Shushersbedamned
Well-Known Member
How would you react to sexual harassment at workplace if other people did not recognise it as such. I.e. either not recognise or not admit that it's happening.
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Sexual harassment at workplace
- Thread starter Shushersbedamned
- Start date
By coincidence, a friend of mine who owns a business recently had to deal with just such a situation, so the issue is kind of fresh in my mind.
If I was the boss, I'd first take aside the person or persons being harassed and ask them what they think of it. Then, if the behavior of the harassers was not too heinous, I'd take aside the harassers one by one and point out that their behavior was inappropriate and they need to change it (when I employed people, I had a policy of praising them in public but criticizing them only in private). I'd later follow up with the person(s) being harassed to see if the behavior had changed. Ultimately, if worse came to worse, I would reassign the harassers or let them go.
If I was not the boss, I'd go to the person I had observed being harassed, find out what they thought of it, and offer my support should they take the issue to the boss.
My mother -- who was the CEO of a small business -- taught me to take sexual harassment quite seriously, but she also pointed out to me that a lot of times it can be successfully addressed without making a capital crime of it.
If I was the boss, I'd first take aside the person or persons being harassed and ask them what they think of it. Then, if the behavior of the harassers was not too heinous, I'd take aside the harassers one by one and point out that their behavior was inappropriate and they need to change it (when I employed people, I had a policy of praising them in public but criticizing them only in private). I'd later follow up with the person(s) being harassed to see if the behavior had changed. Ultimately, if worse came to worse, I would reassign the harassers or let them go.
If I was not the boss, I'd go to the person I had observed being harassed, find out what they thought of it, and offer my support should they take the issue to the boss.
My mother -- who was the CEO of a small business -- taught me to take sexual harassment quite seriously, but she also pointed out to me that a lot of times it can be successfully addressed without making a capital crime of it.
Shushersbedamned
Well-Known Member
But if you are not the boss and are alone being harassed
Sound out your co-workers to see if any of them have observed you being harassed and is willing to support you. If not, you should still go the boss, but not before putting out feelers for employment elsewhere. I know that might sound strange, but businesses are not about justice, they're about making a profit, and if the person harassing you is more valuable to the company than you are, he or she is going to win unless you can bring a tight case against them.
Curious George
Veteran Member
This is a very contextual question. But general terms would work as well.
Is this peer to peer? Supervisor to employee? Employee to supervisor? Or environmental?
I think that the response to each is different.
@Shushersbedamned I didn't realize the harassment was happening to you. Perhaps it would help if you would describe what your situation is. As Curious George pointed out, a lot depends on context.
Shushersbedamned
Well-Known Member
Again. I don't want to. I just want to hear others now. If there are none..
*crickets*
I'm sure you have our sympathy, and it is just not on for others to do this. No other females who might help?
OK, Fair enough. I have never been sexually harassed in the workplace, but I have been harassed -- even as a boss (there are fools born every minute). Hopefully, some women who've dealt with this problem will weigh in here. I can only tell you this: You have my empathy. I know that's not enough, but you have it anyway.
Now here is what I've done when harassed. First, I have kept a detailed journal of the incidents. And I have logged every incident of harassment, in detail, without distortion and objectively as possible, complete with dates and times. Then I have added my reaction to the incident -- but only after first describing it in objective terms.
Something like this, "August 19, 1990. 10:03 AM. About 15 minutes ago, it was reported to me by Debbie that Cindy told her and two other people that she had seen me on TV the night before being arrested for child molestation. The two other people were Prentis and Mike. I have not spoken with either one, nor with Cindy, about the incident. If that's what Cindy truly said, her information is a complete fabrication. I have never molested a child nor been arrested for doing so. I intend to speak with Prentis and Mike as soon as possible.
Debbie's report leaves me stunned. I feel violated. I hope it is not true, that she has somehow misunderstood what Cindy said."
Debbie's report leaves me stunned. I feel violated. I hope it is not true, that she has somehow misunderstood what Cindy said."
By the way, I just quoted to you, as best I can recall now, something that actually happened to me, and that I logged at the time. I was advised by my lawyer to do that. The reasoning is, that in a court of law, such testimony can carry weight (at least in Illinois at the time). The more detailed the better. The more objective, the better.
So start by keeping a journal. You might not need it, but if you do, it will be invaluable to you.
That's the very first thing you should do.
EDIT: Curious George is spot on! Please take his advice into consideration.
EDIT AGAIN: I just remembered that my lawyer said it was very important to specify how soon after the incident you logged it. So, for instance, if the incident happened at ten o'clock, you should specify both the time of the incident and the time you logged it. The sooner you log something after it happens, the better.
Jumi
Well-Known Member
If I've guessed it, you're in Finland. If you are, you should read through this page:
Häirintä työpaikoilla - Tasa-arvovaltuutettu
What I would do is call the legal advice number there. You don't need to try handling the problem all by yourself, if you can get help.
If you're not Finnish, just ignore the link.
Häirintä työpaikoilla - Tasa-arvovaltuutettu
What I would do is call the legal advice number there. You don't need to try handling the problem all by yourself, if you can get help.
If you're not Finnish, just ignore the link.
YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
I am noting that this is in the Feminist Only DIR and I hope that the Staff will make an exception because I do have some thoughts on the matter. So, respectfully, to our Feminist friends, as a former employer and someone was was harassed by a manager early in my career know that you do not have to tolerate any negative behavior directed at you. @Sunstone gave great advice on documenting the incidents and that is what I did.
My experience with unbridled, relentless bullying was at a national firm that was one of the biggest department store chains in Canada in the 1970's. Over a period of months I was continually bullied and brow beaten by the department Manager. I began to jot down a quick note with the time and date, as there were multiple incidents DAILY in a tiny notebook I kept in my shirt pocket.
After I finally reported him to HR, and they looked at my excellent job evaluations, that stood in stark contrast to his behavior, they told me to go home for the rest of the day. I wiped my tears, got my coat and left. The next morning, my supervisor came up excitedly and said, "Al got called up to HR. He is there right now." A few minutes later, Al appeared and was obviously livid. I mean livid. He said something like, "You think you have won!" I was actually a little scared. He stormed by and left for the day. What I found out a bit later was that he had been given a month's suspension during which time, almost every morning HIS boss would strut by and praise me for doing a great job. My guess now is they realized I could have successfully sued but being a naive 20 year old that was the furthest thing from my mind. A few weeks later I was offered a lateral position in a new department. Now, I believe it was that notebook that sealed his fate and began my upward, fairly rapid, mobility in the company. Al was eventually fired for "Job performance issues".
The moral: No one has a right to bully another, for any reason, and that there are severe repercussions for doing so.
Years later, I was a manager at another company and had to deal with a harassment case. I was able to nip that one in the bud because the young lady came to me early on and told me about the antics on one of our male employees. He would go up behind her and start massaging her neck while she was at her desk. He insisted that he was just being "friendly". She insisted that it just creeped her out. It was a no-brainer to side with her and being the in 90's all companies were well aware of sexual harassment claims and how unpleasant they are to the individual and how potentially dangerous they are to the company that fails to act appropriately. The good looking young man didn't see how what he was doing to this gorgeous young lady was wrong. He did stop his behavior though. It might have helped that I told him that if he did not stop this I would be forced to fire him... and he was an otherwise good employee with an excellent sales record. He was smart enough to realize you do not recover easily from being fired for sexual harassment.
The moral: Do not let things of this nature fester. Document and report immediately any time you are placed in a situation that makes you feel threatened or weird or whatever. Communication is essential, but documentation will remove doubt.
I do hope that the Mods do not decide to delete my post even though I am not a member of this DIR.
My experience with unbridled, relentless bullying was at a national firm that was one of the biggest department store chains in Canada in the 1970's. Over a period of months I was continually bullied and brow beaten by the department Manager. I began to jot down a quick note with the time and date, as there were multiple incidents DAILY in a tiny notebook I kept in my shirt pocket.
After I finally reported him to HR, and they looked at my excellent job evaluations, that stood in stark contrast to his behavior, they told me to go home for the rest of the day. I wiped my tears, got my coat and left. The next morning, my supervisor came up excitedly and said, "Al got called up to HR. He is there right now." A few minutes later, Al appeared and was obviously livid. I mean livid. He said something like, "You think you have won!" I was actually a little scared. He stormed by and left for the day. What I found out a bit later was that he had been given a month's suspension during which time, almost every morning HIS boss would strut by and praise me for doing a great job. My guess now is they realized I could have successfully sued but being a naive 20 year old that was the furthest thing from my mind. A few weeks later I was offered a lateral position in a new department. Now, I believe it was that notebook that sealed his fate and began my upward, fairly rapid, mobility in the company. Al was eventually fired for "Job performance issues".
The moral: No one has a right to bully another, for any reason, and that there are severe repercussions for doing so.
Years later, I was a manager at another company and had to deal with a harassment case. I was able to nip that one in the bud because the young lady came to me early on and told me about the antics on one of our male employees. He would go up behind her and start massaging her neck while she was at her desk. He insisted that he was just being "friendly". She insisted that it just creeped her out. It was a no-brainer to side with her and being the in 90's all companies were well aware of sexual harassment claims and how unpleasant they are to the individual and how potentially dangerous they are to the company that fails to act appropriately. The good looking young man didn't see how what he was doing to this gorgeous young lady was wrong. He did stop his behavior though. It might have helped that I told him that if he did not stop this I would be forced to fire him... and he was an otherwise good employee with an excellent sales record. He was smart enough to realize you do not recover easily from being fired for sexual harassment.
The moral: Do not let things of this nature fester. Document and report immediately any time you are placed in a situation that makes you feel threatened or weird or whatever. Communication is essential, but documentation will remove doubt.
I do hope that the Mods do not decide to delete my post even though I am not a member of this DIR.