Well, it is not good, I think I really need to quit the internet but I am finding it hard to break free. One half of me wants to run and one half wants to try and help the world.
I totally understand that. One half of me wants to quit altogether and the other half does not want to do anything else. I really do believe in my religion is the Truth from God for this age, and it is my responsibility to make that known to other people, but also I have found that forums are good for my own spiritual growth and I have many friends on forums.
But it has really gotten out of hand. I started on some other religious forums about five years ago and now I cannot get my old life back... I do not even remember what it was like anymore. It is not as if I have lost touch with reality; I still hold fast to my beliefs, it is that I have no life outside the internet, except at work and to and from work on my bike. It is so bad that I am of retirement age and I have a lot of money and assets, but I do not even want to retire, because the only place I see people anymore is at work!
My boss just looks at me askance because everyone who works for the state looks forward to retirement with excitement and glee! Moreover, I do not even have time to “plan” for retirement, since I am always on the computer! My husband has been retired for over two years and we have not even signed up for his state pension yet because we don’t have time to decide which options to take. I have tenants who have not paid rent and I have to go to court, no time...
Well, last week I made a decision to cut back on my forum posting and it is going a little better now; the problem is I have my own forum and if my friends who are mostly nonbelievers post to me there I have to answer them. I do care more about other people than I care about myself, and I consider that a good thing, but there are things I have to do that have not been getting done, and I do not mean recreational activities because I am willing to sacrifice those because I consider God more important than anything else!
I am unsure of reality now where before I was sure. Not only do I think the government and science is lying , I also now feel owned by species 125 . Yes I have lost the plot and even think ''aliens'' are out to get me who have cloaking devices.
Boy oh boy, I am quite a rational person and normally logically accurate, but to think ''aliens'' are out to get me is a bit beyond rational.
I put my trust in religion forums, I am sure nobody would lie to me in the eyes of God. I feel safe here although there is no here apart from cyberspace.
I do not know what forums you have been on but this forum is a really good place to be because there is a lot of awareness here. Moreover, the people are very respectful and tolerant of other people and their beliefs. It was not that way on a forum I just left. The owner and moderator ruled with an iron hand and they were not just. They were nonbelievers and very intolerant of believers even though they called it a religious forum. I am glad to be out of there but since I left they dropped from first to third place because I was a primary poster and people liked to talk to me in spite of the fact that they attacked my beliefs. Most were atheists there but they were not as tolerant as the atheists here, nor were they as aware and level-headed.
If I were you, I would stay away from forums that are doing a mind job on you. This forum is enough to post on. I still post on a couple of other forums but that is because one is my forum and I have friends there and on one other forum. But I am trying to lay low. I will invariably get accosted by some atheists or Christians if I open my mouth, not that I care what they think of my beliefs or of me, but I am tired of arguing. I am not trying to “win” any debates. I am just trying to have civil conversations.
They have done such a mind job on me, they have confused me. Logically though , my thoughts are rational and I can only believe me .
I might turn ''invisible''', then nobody can see me or find me.
Hang in there. If you need somebody to talk to who is rational and down to earth I am here. I do believe in God and an afterlife but that is about it for beliefs. Otherwise I am very practical, as my religion is a practical religion, down to earth. I am off to work now. See you later.