out to a mist over the lake , the sun coming up above the tree's, the sound of the birds singing., the grass sparkling with morning dew. My piece of peace of heaven, and if we are lucky we catch fish too . You know it's like just so peaceful and you can forget the rest of the world , focused on trying to outsmart the fish, there is some clever fish I tell ye.

 

[Trailblazer]

I tend to watch documentaries on you-tube , that is one good thing about the internet. It sounds nice where you live, my house overlooks the council estate I live on . Rather ''grey'' and morbid looking. Fishing is one of life's getaway from it all, tranquil.
There is nothing better than waking up in your bivvy (glorified tent) in the morning, stepping out to a mist over the lake , the sun coming up above the tree's, the sound of the birds singing., the grass sparkling with morning dew. My piece of peace of heaven, and if we are lucky we catch fish too . You know it's like just so peaceful and you can forget the rest of the world , focused on trying to outsmart the fish, there is some clever fish I tell ye.

I cannot see the lake now that the leaves are back on the trees. I live in a forest, but in the fall and winter when leaves fall I can see the lake. I am an animal lover so I would never cut the trees down and take away the animal and bird habitat. I love watching birds, squirrels, chipmunks and raccoons and we feed all of them.

I live near all kinds of mountains, lakes, rivers, and places to hike and camp out. I used to like to do all kinds of outdoor activities but now I am too busy to go out, and since I live in the woods that’ll have to do for now. I also ride my bike for three hours a day to work and back and I walk a lot so I get some outdoor activity.

As a child, we used to go to a rustic cabin on a very remote lake in Canada that had no roads around it, only a long dirt road leading to each end of the lake that was 12 miles long. The cabin had only boat access. We went there for three months every summer. As I recall, my older brother did a lot of fishing on the lake, but all me and my sister did was swimming. Those were my only good memories of childhood. My dad died when I was 12 and everything went downhill after that.

Anyway, I hope you are feeling better.

 

[james blunt]

I cannot see the lake now that the leaves are back on the trees. I live in a forest, but in the fall and winter when leaves fall I can see the lake. I am an animal lover so I would never cut the trees down and take away the animal and bird habitat. I love watching birds, squirrels, chipmunks and raccoons and we feed all of them.

I live near all kinds of mountains, lakes, rivers, and places to hike and camp out. I used to like to do all kinds of outdoor activities but now I am too busy to go out, and since I live in the woods that’ll have to do for now. I also ride my bike for three hours a day to work and back and I walk a lot so I get some outdoor activity.

As a child, we used to go to a rustic cabin on a very remote lake in Canada that had no roads around it, only a long dirt road leading to each end of the lake that was 12 miles long. The cabin had only boat access. We went there for three months every summer. As I recall, my older brother did a lot of fishing on the lake, but all me and my sister did was swimming. Those were my only good memories of childhood. My dad died when I was 12 and everything went downhill after that.

Anyway, I hope you are feeling better.

I am feeling a lot better thanks, I broke my own rules and let things get the better of me . Canada sounds a lovely place to live, there isn't to much to say about where I come from, pretty dull and morbid. Both of my parents are dead, got brothers and a sister who I rarely see anymore. My kids are my world at the moment, I don't really have anything else. Well almost nothing, I have an electric cycle I got cheap because it was broke, then got lucky with it and it started working lol. Was thinking about your bike journey , motorbike?

 

[Trailblazer]

I am feeling a lot better thanks, I broke my own rules and let things get the better of me . Canada sounds a lovely place to live, there isn't to much to say about where I come from, pretty dull and morbid. Both of my parents are dead, got brothers and a sister who I rarely see anymore. My kids are my world at the moment, I don't really have anything else. Well almost nothing, I have an electric cycle I got cheap because it was broke, then got lucky with it and it started working lol. Was thinking about your bike journey , motorbike?

I am glad you are feeling better. I had been feeling very bad too but I started to feel better towards the end of the week. I have a long history of depression and anxiety so I have to fight constantly to not go back down that road again.

I like Canada but I never lived in Canada; at the time we went to the cabin we lived in Indiana. Both my parents are dead now too and my sister died in 2004 so now all I have is one brother, but I never see him or talk to him anymore. I never had children so all I have is my husband.

You are lucky to have children. I always wondered what that would be like, but I was never capable of taking on such a responsibility, and I always had too many other things going on that precluded parenthood.

My 11 cats are my world at the moment and they require constant care and vigilance. That is one reason I am home all the time I am not at work, because some of them are old and ill and require constant attention. I used to love to travel but I can no longer travel because of the cats.

I have a regular bicycle, not a motorbike, so I have to pedal all those miles to and from work. I do not like driving a car at all anymore but I do not mind riding the bike. It gives me a lot of time to think and pray to God for much needed help.

My life is quite stressful at the moment because I have a lot of responsibilities. Not only do I have a full time job and 11 cats, but we own three houses and two are rentals with tenants and house repairs needed. If I had my druthers I would have a simpler life, with only one small house or a cabin in the woods, but with 11 cats we needed a big house and a yard for them.

 

[james blunt]

I am glad you are feeling better. I had been feeling very bad too but I started to feel better towards the end of the week. I have a long history of depression and anxiety so I have to fight constantly to not go back down that road again.

I like Canada but I never lived in Canada; at the time we went to the cabin we lived in Indiana. Both my parents are dead now too and my sister died in 2004 so now all I have is one brother, but I never see him or talk to him anymore. I never had children so all I have is my husband.

You are lucky to have children. I always wondered what that would be like, but I was never capable of taking on such a responsibility, and I always had too many other things going on that precluded parenthood.

My 11 cats are my world at the moment and they require constant care and vigilance. That is one reason I am home all the time I am not at work, because some of them are old and ill and require constant attention. I used to love to travel but I can no longer travel because of the cats.

I have a regular bicycle, not a motorbike, so I have to pedal all those miles to and from work. I do not like driving a car at all anymore but I do not mind riding the bike. It gives me a lot of time to think and pray to God for much needed help.

My life is quite stressful at the moment because I have a lot of responsibilities. Not only do I have a full time job and 11 cats, but we own three houses and two are rentals with tenants and house repairs needed. If I had my druthers I would have a simpler life, with only one small house or a cabin in the woods, but with 11 cats we needed a big house and a yard for them.

11 cats oh my, but why not if you have got the room for them. Having children just brings another worry in your life, it is good and bad at the same time. I worry about them and they worry about me, sometimes I wish we was robots, much simpler. I have not travelled much, went France once fishing, apart from that have never left the UK. I like to travel about the UK when I can, there is some nice places just not really local.
Anyway you take care on that bike , don't be driving to fast now .

 

[Trailblazer]

11 cats oh my, but why not if you have got the room for them. Having children just brings another worry in your life, it is good and bad at the same time. I worry about them and they worry about me, sometimes I wish we was robots, much simpler. I have not travelled much, went France once fishing, apart from that have never left the UK. I like to travel about the UK when I can, there is some nice places just not really local.
Anyway you take care on that bike , don't be driving to fast now .

I figured you were from the UK. My buddy Mock Turtle is also from the UK.
I have never been to the UK, but I would like to go there someday.
The weather there is very similar to where I live in the western Washington State.

 

[james blunt]

I figured you were from the UK. My buddy Mock Turtle is also from the UK.
I have never been to the UK, but I would like to go there someday.
The weather there is very similar to where I live in the western Washington State.

Not too hot and not too cold hey. We have some funny weather lately here, a bit yo-yo . I think if I ever visited Canada, I would have to go have a peak at Alaska , fish for fresh water Salmon, see some bears then run away ahha.

 

[Trailblazer]

Not too hot and not too cold hey. We have some funny weather lately here, a bit yo-yo . I think if I ever visited Canada, I would have to go have a peak at Alaska , fish for fresh water Salmon, see some bears then run away ahha.

Same here, not too hot and not too cold.

 

[james blunt]

Same here, not too hot and not too cold.

What is your profession?

 

[Trailblazer]

What is your profession?

I am a GIS Cartographer... I make maps.

 

[james blunt]

I am a GIS Cartographer... I make maps.

That's cool, do you use like satellite imaging etc?

 

[Trailblazer]

That's cool, do you use like satellite imaging etc?

 

[Trailblazer]

Yeah, sometimes we look at that on our computer screens, but mostly we just move lines around on the maps. My job is specific to Tax Code Area boundaries.

 

[james dixon]

Sorry I need to say a prayer
Sorry is not a prayer
It is a feeling
Hopefully you and yours
Never
Feel it -I​

 

[james blunt]

Yeah, sometimes we look at that on our computer screens, but mostly we just move lines around on the maps. My job is specific to Tax Code Area boundaries.

Interesting, sounds like you enjoy your job. I have had several careers myself, I can do a variety of things. Thinking back , when I was a silk screen printer, that was one of my more interesting jobs.
Was always smelling of print ink though lol.

 

[Trailblazer]

Interesting, sounds like you enjoy your job. I have had several careers myself, I can do a variety of things. Thinking back , when I was a silk screen printer, that was one of my more interesting jobs.
Was always smelling of print ink though lol.

I have been a cartographer for about 40 years now.... I have never done anything else for a career except for a short time when I was practicing as a Homeopathic Counselor. I wanted to do that for a career but it never worked out, for various reasons.

I like my job but I am old enough to retire. I just cannot make a decision what to do so I keep working.